After The Fall
by Mrs. Brownloe
Summary: After Edward leaves, Bella thinks that her world has come to an end. Much to her surprise, however, it doesn't. In fact, she thrives. Years later, can she help Edward do the same?
1. Chapter 1

Title: **After the Fall**  
Category: Books » Twilight  
Author: Lady Gwynedd  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort  
Published: 11-24-09, Updated: 03-17-10  
Chapters: 25, Words: 92,039

* * *

**Chapter 1 The Fall**

* * *

**Prologue - The Fall**

_You don't belong in my world, Bella, and I am tired of trying to be someone I am not._

_You will never see me again._

And then that sonofabitch kissed my forehead and disappeared from my life.

At first I fell apart. I was completely devastated. Edward had become my universe. What in hell was I supposed to do now? I'd met him on my first day at Forks High and from that point on, like a moth attracted to a porch light on a hot August evening; I was utterly obsessed with him. Nothing else existed for me. He once likened me to his own personal addiction. Well, guess what Sherlock, he had become that to me and I had no clue how to live without him. Unhealthy much?

After curling up into a ball and lying comatose in my bed for a week, Charlie and Renee snapped me out of my emotional tantrum – which is what it was, I later saw– by threatening to ship me off to Jacksonville. I was having none of that. Sunny skies and warm breezes didn't suit my mood. I wanted to mope in the gloomy cold of Forks. I wanted to be miserable.

Well, to be honest I was miserable. I loved Edward and I missed him. I was grieving for him, for what we lost and for any chance to recover it. I went to school and to work on autopilot. I answered when I was spoken to but I didn't start conversations. I did my work meticulously because I had always been meticulous and I didn't want to draw attention to myself by acting out of character. I was flying under the radar, as they say. I wanted people to leave me alone and the only way that would happen was if I acted as normally as possible. But it was all a mask.

I could tell that Charlie was still concerned about me. He'd suggest that I hang out with my friends but, really, I had no friends in Forks. I guess he forgot that my "friends" moved away with my "boyfriend." The rest of my classmates were merely acquaintances. Being with the Cullens truly isolated me from everyone else and I never really realized it until they left.

I found that when I had free time in school, I spent it in the Library, completely lost in books. That's how I became friends with Ms Jones. I guess I shouldn't call a teacher my friend but that's what she was. She's the one who helped me through my "situation"—my "situation" being the total mind and heart fuck that Edward had laid on me and to be honest, I had laid on myself.

I had taken to spending my lunch period in the media center – the term they use for libraries these days - with my nose stuck in some book or another trying to trade my miserable reality for some romantic heroine's fantasy. I'd worked my way again through all of Austen and almost all of the Brontës. In fact, I was currently reading Anne Brontë's The Tennant of Wildfell Hall and was becoming ever increasingly puzzled with the story. It wasn't the typical boy meets girl, they fall in love, they have problems, they break up, they reunite, their problems are miraculously solved, and so they live happily ever after story that I had been used to. It was the tale of Helen whose love story followed the same course as the rest of the novels until it got to the part where they have problems and break up. What Helen does is not go into a romantic _decline_; she gets her ass out of her lousy situation and makes a damn life for herself.

I read that part over again, then shut the book with a snap and flipped it onto the wooden library table that I'd taken residence at for the past four months. I mumbled, "She made a damn life for _herself_."

Ms Jones happened to be shelving some books nearby and looked over at me, saw the book I had been reading and said, "Helen Graham is one of my favorite heroines. She didn't allow herself to be defined by the men in her life. She defined herself."

I looked at Ms Jones as if I had just had an epiphany, "She made a damn life for herself," I repeated.

Ms Jones snickered at my expression as I realized I'd just cursed in front of a teacher, but all she said was "Yep. She took care of business. And honestly, that is what we are all supposed to do. Anne Brontë was spot on with that. Helen would have none of those vapors and declines so typical of women heroines of her literary time. She was strong."

I nodded agreement and suddenly all those Eleanors, Catherines, and Janes seemed pretty one-dimensional to me. The one thing they had in common is that the men in their lives defined them; their fathers, their lovers, or their husbands. Without the men in their lives, they weren't much. Just chicks who were waiting around for their knights in shining armor to come galloping up and rescue them from their own vapidness. I was so over that shit.

I realized that I needed better role models and so Ms Jones and I started discussing other novels that had strong women in them and a whole new universe was revealed to me. The bell ended our conversation and Ms Jones asked me if I was interested in reading one of those novels together – our own private book club. She suggested some Margaret Atwood and I gleefully took her up on it.

That's how our Saturday morning book club started. It was the best thing that ever happened to me in my life and that included falling in love with Edward Cullen. It taught me that I had value independent of my mother, my father and Edward. I grew up then. No, actually, I matured then. Things became pretty clear to me and I had realized where I had gone wrong with my relationships. I needed to build a damn life for myself starting with defining just who in the hell I was. Being strong and independent was high on that list.

Soon, Ms Jones invited some others to join our book club and we all became fast became friends. Angela Weber, I'd known. There was Ashley Dowling, as well. They were both intelligent and interesting and I found that Saturday morning was fast becoming the highlight of my week.

Eventually, talk got onto what we were planning to do with our lives and I mentioned that I had always wanted to go to college and become a writer or a teacher or both but money was an issue so I probably wasn't going to go. That's all Ms Jones had to hear and we were off filling out applications, not just for colleges and universities but for grants and scholarships as well. I decided that while I was strong and independent, I still loved my folks and wanted to go to school within an easy distance of home, so I applied to schools in Washington and Florida. That way I'd be close to at least one of them.

It was all good and one day I woke up and realized that I had healed. Oh, I still missed Edward and his family but I had something going on in my life now that was both exciting and enriching. Just like Helen Graham, I was making a damn life for myself.

It was getting close to graduation by this time and I had found that I had been accepted to the University of Washington and a little school near Jacksonville, Flagler College.

I'd spent some time in Jacksonville and fell in love with little Flagler College. It was in St. Augustine, just forty miles or so from my mother's home. It was a beautiful school and had a wonderful English department. I earned a few grants and I applied for the one scholarship that Flagler gave to their best students and, to my immense gratification, they awarded it to me, a full four year scholarship complete with room and board. All I'd have to do was pay for my books and keep my grades up.

I made my strong and independent choice then. I'd go to school in St. Augustine, major in English Education (while the writing thing was working out for me, I'd teach—and maybe start my own Saturday morning book club for girls) and be happy. And I was. I had a damn life.

Socially, I had been hanging out with my girls but had put the kibosh on dating. It's not that I still carried a torch for Edward, although in all honesty, there was a part of me that did. I knew that I would always love him. I just didn't need him. Does that sound strange? But it wasn't because of my feelings for Edward that I didn't date, it was just that the boys my age didn't interest me much. Had I outgrown them? I didn't know.

I was sad to leave Charlie. We'd developed a good, comfortable relationship. We still didn't talk much – quiet is a trait we shared evidently, but I knew that Charlie was a fan of mine and to be frank, I was a fan of his, too. The longer I lived with Charlie, the more I admired him. He was a good, wise man and when we talked, he always had something to say that made me think. He wasn't a complicated man but he knew what was important.

Graduation came and went and I spent the summer working and getting stuff together for college. Soon, I found myself in quaint St. Augustine loving everything about my life (except the dining hall food but I think that's typical) and studying, learning and making new friends. I still didn't date, though. Again, no one really appealed to me and I was having too much fun just doing the student thing and simply being me.

Four years passed quickly and another graduation day loomed. I realized the time had come to seek my first career oriented job and so I started filling out job applications with various school districts and sitting in interviews with recruiters who would come to St. Augustine for likely candidates. For practice, I interviewed with any school system that came down. Imagine my surprise when an employment packet came addressed to me from Winchester, Virginia. I'd been offered a job to teach eleventh grade English and to sponsor the book club at James Wood High School.

And so I made another strong and independent decision and I accepted the position. That is why one sunny August day I found myself moving into a little bungalow in the pretty village of Winchester, Virginia. Charlie had decided to fly to Florida and help me with the move. We were driving from Florida to Virginia in my new Chevy Silverado that I received as a joint graduation gift from Renee, Phil and Charlie. Charlie was pleased to help me and pleased at my new surroundings. I guess he'd been in contact, one Chief of Police to another, with the COP in Winchester and found that though bigger than Forks, it had about the same crime rate. My Dad had his priorities.

So, I moved into my little house, drove dad over to Dulles International Airport outside of Washington, DC, (a two hour trip). He flew back to Forks and I drove back to my new life.

I spent the first week of my employment in teacher planning and meetings getting prepared for the students that were going to arrive on the Tuesday after Labor Day. I received my class lists the Friday before and was going through them when my eyes bugged out.

Holy Shit. One of my students' name was Alice Cullen.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Revelations**

* * *

I looked again at my class roster. It couldn't be my Alice, could it? How many Alice Cullens are there in the world? My hands started to get clammy and my heart raced. Imagine the chances of that happening twice in six years? I needed some answers.

I logged onto the school student information program and did a search for 'Cullen' and there they were: Listed as current students at James Wood High School were Alice, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie … but no Edward.

Where was Edward? My heart clenched. Could he be hurt or worse? Why wasn't he with his family? I could tell I was beginning to get hysterical and for that reason, it ticked me off. _GET A GRIP, BELLA. HE'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ANY LONGER. _And besides there could be a good reason he's not in school with his siblings. Maybe he's not doing high school this time around for one reason or another.

While one half of me was in panic-mode the other half of me was bemused. _Thought you were over that guy, didn't you?_ I guess not, at least not completely. I could feel my emotions getting all stirred up and the thrilled/joyful/hopeful feelings were right there along with the hurt/angry/sad feelings. Seemingly, I had unresolved issues. What in the hell was I going to do?

I guess I needed to warn the Cullens that someone from their past was here in Winchester and then I needed to…what? Make my own damn life? I was doing that, thank you very much. And I was doing that quite well, in my opinion. And then came the Cullens to disturb my hard won composure. Could I continue to do that with Edward's family nearby? Maybe even Edward himself. Lord, what a mess!

I decided my best choice would be to try to contact Carlisle. He would be the logical person for me to deal with – kind, compassionate, wise - and also it didn't hurt that he was the Dad. He would know how to handle this situation.

Most likely, Carlisle was working in the local hospital, so I looked his name up on the internet yellow pages and there he was: Carlisle Cullen, MD. I got out my cell phone and dialed the number that was listed and got his office assistant. I wasn't expecting to get through to him because you never got straight through to a doctor, did you? I should have known that Carlisle would be different. I was thinking of what sort of message to leave for him and was shocked when I next heard his mellifluous voice, "Dr. Cullen."

Gasping, I floundered for words, "Oh, Carlisle. I, er… didn't expect to speak directly to you…uh… well, this is…"

"Bella!" he answered, "Bella, how wonderful to hear your voice. I didn't think I'd ever have that pleasure again. How have you been?" He sounded wonderful, warm, and … loving. I realized in that moment that I missed being a part of his family not because of anything else other than the love I had for them. All of them.

"Oh…well…I…er… I have been… actually, I've been good, Carlisle. It's wonderful to hear your voice again, too. But I am calling for a different reason. I need to talk to you, Carlisle. It's important."

He didn't answer but I could tell he was listening closely.

"Carlisle, I don't know how to say this so, I'll just blurt it out. I've just moved to Winchester. I had no idea that you were here before I came. I am a new teacher at James Wood High School and I have Alice as a student in one of my classes. That's how I discovered you lived here now as well."

There was a pause and then Carlisle responded, "Of all the coincidences, this is a pretty amazing one."

"I'll say."

In a concerned voice, Carlisle asked, "Bella, how do you feel about this?"

"To tell you the truth, Carlisle, I am still in shock. It was a rough time for me after you left. But eventually, I picked up the pieces and moved on. However, I've still got very deep feelings for your family. I guess I always will. I don't know what to do."

I went on, "I noticed that … Edward doesn't appear as a student here."

"No, Bella. Edward isn't living with us at the moment."

I was baffled by this. Edward loved his family. "Is he well, Carlisle?"

Carlisle paused again and then answered simply, "He's safe."

I heard what he didn't say and my heart clenched. Edward may be safe physically but not well. I wonder what had happened.

Carlisle went on, "Bella, I know the family would love to see you again. Why don't you come over this evening? We can discuss what we can do about this situation then."

He gave me directions to the new Cullen home and we bid each other goodbye.

It was only after I hung up I wondered why Alice hadn't foreseen my coming back into their sphere. Can't she still _see_ me? I stopped, dead still, my hand extended to put the phone down as it dawned upon me that she _had_ seen me, hadn't she? Now that I thought about it, I understood just why Carlisle had taken my call so immediately. Alice had most likely seen that I was going to call. Truly, Carlisle sounded delighted and happy to hear from me but really not surprised. Interesting. They had something planned; I could feel it. I hoped that I would discover what they were up to this evening.

I finished up my work at school, went home, ate some dinner and then got ready to go to the Cullens'. I was excited and worried. I wasn't the Bella they remembered any longer. Back in Forks, I was an idealistic and naïve teenager. Now, I was older and wiser. My self-confidence made me stronger and more self-assured. I was a far cry from the timid child they'd remember.

I drove my truck down the country road following the directions that Carlisle gave me. It wasn't surprising to find their house was an antebellum mansion at the end of a gated tree lined drive - white columns and everything. Pulling up to the gates, I tried to figure out how they were activated when they slowly opened to let me in and then closed back behind me. I drove up the lane to the house marveling at just how lovely everything was. Eventually, I parked my truck in the circular driveway and got out. After all that had happened since I last saw them almost five years previously, I wondered if they still felt the same about me.

Suddenly, I was scooped up by strong arms and swung around in a circle.

"BELLA! I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

I blinked. I was half expecting Alice to respond enthusiastically but I was surprised to find I was clasped in Emmett's arms.

I laughed, "Emmett! It's good to see you, too!" I wriggled a bit, trapped in his grip. I gave up and gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek. He squeezed me again and then set me down on my feet.

"Come on. Everyone is excited to see you." I turned to join him as he walked up to the porch. Standing there was the whole clan with huge smiles on their faces…minus Edward.

Alice was dancing in her excitement, "Oh, Bella. We are together again at last!" She hugged me just as Esme joined her. If a vampire could have tears of happiness, Esme would. "Welcome home, Bella," was all she said but she put her hand on my shoulder and kept it there as the rest greeted me. Jasper was a little bashful, no doubt remembering our last interaction, but he smiled at me just as I felt a jolt of welcoming warmth. Even Rosalie was grinning.

They all looked as beautiful and stunning as ever and the old feelings of being out of my league were echoing in my brain. But that is just the camouflage, as Edward used to say. I knew now that under those gorgeous facades were people who had their faults and failings just as mere mortals did. I found I wasn't quite as dazzled as I used to be by them. Was that a factor of my own growth as a person? Nevertheless, I realized that I was very glad to see them just as they were, as they always had been.

Carlisle spoke up, "Bella, this reunion has been a long time coming. Please come in and let's catch up.'

The house was elegant and comfortable, certainly hallmarks of Esme's talent. The entrance had a grand wooden staircase that rose gracefully to the second floor. There was a beautiful crystal chandelier hanging from the apex of the hall and there were polished mahogany tables with lovely and fragrant cut flower arrangements on them. Carlisle led the way to a comfortable living room that had a huge marble fireplace along the far wall and overstuffed sofas and chairs grouped in front of it. Since it was summer, the fireplace contained a floral arrangement adding to the homey country charm.

We all sat and looked at each other for a moment, then Carlisle asked, "Bella, what have you been doing since we last met?"

I had thought about what I would tell them concerning my fall and recovery and decided not to dwell on the negative. If they were curious, I might expand but only if they asked.

"Well, after you left and I got used to the fact you were gone, I graduated from Forks High and went to college near my mother's home in Jacksonville. Last spring, I graduated and was lucky enough to be hired as an English teacher here. Honestly, I only discovered you lived here when I looked at my class lists and found Alice as one of my students. I checked to see if the rest of you were enrolled, then when I saw that you were – or almost all of you – I found Carlisle's work number and called him. The rest you know. I guess I am here to ask you what we should do about this."

"Do about this?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, do you think we could be in Winchester together? I've missed you. You are still like family to me. But if you think this is too much, I suppose I could resign my position and look for work elsewhere." I knew it would be hard to find another teaching job this late in the year but I would if that's what they wanted.

"No, no. That's not at all necessary," Carlisle exclaimed, "Perhaps we could move Alice from your class if you think having her as a student would be too difficult to manage but other than that, I think we could get a long quite nicely. In fact, we want you to be a part of our family again, Bella."

Wow. I really wasn't expecting that. There was a pretty large 'elephant' in the room that we'd talked around but not about and I thought it better be addressed.

"What about Edward?" I asked.

They looked uncomfortable at my blunt question.

"What do you want to know?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, for one, where is he?"

Sighing, Carlisle answered, "He is living in Alaska with our cousins."

Alice muttered, "If you could call it living."

I was confused by Alice's response. "I don't understand why he'd leave you. His family was the most important thing to him."

Esme pressed her lips together then said, "His family isn't the _most _important thing to him, Bella. You are."

"I once was, or so he said," I corrected her, "But that ended a long time ago."

"No, Bella," Alice contradicted. "Since he met you, you have always been the most important thing to him. That will never change."

I choked out a laugh, "Uhm. Right! If that was the case, why did he leave? He told me that he didn't want me in his life any longer. Why did _you_ leave for that matter?"

Jasper's soft voice interjected then, "No, Bella. He loves you now as much as he ever did if not more. He left because he loved you so much. After the incident when I regrettably lost my self-control, he felt that you deserved to live a normal human life without the constant dangers associated by living near us. He left you out of love for _you_ and he asked us to leave for the same reason. Some of us didn't agree with him but we owed it to him for all times he sacrificed for us."

I stared at Jasper with what I know must have been a 'you're kidding me' face but I didn't say anything. I just couldn't believe it. "Well then, excuse me for saying this but I am ticked. He – well, all of you - deserted me and caused a lot of agony. I was able to put myself back together but the process," I paused remembering the pain I had felt, "was difficult."

I heard Jasper gasp and I realized he could feel the emotions emanating from me. I shot him an apologetic grimace but he remained looking stunned. "Oh Bella," he said. "We owe you a huge apology. I know that we followed along with Edward in this but you were a part of our family, too. We should have never abandoned you."

Carlisle agreed, "No, it is clear to us all now that we shouldn't have left. But I am thinking, Bella, you did what you have always done, made the best out of a bad situation. It is apparent to me that you have matured into a confident and wise young woman. I feel your strength. I am very proud of you. "

I smiled shyly, surprisingly pleased at Carlisle's praise, as I paused to find the words I needed to say, "This is going to sound strange but even with all the agony I went through, it ended up being a good thing for me that you left, to be honest. I needed to learn to be strong and independent. I needed to figure out who I was without using my relationships to define myself. This is what I did since you've been gone and I know I am better for it. However, the Cullen family is important to me still, even though Edward is not here. I would like to be a part of your family but I don't think that's possible. How will Edward take our reconnection?"

They exchanged sheepish glances.

"Bella," Alice said, "Edward has not been doing as well as you. He's stubborn, clinging to his remorse and guilt. He lives in Denali with Kate, Tanya and Irina but all he does is to sit in his room, only occasionally going out to hunt. Tanya says she doesn't see him for weeks at a time."

"He's done nothing but mope for five years?" I asked incredulously.

All of them chorused, "Yes."

"Well, then someone needs to go kick his butt. He's being ridiculous," I declared.

"Amen, sista!" Emmett chortled in delight, "It's what I've been sayin'!"

Carlisle also chuckled and said, "We all agree. Edward's always been on the dramatic side. We'd like you to help us, if you're willing."

"What can I do?" I looked around in surprise.

Carlisle said, "We'd like to fly you to Denali to talk to him."

I was well and truly shocked, "Huh?"

"Bella, we've been trying for a long time to get Edward back to the land of the living. He won't listen to us," Carlisle said.

"Yep. The emo jerk is caught up in the biggest self-imposed pity party ever thrown," Emmett said. "He thinks he ruined your life and keeps beating himself up. I want my brother back."

"As we all do," said Jasper. "We've hired a private jet to take you to Anchorage, Bella. Then it's just a short hop to Denali. Tanya and her sisters are waiting for you."

"You have had this plan for a long time," I said suspiciously.

There were more guilty looks then Carlisle explained, "To be completely frank with you Bella, we've kept a watch on you since we left Forks. No matter what happened, you were and are always a part of our family. We wanted to make sure you were safe and well. We grieved with you in the beginning but we became very proud of you when you overcame your loss and started to live life on your own terms. It is our fervent hope that you can convince Edward to do the same. I think if he sees how you've bloomed, he'll stop moping."

I thought hard about this proposition. Could I handle seeing Edward again? Yes, I was older and wiser but I knew I still had feelings for him. I wondered if seeing him would revitalize them or make me realize that I've out grown him as I had outgrown my high school skinny jeans. But I did understand if anyone could convince Edward to come back to his family and start living again, it would be me. It was the least I could do for him and for his family.

"I'll do it. When do I leave?"

"Right now?" Carlisle suggested.

* * *

**Chapter 3 Rescue Me**

* * *

I drove back to my house to get warmer clothes, knowing that it was already chilly in Denali. The jet was going to fly overnight to Anchorage and then I'd arrive in Denali by eight am. Emmett was going with me saying he was going to be my body guard. I laughed, thinking he was teasing but later, I figured out that's exactly what he meant. No one was sure if my blood would be too much of a temptation for Edward since we'd been so long apart.

It wasn't until I was strapped into my seat on the jet and we had taxied down the runway did I realize what I had done. It was past time that I thought about this. Was I truly ready to face Edward again after all these years? How did I feel about Edward now? Did I still love him?

The minute I thought those words, my heart leapt and I knew that I did love him. I knew that I would always love him. But I now was wise enough to know that loving someone wasn't enough to make a life with them.

Did I want to share my life with someone else?

Perhaps.

Did I _need_ to share my life with someone else?

Definitely, no. I didn't need anyone.

But did I _want_ someone?

That was different. Life is fuller when it can be shared but it has to be shared equally.

Did I _want _to share my life with Edward Cullen?

Maybe, but not under the terms we left each other.

When he left, he'd told me that he had lost interest in me; that he was tired of being someone he wasn't. If he was lying then, as his family suggested, he may not realize that what he said was perfectly true. No one should pretend to be someone they weren't. But did he even know who he was? I certainly didn't know that about myself on that day.

I understood now what I didn't understand five years ago. The fact is, while Edward may have been born in 1901, he was still the same person he was in 1918 when he was changed. His heart and his psyche had been frozen in time until he discovered he was in love with me. At that magical instant, he rediscovered feelings and emotions that had been dormant since he was 17.

Surrounded by the luxury of the private jet that was speeding me towards this frozen man/boy, I realized a home truth: I had no interest in becoming the significant other of a seventeen year old boy. I wanted a mature and responsible man. The question is, while I was sure Edward could grow into being that man, was he? Was he once again trapped, doomed to be ever at the mercy of being seventeen?

For the past five years he'd purposely put his life on pause again and that was a pity. It was something a seventeen year old would do. Whether or not this intervention would bring us back together, I loved him enough to try to help him learn what I had learned. It was my passionate wish that he could change for his own happiness, not necessarily mine. While my stomach was doing flip-flops, I knew that whatever the result, I would find much needed closure with this trip. And maybe, just maybe, in the process I could rescue Edward from himself.

The flight to Anchorage was extremely comfortable and uneventful. I slept most of the night and felt rested as we met up with the little prop plane that would take us to Denali. I was grateful that the Cullens had the ability to smooth all bumps in any road. Emmett and I chatted companionably for a few hours during the flight. He told me that after leaving Forks, the family moved to Canada where they lived for five years. They decided to move to Virginia last year. Carlisle easily got a position as an ER doctor and Esme was free lancing her restoration business and volunteering on the school board. I paused at that point, "Esme is on the school board?"

"Sort of. She's a consultant or something for Human Resources."

"Hmmm. And it was such a coincidence that just this past year, Frederick County Public Schools, headquartered in Winchester, Virginia, decided to recruit at little ol' Flagler College in Florida for the first time, wasn't it?"

Emmett shrugged his shoulders, "What can I say, Little Sis? We wanted you to be a part of us with or without Emoward. We just presented the opportunity for you to come to Winchester. We figured that if you came here, it was fated to be. You always had a choice."

I shrugged, "I guess you're right."

Emmett looked at me speculatively, "Do you think you would have come if you knew we were in Winchester, Bella?"

I sighed, "I honestly don't know."

I thought about it a little and said, "You know, I am glad I didn't know so I didn't have to make that choice. I like it in Winchester. I like my little home. I like my job. And I love you guys. So, all in all I am glad it worked out like it did. After thinking about it, I believe that if I had known you were here, I probably wouldn't have moved here. But now that I am here and have this opportunity, I am glad. No matter what, Emmett, I need to see Edward and he needs to see me. It will help both of us."

After landing in Denali, Emmett and I were approached on the tarmac by a strikingly beautiful strawberry blonde woman, "Hello, Emmett!" Turning to me she said, "You must be Bella?"

"I am," I responded.

In what I learned was Tanya's no nonsense approach, she said, "I am Tanya. I am so glad you're here. Edward needs you."

My heart did a somersault this time. Emmett laughed and picked up my small suitcase. "Let's go get 'im, girl."

On the ride to the cabin, Tanya was telling us about Edward's life during the past several years. "He's pathetic. He only comes out of his room to hunt and then only after his thirst has become excruciating. He won't talk to anyone. Not even a hello or goodbye. It's like he's on…."

"…autopilot?" I finished.

"Yes. Exactly!" Tanya exclaimed, "How did you know?"

"Because I went through that, as well." I said, "I probably still would be if it hadn't been for someone helping me to face reality."

Twenty minutes later, Tanya pulled over to the side of the road and asked Emmett to get out of the SUV. "If Edward hears your mind, he may run off before we could get Bella to see him. Give us a five minute head start. Bella, Edward just got back from hunting a few hours ago so he isn't hungry. You should be safe with him. His room is at the top of the stairs, first room on the left. Just open the door and go in. I'll be right behind you in the hallway."

"And I'll be right behind Tanya. We aren't sure if after being away from you for so long whether Brother Eddie can resist your blood. I am here to see that no harm comes to you. Good luck, Bella," Emmett called as they drove away.

Tanya turned into a dirt road that led to a huge cabin nestled against a spruce forest. I looked at Tanya in surprise as she started to sing a song in Russian at the top of her voice. Then it dawned on me that Tanya was trying to block Edward from reading her mind.

We pulled into a garage and I quietly followed Tanya into the house. Off the main room, there were stairs leading up to the second floor. I headed towards them, getting progressively more nervous about what was to come. I honestly had no idea what to say to Edward now but I was absolutely compelled to see him. I took a deep breath trying to relax but my heart still felt like it was going to beat right through my chest.

Later, I realized that he must have smelled my blood or heard my heart pounding away long before I ever reached the top of the stairs. Sneaking up on him was never an option. Before I could react, a door flew open and Edward was standing there on the landing, stone still and staring at me.

I stopped half-way up and stared back, a hesitant smile on my face, "Edward?"

He was his same glorious self but dark circles under his eyes made his face look haggard. At this moment he looked shocked, as if a dream had materialized. Suddenly, he was a blur and I was scooped up and rushed back up the stairs into his bedroom. The door slammed behind us.

"Uh… Edward? What are you doing?"

He put me gently down on my feet, grasping my shoulders and looking at me as if he couldn't believe I was there. I was astounded at the raw emotion filling his eyes and his face. He silently drew me into his arms and held me closely, as he used to long ago, my head nestled onto his chest, his nose buried into my hair, inhaling my scent. He let out a long, shuddering sigh, "Bella."

My emotions were all over the place. I was intoxicated by his smell and felt the hard planes of his chest as I listened to his deep breaths. I remembered this. I remembered how good, how right this felt. I felt that the final missing piece in my own personal million piece jig saw puzzle had finally snapped into perfect place. I lifted my head and kissed him gently at first but as he returned my kiss it exploded into that familiar brand of Edward and Bella fireworks. It was pure heaven. Every molecule of my body responded to him and fires raced through my veins consuming all doubt and uncertainty. I was rocked to my core.

We stood like that for long moments just relishing the feel of each other, simply basking in the essence of the moment. But soon my physical bliss started to ebb as I began to recall everything that had happened over the course of our relationship and separation and I sighed. The time had come for healing.

Taking a deep breath and smiling lovingly, I placed my hands on either side of his face, stared deeply into his golden eyes and in the gentlest, sweetest voice said, "Why are you being such an emo little bitch, Edward?"

* * *

**Chapter 4: Heart to Heart**

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***BPOV

I didn't hear the door swing open but I did hear Emmett's uproarious laughter as I saw him standing next to Tanya in the doorway. "She's got you pegged, brother. It's time to stop all this horse shit and come home."

Edward stood there, a look of utter amazement on his face. Ignoring Emmett he said, "Bella, how can you say that?" His voice sounded gravely, as if he hadn't used it in a while.

"I can say that because you are sitting up here like a hermit when your life is out there." I gestured outside of the house southwards, "What's wrong with you?"

Edward hung his head, "I ruined your life."

I choked back a snort. "Thank you, oh all-knowing Oracle. I'll have you know my life isn't ruined one bit. I have a very good life."

Edward looked torn and I relented. Turning to Emmett and Tanya, I said, "Would it be okay if Edward and I had some privacy for a bit? We have a few things we need to get straighten out."

I paused and looked at Edward, a question in my voice, "We'll be fine?" He was the best judge of his hunger.

Edward nodded, "My thirst is under control."

Emmett looked from me to Edward and back, "Okay then, we'll be downstairs. I will see what I can pull in from the satellite on their TV. Scream if you need me, Bella." Laughing at his own bad joke, he and Tanya turned and went downstairs.

I pulled Edward over to a sofa that was pushed up against the far wall. We sat and I looked around at his self-imposed prison cell. In contrast to his bedroom in Forks which was full of books, music and a television, this one had hardly anything in it. Besides the couch, there was a desk and chair with a lamp and nothing else. "Edward what have you been doing for the last five years?"

Edward leaned over, put his elbows on his knees and then put his head in his hands, "Grieving."

"Oh, Edward. That's a long time to mourn over something that isn't dead," I put a comforting hand on his back and gently rubbed it up and down.

"I thought I killed any love you had for me by the lies I told," Edward whispered.

"Lies? What lies, Edward?" I frowned at him.

"The lies I told when I left you. When I told you that I didn't want you, didn't love you anymore. They were worse kind of blasphemy. How could you ever believe that I didn't love you?"

"Oh Edward, I so easily believed you because I was so lacking in myself at the time. I was insecure and inexperienced. I tied up my whole existence around you and that was a mistake."

The next part was going to be hard to say. "I had a break down after you left, Edward. I didn't know how I was going to go on. So, I had my own little hissy-fit thinking my life, my world was over."

I heard his shuddering gasp and reached over to grasp his hand trying to reassure him. "But much to my shock, it wasn't. My life still went on. Eventually, I snapped out of it and I've found joy in living again, Edward. And honestly, I am here to thank you."

Edward lifted his head and turned astonished eyes to mine, "Thank me?"

"Yes_. Thank_ _You_. You unknowingly gave me the time and the space I needed to become the woman I am supposed to be. I was so unfinished and naïve when I was 18. I had so much to learn and I didn't know it. I think that if I had gotten what I wanted –to be changed to a vampire back then – it really wouldn't have been an informed choice. It certainly wouldn't be a mature choice. I had no clue. All I knew is that I wanted – no, _needed_ – to be with you.

"When you took yourself and your family away from me, I learned that what I believed wasn't true. I learned something amazing. I don't _need _you. I don't really need anyone. All I need is myself. I needed to discover who Bella Swan was independent of my relationships."

His face was a myriad of emotions: love, hurt, pain, desire, confusion. The most predominant one was confusion, "Bella, you don't need me anymore?"

With a gentle look and a squeeze of his hand, I responded, "Edward, no. I don't _need_ you. You have to understand, w_anting_ you is so much better. Wanting you means that I chose you - a choice I consciously make. _Needing_ you is more like an addiction – something I am driven to have.

"My body - my heart, for that matter - is responding to you with utter joy. But I am not the same Bella in here," I tapped my head, "that I was five years ago. You may not like the new Bella. After you get to know her, it is _you_ that may not want _me_."

It was Edward's turn to snort, "Bella, I can't imagine any scenario where I'd not want you."

"You are speaking with your heart, Edward. I want you to now think with your mind. I want you to get to know me, who I am. Then decide. And I need to do the same concerning you."

Edward rose and started pacing, "I know who you are Bella. You are brave and beautiful and kind and loving."

"That's how you painted me five years ago. I told you then that wasn't who I was. I was a little girl who was lonely and felt rejected and wanted desperately to please and make people happy so she could feel loved. I met you and you seemed to be the pinnacle of everything a man should be when what you really were was a lost and lonely little boy trapped in a reality that you didn't choose and bound by guilt that you didn't know how to expiate. I am not that girl any longer, Edward. And you don't have to be that boy. It's a choice."

"But vampires rarely change."

"Rarely doesn't mean never. This is a change you can make if it's what you want, Edward." I continued, my voice lowered to a whisper, "If you want to share my life, it's a change you have to make."

The pain in Edward's eyes faded just a bit and was replaced by a hopeful glimmer, "You don't think I'll ruin your life?"

I rose and stood in face to face with Edward, "No. Barring you killing me," I grinned to show I was kidding, "you don't have that power."

His golden eyes were piercing in their intensity, "Bella, do you still love me?"

"Of course I love you Edward. I will always love you, no matter what." I smiled back at him and watched his eyes darken a shade as he reached for me again, "But…"

"But?" he stopped.

"But, I am not sure loving you is enough to build a life together, Edward."

"I thought that love was all that mattered."

"If you really believed that, Edward, you'd have never left me in the first place. No, love isn't enough. There has to also be respect and a willingness to work to make a life together, an equal opportunity partnership, Edward. We didn't have that before. Maybe you had to work so hard on keeping your thirst under control there wasn't room for that kind of relationship. But, Edward, that's the kind of relationship I want. Can I have it with you? "

Edward stood, still as stone and stared at me as if I was speaking Sanskrit. I wasn't sure he exactly comprehended me but I was sure he'd remember every word I had said and put it all together eventually. It was time to let him figure out what he really wanted.

I reached up and kissed Edward on the lips but this was more of a goodbye kiss than a let's get busy one.

I stepped back and said, "What you have to decide now, Edward, is if you want to join me in living. I am going back to Winchester, to my life. If this is what you want, come to me. If it isn't, God Bless you, Edward, but I am moving on."

I turned, walked out of the room and down the stairs leaving a dumbstruck vampire staring after me in utter and complete shock.

I followed the sound of the television until I found Emmett stretched out on a sectional sofa. "Come on, Emmett. Let's go home."

I half expected Edward to run after us as we pulled out of the compound, but he didn't. Then, I kept looking behind myself at the Denali Airstrip. No Edward there either. I finally accepted that he wasn't coming as Emmett and I took off from Anchorage.

"Oh, Emmett, I hope I didn't screw this up," I groaned.

"Bella, that dude is as stubborn as they come. I think just seeing you again jolted him out of his rut. It will take him some time to figure this out. You told him what he needed to hear. Now it is up to him."

Emmett's calm was contagious and I settled down determined to carry on and do what I needed to do. I reached into my bag and pulled out some work I was preparing for the first day of school that _was_ coming, whether Edward was or not.

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Choice**

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*** EPOV

I stared at the space where Bella had been, hearing her words echo in my mind. _"Five years is a long time to mourn for something that isn't dead, Edward."_

It was as if I had been doused in a cascade of ice water, the fog of misery I had been in was swept away and I was awake for the first time in years.

I remembered coming back from my hunt today after long weeks had passed and I was finally driven out again to relieve my thirst. I returned to the cabin not seeing or hearing my housemates and figured the rest had yet to return from whatever activities they spent their days doing. I didn't know what they did. I didn't care. They had long ago stopped trying to encourage me to join them.

I took my place in front of the floor to ceiling windows staring off into space trying to let my mind spin away, floating in an eternal ocean of grief, pain, shame and longing. In the background of my agony, I heard the roar of one of the SUVs the Denali clan used driving down the long lane that led to the cabin. Stifling a snort of surprise, I heard Tanya's voice singing a bawdy Russian song as the SUV neared the attached garage. I could also hear a heartbeat. Tanya must be entertaining one of her human lovers today. I sighed, blocked out her singing and then let my mind float again.

As I drifted, I disinterestedly heard the door open from the garage into the main house and felt the draft that accompanied it.

I gasped and my eyes opened wide in shock. Like a wrecking ball, a battering ram _her _familiar scent hit me. _Bella!_ My breathing turned raspy and every emotion I had ever had ripped through my soul, - desire, need, love, hate, joy, peace, happiness, grief – Bella!

Before I knew I moved, I was across the room, had thrown open the door and saw the object of my every thought for more than five years ascending the stairs towards me, with Tanya following protectively behind her.

If I could splinter into a million pieces I would have in the moment she lifted her eyes to mine and heard her breathe my name. Every atom of my body sizzled with joy – Bella, Bella, Bella!

Quicker than thinking I rushed to her, swept her into my arms and then returned to my room - my lair - wanting my adored one all to myself and all alone. I set Bella down on her feet, her scent perfuming the room with its loveliness. She was here! She was here!

I couldn't help myself, I gathered her into my embrace so that she'd fit into the holes in my soul as she always had. I buried my face into her luscious hair and inhaled deeply. Bella, Bella, Bella.

If I could sob, I would have. She was such a balm to my soul, such an antidote to my overwhelming need. To my utter delight, she leaned back, lifted her face, and placed her sweet lips against mine, wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me closely to her. The conflagration that erupted between us was a welcome relief and I melted into her kiss. The way she returned my kiss told me more than words could have – that she still desired me and loved me, too. We were finally, after too long apart, home at last. We were whole.

Too soon, she pulled away and I looked down into her chocolate brown eyes – had they become more dear in the intervening years?—with complete adoration. She was my world. She was my everything.

She opened her sweet lips and in the sweetest and most tender tone she asked, "Why are you being such an emo little bitch, Edward?"

Shock wasn't good enough to describe the feeling that I was drowning in now – more like dumbfounded astonishment. I was aware that Emmett was there and had said something typically Emmett-like. I ignored him. I stepped back from Bella, my eyes widened in hurt and disbelief, "Bella, how can you say that?" And then she spoke, she explained what I refused to see. The more Bella said, the more I realized that I had missed what should have been the whole point in our relationship.

"_Do you still love me, Bella?" I asked in desperation. _

"_Of course I love you, Edward. I will always love you, no matter what."_

And ultimately she gave me a choice.

It was then that I realized what a complete idiot I'd been. I'd been so wrapped up in my pity party that I had forgotten that Bella had a say in our relationship, in our history, as well as I did. The problem was, I never allowed her a say. I was so bull-headedly wrapped up in my own angst and worry that I never gave _her_ a choice. Our relationship had to be on my terms and her desires and decisions were summarily brushed off. I had been so unfair and stupid.

Bella was too inexperienced when we first met that she couldn't find her voice. She went along with my every action, rarely protesting, putting up with all my idiocy simply because she wanted to be with me under any terms – any terms at all – no matter what it did to her own sense of self.

My error was huge. It was a stubborn refusal to grow and to let Bell have some control. I was so busy beating myself up, so worried about what _might _happen, I failed to realize what I was doing to myself and to our relationship. My attitude had stunted my growth and almost strangled any hope for a good relationship.

Wise Bella had learned from our experience. I didn't. She told me I could either continue to be ensnared in these feelings of guilt, fear and shame and be eternally seventeen or let them go so that I could finally become the man I was destined to be.

But how was I to do that? I could never go back to Bella until I had a definite plan on how to make something out of my existence. She deserved more than the man I was now. I needed guidance and wisdom. I needed the example of a life already being lived as it should. I needed Carlisle.

I decided to find one of my cousins, so I went downstairs to the great room and saw Tanya curled up on a sofa. She looked up in surprise from the book she was reading, "Edward!"

"Hello, Tanya." I stood there uncomfortably for a moment then said, "I apologize for being so unfriendly since coming here. I know I've been a burden and I thank you for the kindness and support you have given me, none the less."

"It's fine, Edward. We understood what you were going through. Dare I hope that you've decided to join us now?"

"I am ready for a change, Tanya, and I know I don't deserve your patience. I am not sure I know exactly what I am going to do but I think I need to see Carlisle. Do you have a phone I could use?"

"I think I have something better than that." Tanya walked over to a cabinet, opened the door and pulled out a box. "This is for you, Edward. Alice sent it."

Shaking my head, I'd forgotten what it was like having Alice the Psychic for a sister and took the box up to my room. When I opened it I found, much to my amusement, a new set of clothes –trust Alice to make sure I looked stylish - , my updated driver's license and a fully charged iPhone with pertinent numbers already in the contact list. Flicking through the screens, I was amazed. Technology had sure rocketed ahead while I was gone.

I returned to the contact list and scrolled down to see what numbers Alice thought I needed. I saw one for each member of the family. "Cullen, Alice. Cullen, Carlisle. Cullen, Emmett. Cullen, Esme. Hale, Jasper. Hale, Rosalie. And then, there it was: Swan, Bella. I was so tempted to call her first but I knew I had nothing to tell her. I couldn't impose upon her until I could demonstrate I was the man she wanted. I was determined to be that man.

I touched Carlisle's name and soon was hearing the number going through. I heard Carlisle pick up the call.

"Carlisle, it's Edward. I want to come home."

My homecoming was joyous for the Cullen clan. Once I was able to recognize that the biggest whip I was flaying myself with was actually non-existent, I remembered the happiness that I found being with my family. I cursed myself for wasting even a few of my years in self-imposed damnation. Esme saved a room for me in the new house and moved the belongings I'd left behind in Forks into my current quarters. She added an extra touch, I noticed; specifically, a king sized bed. I'd never had a bed before since becoming a vampire. Why should I? I never slept. I had no lover. There was no use for such an unnecessary piece of furniture.

I stared at the bed, then turned to Esme and Carlisle who had shown me to my room. I didn't say anything, just quirked my eyebrow with a questioning look. Esme hurriedly explained, "We thought that you may want a bed now, Edward." She didn't continue with her explanation and I decided to leave it at that. If everything worked out well, I would have a need for that bed, I hoped. I smiled to think of it. But everything had to work out first.

"Carlisle, I want to talk to you about something."

"Of course, Edward. Let's go to my study where we can be comfortable." Carlisle led the way to a mahogany paneled room lined floor to ceiling with bookcases. Though in a new setting, I saw many familiar pieces that followed the Cullen family where ever they found themselves. There were the paintings that told the story of Carlisle's life. Against the window was the huge polished wood desk with embossed leather insets. In front of the dormant fireplace were the comfortable leather chairs arranged in front of the dormant fireplace.

Carlisle took a seat in one chair and indicated that I should take the other. We sat there for a moment staring at each other, Carlisle's fingers steepled in front of his face.

_I'm ready when you are son,_ Carlisle thought.

I really didn't know where to start and Carlisle must have sensed my hesitancy because he said, "We sent Bella to you, Edward."

"Why?"

"Edward, we love you and hated to see you in such despair. We knew the only one who could help you was Bella, the very person you were despairing over."

I sighed and stared down at my hands, "It was such a shock to see her. She is even more beautiful than I remembered and it overwhelmed me. I held her in my arms and it was as if all my grief fell away. I don't want that pain anymore. It was a waste of my time, I see now. Useless."

"Edward, if you learned from it, then it wasn't useless."

"I learned more in the last few days than I have in a century, I think. Bella admitted to me that she still loved me but she didn't want to share her life with me unless I learned the same lessons that she had over the past five years. She told me that I had spent my life in grief and regret and I needed to move on from that. The problem is, Carlisle, I don't know how."

Carlisle gently smiled and shook his head, "Edward you've just made the first two steps: You found you needed to change and now you are seeking to change."

I shrugged. I didn't know what to think. "What do I need to do now, Carlisle?"

Carlisle rose from his chair and walked over to the portrait gallery hanging on the wall that told the story of his life. He pointed to one picture. It was a painting done right after Carlisle left the Volturi and sailed to the New World. It was a primitive water color of Boston during revolutionary times; a young city, growing steadily and weaning itself from the mother land.

"When I left Europe, I was determined to make a life for myself that meant something. I would not feed off of humans but that wasn't enough. I needed to make the best out of what I was given and I had an amazing resource at my disposal: time. Since that is seemingly infinite, there was much I could learn and then take what I learned and actually help the human race. I had been cursorily studying medicine for decades but it was in Boston that I began in earnest to be a doctor. The Boston State Hospital was in desperate need of skilled physicians but there weren't many to be had. I apprenticed myself to Jeremiah McGregor, a Scottish physician, who had rare knowledge in those days. He taught me the rudimentary basics of modern medicine and I've built off of that foundation ever since.

"It has given me great satisfaction to be able to contribute to the world, Edward. Perhaps that is what you need to do. Find your passion. Use it to improve the world. It will give your existence meaning and purpose. I think that is what Bella was trying to tell you."

"But what's my passion?" I asked.

Carlisle rose and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, "I can't tell you that, Edward. You'll have to discover that for yourself."

I spent several days contemplating what Carlisle told me. What was my passion? Why Bella, of course. I chuckled to myself. I knew that the passion I felt for her wasn't the same as finding a calling – a vocation. What was I called to do? Not to kill humans. That was one thing. But what else? I was an accomplished pianist but how could that lead to something that would help humanity? I could be a doctor like Carlisle but, truly, I wasn't interested enough in medicine to devote my eternity to it. I could read minds but short of becoming a professional poker player, I wasn't sure how that could used to help others.

I needed someone to talk to about this and there was only one person I could: Bella.


	2. Chapter 2 Chapter 6-10

**Chapter 6: Chapter 6 The Letter**

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**AN: Thank you all of you who have read this and have put it on story alert. That really makes me happy.**

**Disclaimer: The characters and premise and The Twilight Saga is the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer. I just borrowed her characters for a bit.**

**Chapter Six: The Letter**

BPOV

Eight days. I had been home from Denali eight days and, thankfully, my every waking moment was spent immersed in my teaching career. School had begun and I was extremely busy planning, teaching, and working with my students. The Book Club had its first meeting and I was thrilled with the turn out. I loved what I was doing. It left me happy and satisfied.

But when I had a moment to myself, my mind always went back to the same thing: What will Edward do?

Seeing him again resurrected the feelings I had for him, feelings I had buried away years ago out of a sense of self-preservation. I suppose that is how I had coped. I figuratively boxed up and packed away the "Edward Stuff", and shoved it aside and proceeded to get on with the rest of my life. I am not saying that the rest of my life was diminished in anyway by this, it's just that it was one part of me I hadn't wanted to deal with so I just ignored it. Was I brave enough to examine it, now? I had no choice. At least now I knew how to cope if things still turned out crappy.

I had expected to hear from Edward long before now, though. In the old days, he couldn't stay away from me; an hour's separation was too long. Maybe the fact that he wasn't acting as if it was the old days was a good sign. Or it could be a terrible sign. I just didn't know. My heart and my mind kept going back and forth between the two outcomes and the suspense was killing me. I hoped he didn't take forever to communicate with me. I'd settle for a simple phone call. One way or the other, I needed to know.

I came home on the eighth day, after working for half a day in my classroom, to find an envelope in my mail box. It wasn't sent in the mail because there was no stamp or post mark and no address. Besides, it was Sunday – no mail delivery anyway. On the outside was simply written "**Miss Isabella M. Swan**." I recognized Edward's beautiful penmanship.

I rushed into my home throwing my school bag down on the floor as I clutched the letter to my heart. I was distinctly fearful. Edward could be writing me to tell me he wasn't coming back. Or that he was. I just simply didn't know what was on his mind.

There was only one way to find out: get out the bottle of merlot, a box of tissues and open the letter. I sat down in the hand-me-down rocker Renee had given me that I put in pride of place next to the hearth in the living room. I put the wine and tissues within easy reach. On second thought, I took a gulp of the wine to fortify myself from whatever was in that letter. I slowly slit open the envelope to find several closely written sheets from Edward within. Taking a deep breath, I read.

**Dear Bella,**

**Forgive me for taking so long to communicate with you after your brave journey to see me last week. I know you are thinking that I am exaggerating; that you were not brave, but I must disagree. You showed much courage in facing past heart-ache and an uncertain and possibly hostile welcome in order to save me. **

**Yes, you saved me. I never realized how lost I was until that day. I will treasure every word you said because each one beat against the wall of misery I had erected around myself until it crumbled and I saw myself honestly, for the first time in my existence. **

**My entire vampiric life has been spent, as you said, as a "lonely boy trapped in a reality that I did not choose and bound by guilt that I did not know how to expiate." You were more right than you realized. Even after I met you, I still suffered with guilt; its burden colored my every thought, my every deed. I did not realize I was taking entirely too much blame upon myself. I thought that if I could control every aspect of our relationship, I could protect you from the harm I feared I would inflict upon you. I felt so undeserving of you; you an angel, and me the vilest demon. The pall of my self-abhorrence contaminated our relationship, hardly fostering the environment that we needed for a healthy, loving bond.**

**You need to understand why I did this to myself.**

**Soon after I was changed, I realized that the superhuman power that comes with being a vampire is a great cross to bear. Its power can quickly go to one's head. I found myself with the ability to play God, deciding who deserved to live and die. In my self-righteous and self-indulgent vampiric youth, I justified murder by only culling the evildoers from the human population. It was many years later I realized this was an excuse to indulge my bloodlust more than it was a thirst for justice. **

**By taking the lives of these people, I was denying them the possibility of finding their own redemption. I sentenced them to hell before they had truly reached their personal judgment day, and I realized that was the ultimate evil. **

**For the 80 years since, I have not taken a human life but the guilt from when I did tainted my every action. Your forthright speech snapped me out of my self-crucifixion and allowed me to objectively examine myself for the first time in decades. I realized in that moment, that wallowing in self-hatred became as evil as my original misdeeds. I was compounding my sin by wasting my existence. **

**I will always regret the lives I took but now it is time to move on from that, let go of the guilt, and start doing something positive with my time by creating an honorable life.**

**After that realization, it was if a million pounds were lifted from my shoulders and I felt freer than I'd ever felt in my existence. I owe this all to you. Thank you. If, as time reveals, you are destined only to be from my past rather than also from my future, I will still thank you. You reminded me to live instead of exist.**

**Bella, after all my ruminations and revelations over the past two weeks, there are two things I am absolutely positive about: I deserve an honorable existence and I will always love you. **

**Edward**

Now, it was _two _weeks since I made the trip to Denali to wake Edward up from his self imposed nightmare. It had been five days since I received his letter; its impact still had me gasping. It was more than I'd ever hoped for in terms of Edward's well being. It seemed to me that he finally was seeing his life for what it truly was and not the biased, self-loathing one he'd devised for himself. If nothing further ever came from my intrepid visit to Alaska, this was enough. Edward was healing. He had finally freed himself of his self-condemnation and grief.

I hadn't heard anything more from him and I was worried but this time I was worried for myself. His letter never indicated where he would settle or what he would do. I saw Alice everyday in my classroom but we were strictly abiding by an agreement we made the day before school started. Alice and I were going to have a strict teacher/student relationship in public. That carried through to my own personal concerns about Edward and his where abouts. The letter had been hand delivered but that meant nothing. He could have come to deliver the letter and, having said what he needed to say, left again.

If he had returned to his family, he hadn't enrolled in school. I was thankful for that. I didn't know how I'd react seeing him on campus. And certainly if everything went well I couldn't "take up" with a student at my high school. That was completely wrong. Maybe he decided I wasn't worth the effort and he wouldn't come back or if he did, he wouldn't want me. Those thoughts hurt.

His letter told me that he had finally broken free of his prison. Now, what was he going to do with his liberty?

I sat at my kitchen table grading papers. I was truly enjoying my job. The students were fun and eager and I was in heaven working with them. My teaching methods seemed to be going over well. I strove to weave current events into the history that I was teaching. I believed it made what happened in the past more relevant and I was pleased that my students were able to make those connections. I had given a test that day and was pleased with the scores.

I asked a bonus question at the end of the assessment: "What do you consider the most significant current event that happened this week and why?" It was fun to read what my students thought was of critical importance to their world. Did J.R. Campbell really believe that Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s defection from his NASCAR sponsor would impact the world? Chuckling, I put his paper aside and turned to the last one. Alice Cullen. I knew that she would have the most unique opinions about everything. Instead, her bonus question answer was only five words long, "Edward came home to stay."

My physical response to that simple sentence was amazing. My heart sped up. A sweat broke out. My face flushed and I even felt tickles down _there_. _Holy mackerel_. I was still crazy about the guy. My rational side was pretty pissed at this reaction and that side was giving my visceral side a stern lecture about how I can't let a pretty face talk me into a situation that I knew was bad for me. At least it would be bad for me if Edward's letter didn't reflect the growth I needed him to have before we picked up the pieces of our former relationship.

I packed up my school papers, glad to be finished with it early in the weekend. I had a burst of energy and I had to get moving. Thinking about Edward just wound me up. I spent the next hour and a half scrubbing, polishing and vacuuming my modest little home. Looking around, I was pleased with how cozy it was with a few hand me downs from Mom and some lucky garage sale finds. It was my first home on my own and I felt pretty damn proud of it.

I decided it was time for a relaxing bath and so I went upstairs, plugged my iPod into its dock and dialed up "moody girl music" on my play list. I lit the candles in my old fashioned bathroom, ran the water in the claw-footed tub and added some bubble bath. Stripping off my clothes, I pinned my hair up on my head, grabbed my cell phone (I hated to get out of the bath to answer a call), and got my latest bit of paperback literary fluff and settled down for a long soak in the most wonderful bathtub I'd ever used. I sighed. Sheer bliss.

I wasn't in the tub for two minutes when my cell rang. I looked at the unfamiliar number, shrugged and answered it, "Hello?"

There was a pause and then, "Bella?"

Oh, that velvet voice. My body was instantly aquiver.

"Edward," I breathed.

"I want to take you up on your offer."

My heart was pounding, "And that was…?" I wanted to hear him tell me in his own words.

"I want you to help me to become the man I should be."

It was exactly what I wanted to hear on so many levels. I grasped the phone tightly and choked up a bit, "Edward, I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"Just hearing your voice helps me, Bella. But I would love to see you, too. I was wondering if I could ask you on a date?"

I was sure my grin would split my face in two, "I would be delighted to go out on a date with you, Mr. Cullen. What did you have in mind?"

"Whatever you would like to do, Bella. Dinner? Dancing? A movie? I just want to spend time with you."

I chuckled, "It would be a weird sort of dinner date, with only me eating and all the wait staff hitting on you. We've done that before. No, thank you. And Dancing? Surely you haven't forgotten that dancing and I don't mix? A movie might be nice. But what would you say to just coming over here for a quiet evening of conversation? "

"Or I could teach you how to dance?" he offered.

I thought of what it would feel like wrapped in his arms as we swayed to music and my heart sped up a bit. "Perhaps, if you're willing to put your toes in mortal danger, you could teach me to dance. When would you like to have this date?"

"Soon. When can I come, Bella?"

Suddenly, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to see him now. "If we're just staying in, why don't you come over this evening?"

"I'd like that, Bella."

"Then, come! We don't have to worry about Charlie any longer. You can come through the front door like a normal person."

He laughed, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

**AN: Please, please, please review and let me know what your opinion is of this piece. It really encourages me to keep going. Thank you very much in advance. **

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**Chapter 7: Chapter 7 The Date**

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**Chapter Seven: The Date**

***BPOV

"_I'll be there in fifteen minutes."_

My eyes grew wide, I was still in the tub, "Give me thirty minutes to get ready and I'll see you then." I washed quickly, then jumped out of the tub and toweled myself dry. I was running over what I had in my closet, trying to think of something to wear that would be alluring but not too obvious. I had a nice pair of jeans and perhaps I could match it with my midnight blue long sleeved shirt. It had a v-neck and showed off something that had changed about me since Edward left five years ago. I smiled to see how my curves were accentuated by the modestly clinging sweater – alluring, yes. It accentuated the fact that I was now a woman and not the girl he remembered. I brushed out my hair and put on just a dusting of makeup, ending with strawberry lip-gloss. I knew that Edward seemed to like the smell of strawberries. I wonder if he'd like the taste? Oh. I actually had goose bumps from thinking that.

It was right on the half-hour mark when my door bell rang. A few butterflies started fluttering around in my stomach and it took every ounce of my self-control not to run down the stairs and throw open the door and fling myself into his arms. I was so glad to be seeing him again.

I took a deep breath before opening the door, and then swung it open to the most gorgeous sight I'd seen in a while. Edward stood there, much less haggard looking than he had been in Denali, wearing black jeans and a charcoal grey button down shirt with the sleeves half way rolled up his arms. He was holding a small bouquet of roses in his hand and there was a happy smile on his lips and in his golden eyes as he handed them to me. "These are for you, Bella."

Flowers? Really? I was truly touched. They were beautiful and fragrant and I was thrilled at his small token of … love? "Thank you, Edward. They are lovely and smell divine."

"They aren't half as lovely as you. Esme allowed me cut them from her garden for you."

The butterflies had multiplied by hundreds. Blushing deeply I said, "Please come in. I'll put these in water." He followed me through the living room into my kitchen and I found a small glass pitcher that would work as a vase. As I arranged the flowers, I noticed that each thorn had been carefully removed. Could butterflies stampede? I was overwhelmed with his consideration. Or, maybe he remembered how prone I was to accidental self-injury so was removing any chance for a finger prick which could lead to blood, which would lead to a disappearing vampire - or worse. Much worse.

"Your home is very nice, Bella." He stood looking around my hodge-podge, mix and match main room, his hands in his pockets, looking curiously at my very amateur attempts at interior design.

I laughed and tried hard not to roll my eyes. Edward had always lived in houses that were outfitted The Esme way - ala Better Homes and Gardens and here he was complimenting me on my ticky-tacky tastes. "Thank you, Edward. I've had a lot of fun decorating it." I put the roses on the mantel. I turned to him, intending on suggesting that he sit down but the look in his eyes made any cogent thought fly right out of my head. He was looking at me with the most intensely loving expression; he couldn't have shouted his feelings any louder. My heart fluttered with joy and I am sure I stared dazedly right back at him. Gradually, he stuffed his hands back into his pockets and smiled at me. "Did I just dazzle you, Bella?"

I sat – collapsed, rather – on my sofa and gasped out, "Uhm. I … er… yes. Did you mean to?"

He joined me, sitting at the other end, "No, not really. I was just thinking about how much I lo … well…. It's probably not the time to talk about that right now." He purposely changed the subject, "How are classes going for you?"

We spent the next half an hour talking about school and how much I was enjoying it. I told him I was surprised at how quiet and relaxed Alice was in class.

"What did you expect?"

"A dynamo. Someone who couldn't sit still and wouldn't shut up! She's actually quite the opposite."

Edward looked amused, "Alice can be the model student, if she chooses to be. I am sure she really doesn't have anyone to talk to in your class and I am betting she wants to impress you."

"Impress me? Why on earth would she want to do that?"

"She wants you to be proud of her. You know, history is her worst subject relatively speaking."

"She has done very well so far."

"I heard Jasper quizzing her last night. She was actually studying for your test."

"Wow. Do you think I could teach her something? Isn't this about the twentieth time she's had to take this class?"

"About that many, I suppose. Don't worry about Alice. She's happy being with you, even if it is just as your student."

"She got a perfect score on the test. I don't know why she was worried. I even gave her five bonus points on the extra credit question."

"Oh, really? What was the question?"

"It was a short answer question. 'What do you consider the most significant current event that happened this week?' "

"How did she respond?"

"She wrote, 'Edward came home to stay.' " I smiled.

"And that earned her five extra points?"

"If I could have given her a hundred extra points, I would have. She made me very happy."

Edward moved a little closer to me and put his arm along the back of the sofa, "Are you happy that I've come home to stay?"

I didn't answer him with words. His nearness was messing with my coherency. I simply gaped at him and nodded. The rational side of me was getting a little peeved at my apparent lunacy. He smiled my favorite crooked smile. I continued to stare. He picked up a tress of my hair that was hanging down on my shoulder and idly started playing with it. I was still enmeshed in his gaze and thinking impure thoughts about him.

"I am glad I came home to stay, too. I've missed you." I put my hand on his fore arm as he spoke. He leaned closer but as his lips neared mine, my stomach decided to let him and anyone else within a five mile radius know that I hadn't had dinner, yet. Crap!

"I've made you miss your dinner, haven't I?" Edward asked. He didn't wait for an answer. He stood up, grabbed my hand and led me to my kitchen. "You need to eat."

I realized there was no point in arguing with him. I remembered how stubborn he was about insuring I got my meals and my rest in a timely manner. I am sure that hadn't changed about him. I sighed loudly and decided on something quick and easy. Then maybe we could get back to where we'd left off.

I fixed myself a bowl of cereal and poured a glass of milk. I set them down on my small kitchen table and Edward sat across from me.

"I always feel badly eating and drinking in front of you. My mother taught me it was rude to eat in front of others. It is ingrained from my childhood."

"I guess I could always bring something for myself," Edward said with a completely straight face.

I looked at him not sure if he was kidding, trying to imagine him bringing a deer or bear over for a snack. The twinkle in his eyes gave him away.

I shook my head, smiling and turned back to my dinner, "For a second there, I thought you were serious."

I went on, "It's sad in a way. People have always expressed they cared for others by feeding them. I can't do that for you and I particularly like to cook."

Edward looked at me thoughtfully then reached over and took a spoonful of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"Edward! I know that you can't digest that. Why did you do that?" I looked at him in amazement.

He shrugged, "I don't want you to be sad. If you want to feed me, you can."

"Edward, that's just dumb. Don't eat things for me. That's bordering on crazy."

"Well, I have been known to do crazy things for you."

"You can't do that anymore, Edward. Crazy isn't a good basis for a relationship. As a matter of fact it is one of those rules of thumb: 'Don't date crazy people.'"

He laughed, "Okay. No crazy acting. Does this mean we are dating?"

I looked between us, "Isn't that what this is?"

His expression softened, "I hope so, Bella. I just am trying to figure out what you want our relationship to be."

I got up from the table and went to rinse my bowl and stack it in the dishwasher. I didn't really have an answer for him. Putting on the kettle, I went back and sat down at the table. "I don't really know how to define our relationship, Edward. I don't think there's an accurate definition right now. We are beyond dating and yet not exactly."

He leaned back in his chair and looked at me speculatively, "The vampire side of me considers you my eternal mate. There is no one else and can be no one else."

I lifted my chin and narrowed my eyes at him, a little smile playing at the corners of my lips, "To be honest, Edward, I am more interested in your human side. I think we've already proven that your vampire side just gets us in trouble."

He chuckled, "I never thought about it like that but you are right. It seems the human side of me is the more relevant to our relationship."

"Maybe that's because I am human. However, it seems to me that your family finds their relationships very human in nature, as well. The only time you are vampires together is when you hunt."

"So, you bring out the human in me. Tell me, please, how humans would handle our relationship."

I actually cackled at that, "Humans screw up relationships just as easily as vampires do, Edward, probably more so. Geez, just look at Charlie and Renee. They get along well enough now but that's only because there's an entire country separating them. Some humans would handle our relationship well and some would screw it up."

The kettle whistled so I got up to make my tea and I went on, "Be honest with me Edward. What do you want for us?"

Edward started to fidget. Since vampires don't fidget, I suppose I was really bringing out the human in him, "I know that this isn't want you want to hear but I want to be the one to share your life."

"Is that the truth?"

"It's the unvarnished truth. But I know I have to bring something more to the table than the promise that I won't kill you, accidently or otherwise. I have to decide what that's going to be before we can make that commitment, if you're willing to, that is."

I wasn't sure I could go that far right now, so I shrugged.

Edward ventured further, "What do you want, Bella?"

"I don't know. And that's _my_ unvarnished truth. I do love you but …" I didn't know how to continue.

Edward sighed, a frown creasing his forehead, "I know. It's not enough. Let's start then with what we have. We love each other."

I nodded, "There's no denying that."

"We have an amazing physical connection."

I nodded again, "Definitely."

"But what else do we have?" he mused.

We paused a bit in contemplation.

Edward picked an apple from the fruit bowl on the table and was slowly twisting its stem. He set it down and looked at me, "You know, Bella, we are passionately in love with each other but we never had the time to be friends. We had nothing to base our relationship on except this undeniable and irresistible attraction."

"So what do we do about that?" I asked, intrigued with the thought.

"We become friends. Friends are people you respect and trust. People that you enjoy being with…"

I grinned and reached across the table to put my hand on his, "We are on the right path, I think. We need to remember to build our friendship slowly."

"Remember? You think we'd forget?"

"We wouldn't exactly forget." I said, "I just think that sometimes our physical attraction is so strong it overwhelms everything else. We have to make time for just being friends."

Edward smiled that crooked smile, "You're saying that all you want to do is to jump my bones."

I blushed, "Vampires aren't the only ones with distractible minds." I shot him a dark look. Surely I wasn't the only one that was sexually flustered here.

To hide my confusion, I took a sip of tea. "I suppose we need to establish some ground rules."

He leaned back in his chair and mused, "I have a thought. Why don't you make a list of what you think is important, and I will do the same. Afterwards we can compile them. That way we won't get _distracted,_" he actually winked at me.

"Okay," I said as I got up to get some paper and pens. We sat there in companionable silence as we wrote. I was finished in a few minutes and looked up and saw Edward silently watching me. "Are you finished?"I asked.

He nodded, "Read yours first."

"Okay. Here goes...

The Ground Rules:

No sneaking through bedroom windows to watch unsuspecting sleepers.

In fact, no sneaking at all.

In other words, use the damn door.

Ring the doorbell first.

Always use open, honest communication. No more 'lying for the other's own good.'

No unilateral decisions that would impact both parties.

Respect each other's space.

Respect each other's decisions.

Possessiveness may be 9/10ths of the law, sort of, but too much of it doesn't work well in relationships.

Trust each other/be trustworthy.

Edward smirked, "So you didn't like me sneaking through your bedroom window in Forks?"

"Actually, I loved it. What I am trying to tell you here, though, is that it's not necessary." I smiled shyly at him hoping he would take my hint.

He just winked at me.

What did that mean? I huffed to myself. Then I thought about it. He probably didn't know exactly how to take me. One moment I am trying to slow things down the next, hurry them up. What was it that I wanted? I needed to think about this more.

Edward went on, "I have a question. What were your thoughts concerning your sixth rule? 'No unilateral decisions?' What do you mean?"

"I mean you can't decide on your own, without any input from me that this relationship is going to work or not going to work. You can't decide that we need to break up without some sort of honest discussion with me. You can't 'do things for my own good' if I don't think it is in my own good. Edward, I am an adult now and I have a right to make all my own choices. You can't decide what's 'best' for me without respecting what I think is best for me."

"I understand. Every time I did something like that before, it ended in disaster."

"But that also means I can't do that to you either."

"When have you ever forced a decision on me?" Edward looked puzzled.

"I tried to force you to change me into a vampire, Edward. I now realize that was wrong."

"You don't want that anymore?"

"I now see a value in my human life that I didn't before. I have work to do. I have a place. At this moment, I have no interest in changing my humanness for something else. I love my life, Edward."

"It is still my hope I can share your life with you."

My heart raced but I just nodded my head. I would like that as well but wasn't sure at this moment we could make it work.

"Let me see your list, Edward."

He handed it to me. There was only one thing on it.

**To become the man I was meant to be.**

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**Chapter 8: Chapter 8 The Dance Lesson**

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**AN:**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, just the plot here. **

**Thanks to all of you who are reading. I thank you so very much.**

**Chapter 8: The Dance Lesson**

**To become the man I was meant to be.**

That simple sentence, written in his impeccable penmanship, touched my heart. I pressed the paper against my chest and tears filled my eyes, "Edward, I think you are closer to that than you think." I leaned over and brushed his lips with mine. The familiar spark was there and as I pulled back we simply stared softly into each other's eyes, acknowledging our mutual hope.

I reached for Edward's hand and asked, "How much do you remember about yourself before you changed? What was the direction you were heading?"

"My memories of that time are very foggy but the Great War was waging in Europe and I was counting the days until I could enlist and fight. I remember it worried my mother terribly."

"So, all you dreamed about was becoming a soldier? Was that a true calling or just the excitement of the moment?"

"It was the result of the times. I don't think the service would have been a good fit for me. I was too much of a dreamer."

"What sort of man was your father?"

"I don't remember too much about him, unfortunately. I have some vague memory of a tall, suited, and stern man. I don't remember having much interaction with him. I think he worked in an office in Chicago but I don't know much more than that. I don't even know what industry he worked in.

"My memories of my mother are more clear. She was always interested in what I was doing. I remember eating fresh cookies and drinking cold milk while sitting at the kitchen table as we talked. After I was changed and I realized she was dead, it was a great grief to me."

"Carlisle told me about that time, once."

Edward looked at me in surprise. "What did he tell you?"

"Only that the three of you were admitted to the hospital he was working at with the Spanish influenza on the same day. Your father passed soon after but your mother spent her time, sick as she was, trying to care for you. In fact, I think Carlisle said that initially she was not as sick as you were. When she suddenly took a turn for the worst, she made him promise to keep you alive, no matter what it took. Carlisle took her at her word, even though his action probably wasn't at all what your mother anticipated, but he did keep his promise."

"I am surprised he told you all of this. When did he talk to you?"

I sighed and frowned, "The night of my 18th birthday. We had some time to ourselves for a bit."

His face darkened as he remembered what had happened that night. "And just three days later we were gone."

I nodded somberly, "Yes."

We were silent for a while thinking our own thoughts when Edward sat up and said, "You know, I think I want to learn more about who I was before I try to discover who I want to be."

"That's a great idea, Edward. How can you do that?"

"I'll start with Carlisle. He knew my parents in person. He may be able to tell me something more than I know."

"I bet he can," I agreed.

I shifted uncomfortably. The hard seat of my kitchen chair wasn't meant for long term sitting, so I stood up, walked back into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Lamps cast cozy shadows around the room and I smiled at how homey it looked. Edward followed but wandered past me to look at my modest (compared to his own) collection of CDs. He picked one out, turned to me and asked, "May I?" I nodded. He flipped the lid to my player, slid the CD inside and pressed play. Soon, we were listening to the mellow tones of the Righteous Brothers.

I laughed, "You like oldies but goodies?"

He only smiled, "Why not? I am one."

He held his hand out for me, "Time for your first dance lesson, Miss Swan."

Hesitantly, I rose and walked towards him with my hand outstretched to his. His touch was still electric and his smile was as dazzling as ever, but it was the look in his eyes that caused my heart to stutter then beat faster. He pulled me close and rested his left hand at my waist, while his right hand held my hand tightly in his own.

He lowered his voice, "Look into my eyes, Bella, and just follow me."

The soft, plaintive strains of "Ebb Tide" filled the room as Edward gently swayed to the music, guiding my body with his hands and my heart with his eyes.

"Edward," I whispered. It was not a question, not a plea, just a simple statement. "Edward."

He leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on my forehead, his arms pulling me infinitesimally closer as our feet floated across the wooden floor. Dancing with him was as easy as breathing, much easier than I remembered at that long ago senior prom. My leg had still been in a cast and my desperation to become immortal had over shadowed any potential enjoyment I might have had. I was such a silly little girl then.

Now, however, I was being swept away by the simple beauty and heavenly sensation of being held in Edward's arms, surrounded by his sweet scent, and his warm, golden-eyed gaze peering deep into my soul. As the CD advanced to the next song, Edward pulled me closer still until my head was nestled into his neck and his lips hovered over my ear.

Edward started singing the heart-breakingly yearning lyrics of "Unchained Melody" to me as we slowly swayed together.

"Oh, My Love, My Darling

I've hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time.

Time goes by so slowly

And time can do so much.

Are you still mine?

I need your love.

I need your love.

Godspeed your love to me."

He pulled back just then to look at my tear-filled eyes (I mean, really, wouldn't you have cried?) and said, "I love you, Bella." Then, he kissed me.

I melted into a big puddle of mush. It was a good thing he had a tight grip on me, else I'd have landed in a heap on the floor. We were near the sofa so it was an easy thing for Edward to sit down, pulling me onto his lap without allowing his lips to leave mine. I remembered Edward's kisses from before; hesitant, careful. This kiss wasn't anything close to resembling those. This one was passionate and fiery, thrilling my very soul.

I parted my lips, and let the tip of my tongue caress his bottom lip. I was surprised when I felt his lips part and his tongue enter my mouth to lovingly stroke my own. I squirmed around on his lap, pressing myself tightly to him. Edward moaned and suddenly I could feel something I'd never felt before – evidence that Edward more than loved me, he desired me as well. The kiss of all kisses was still ongoing, Edward was hard and moaning and I. wasn't. complaining. One. Bit.

The love and desire I felt for Edward was consuming me. I swung my leg around so that I was straddling his lap as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I may have moaned myself as I instinctively started to rock against him creating a delicious friction. Oh. My.

Edward's hands drifted down so that they cupped my bottom and firmly encouraged my movements. Oh. My. Oh. My. I could feel my personal happy meter getting close to the red zone. I needed to get us upstairs and SOON.

Then, Edward's hands stilled my movements and he leaned back to break our kiss. I must have looked pretty stupid straddling him with my eyes half-shut and my mouth hanging open. He stopped us. Just like old fucking times.

"Are we getting distracted, Bella?" he asked.

"Wha?" I could barely focus.

"We were getting distracted."

"Distracted?"

"From learning to become friends."

Oh. Yes. I could see now. Here I was preaching about how important it was for us to be friends and the next thing he knew I was encouraging him to stick his tongue down my throat as I was dry humping him. I was confusing us both.

I climbed off his lap and whined, "It's not all my fault. You're the one who laid a kiss of all kisses on me."

He looked rather pleased at that, "A kiss of all kisses? Wow. That good, huh?"

I scowled at him, "Yes. They are very potent. Very persuasive. Only to be used when absolutely necessary."

That adorable crooked smile appeared and he asked, "You like 'The Princess Bride,' Bella?"

I was surprised. A perverse quirk of mine was to sneak my favorite movie quotes into conversations I had but rarely would anyone catch me. 'A Kiss of All Kisses' was a quote directly from one of my favorite movies, 'The Princess Bride.' "I do. Do you?"

"Would you think less of me if I told you it was one of my favorite movies?"

"Not at all. I didn't realize we had that in common." I was delighted and we spent the next couple of hours talking about movies, music and things in general.

But as usual, my body had to make its demands known and I yawned.

Edward looked at me apologetically and said, "It's late. I'd better be going home."

"Oh, but I've had such a good time, Edward. It was a perfect date." I smiled happily but yawned again.

Edward rose and I followed him as he walked to the door, "When can I see you again, Bella?"

"I've nothing planned this weekend but, of course, I have work next week."

"Would you like to come to my house tomorrow? I am sure the family would like to see you."

"I'd like that, too. What time?"

"After lunch, perhaps? I'll come pick you up."

"Fine. I'll see you around one, then." I leaned up on my toes so that I could kiss his cheek.

He caught me around my waist and gave me a proper goodnight kiss. "I reserve the right to do that, even while we are learning to be friends."

"As you wish, Edward," I smiled again hoping he caught the Princess Bride reference.

His grin split his face, "As you wish, Bella. Always and Forever."

He stepped off the porch, waved and was gone.

I danced up the stairs, grabbed my iPod, put 'Unchained Melody' on repeat, and went to bed. Tomorrow afternoon couldn't come quickly enough.

**AN: **

**Unchained Melody was first recorded by the Righteous Brothers in 1965. Some of that old stuff is perfect.**

**Please be kind and leave a review. After a computer disaster, (where in I lost five chapters of this) my reviews were the only thing that kept me going. Thank you kind readers.**

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**Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Release**

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**AN: This is a tale of emotional self-discovery. Although Bella feels she's got it "all together" she finds in this chapter she doesn't. Can Edward help her as much as she has helped him?**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I just own my imagination.**

**Chapter 9: Release**

***BPOV

The next morning, I jumped out of bed as soon as I awoke eager for the day to begin so I could see Edward again. I wondered what he was doing in the intervening hours since our date. Probably, he went hunting or maybe he spoke to Carlisle. He certainly didn't make an appearance in my bedroom last night. Or did he?

I went over to the casement windows in my bedroom and studied their latches intently. It would have been difficult to move the tightly fitting screen out of the way so Edward could squeeze through. I hope he didn't try to get in, though. I wasn't afraid that he'd hurt me but it was just plain creepy having him sneak around like he used to. I hope he took my list seriously. I truly meant what I wrote. If we couldn't follow those simple rules, we'd never make it as a couple. But hey, wasn't I already breaking one? The one about trusting him? I needed to show some faith that he would abide by our agreement. He won't come in unless I invite him. I needed to remember that. It was hard to regain trust when it had been violated in the past. Only time would tell, I supposed.

I quickly made my bed, and dashed down the stairs to eat some breakfast. Since I'd had only cereal the night before, I decided that I'd make a decent meal this morning. I decided on oatmeal and fruit. I quickly made a small pot of coffee and started preparing the oats. My grandmother used to fix me oatmeal when I'd stay at her house. It was my ultimate comfort food, especially topped with plenty of butter, sugar and cream.

As I was slicing some peaches into a bowl, I heard a knock at my front door. This surprised me because other than my landlord, I really hadn't had the time to make friends in my new home. Certainly, no one knew where I lived, except for... I opened my door and there stood Alice, hesitantly grinning at me from the front door mat.

I smiled, "Come in, Alice! It's good to see you. What brings you here?"

She smiled brightly and said, "Miss Swan, I was hoping I could visit you for a bit, if that's okay with you?"

"Miss Swan?! In school and around school yes, Alice, please call me that. But here and in your home, I am simply Bella. And you can visit me anytime, my friend. In fact, I've wanted to talk to you for a long while."

"I am sure you have, Bella. That's one reason I wanted to come over. Jasper and I have an appointment this afternoon so when I found out you were coming to visit, I knew we wouldn't be there for you. I decided to come over this morning, instead."

"Do you mind if I eat while we talk? I was just fixing my breakfast."

"Oh, no! Not at all." She followed me back to the kitchen and started setting my table. Alice could never stand to be still, especially while other people worked. I stirred the oatmeal a little and got out the cream and butter. I noticed the coffee was ready so I poured a cup.

"Well, Alice, what do you think about all of this?" I asked as I spooned the oatmeal into a bowl.

"I think all the planets and stars and everything are finally aligning where they should be. Alleluia!"

I laughed. "And by 'where they should be', where exactly do you mean?"

I sprinkled sugar over the top of my oatmeal and added a lump of butter and stirred them together as I sat down in front of Alice. I noticed she'd put the roses Edward had given me onto the table as a centerpiece. She always had flair.

"Well, the Cullens are back together and that includes YOU, my dear sister."

I snorted. "I am thankful that Edward came back to where he truly belongs. He deserves a lot more than he gives himself credit for but Edward and I aren't sure what our future holds together. I am not sure that becoming a Cullen is going to happen for me."

"No?" Alice looked at me curiously. "Well, I can help you with that!"

"I am sure you can but I am not sure I want your prescient visions to guide me in this. This feels like something Edward and I are going to need to feel our way through."

"I understand, Bella, and to be honest with you, your future isn't at all clear for me to see now anyway."

"I guess that's because we haven't made any decisions. We are dating, I guess you could call it, and I know how he feels about me and he knows how I feel about him, but we are both aware that loving isn't enough. There are so many things to figure out."

"Like?"

"For instance, I am not sure I want to become immortal. In fact, I am sort of leaning away from that. I guess one thing I've found at the age of 23 that I didn't know when I was 18, is that I have a job to do with my life, a purpose that I need to fulfill. I haven't figured out if I can do that as a vampire as well."

"I thought as much. That vision I used to have with you having been changed into a vampire? I have not seen that in a long time," she sighed.

"And I can't see a long term relationship with Edward unless I do change. The difference in our apparent ages would soon draw attention. Right now, Edward and I can pass for contemporaries but in a few years, it would start looking really weird. I haven't figured out what is the best thing to do."

"Bella, you know he doesn't really want you to change. I think he was just planning to be your companion as you lived out your life and then end his own. He can't live without knowing you do as well."

"I am hoping that he finds something bigger than himself to devote his time to rather than just our relationship. It's healthier."

Alice nodded, "That's true, Bella. It sure beats going to high school over and over again."

I laughed, "I love school, Alice, but I can't imagine repeating it forever. That must drive you crazy."

"You know, I am thinking that this might be our last time. Jasper and I may borrow a leaf from your book."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe we need to find something to do with our existence, something worthwhile. Here Carlisle has been our sterling example all these years and we've never had the wits to follow him."

"Do you know what you'll do?"

"Not yet. We're just beginning to talk about it."

"So you two and Edward and I are in the same place regarding this, aren't we?"

"I guess so, Bella. We're sort of exploring our options. But for right now, it's okay, isn't it?"

I smiled goofily remembering last night, "Right now it's fantastic!"

Alice smiled, "Edward was on cloud nine when he got home last night. It's been a long time since I have seen him so happy, if ever. He was practically giddy."

"Giddy?" I snorted, trying to imagine that, "How so?"

"Oh, he came in the house last night with a big grin on his face, snuck up on Esme, then grabbed her in his arms and danced her around, all the time he was singing 'Unchained Melody.' "

"Hah! I bet she was surprised."

"She was ecstatic to see him so happy! Then Carlisle stopped him wondering why he was singing such a torch song to his wife. Edward answered, 'She's not the first one I've sung it to tonight.' And then he burst out laughing in sheer happiness."

I smiled as I collected my dishes and tidied up the kitchen. I guess it had been a long time since the Cullen's had experienced wholeness and happiness. It was such a long time for them to go without that. My expression turned somber and I faced Alice, "Why did you leave Forks, Alice?"

Alice's expression saddened and she sighed, "I first had to help Jasper. He was mortified at his behavior. He loves you as a sister, Bella, but fighting that primal blood lust is a continuous struggle for him. He simply couldn't help himself."

"Oh, I knew that. I understood and forgave him from the very first."

Alice patted my arm in gratitude, "It took Jasper much longer to forgive himself and by that time, the Cullens had already left Forks. Edward insisted it be a clean break and I wasn't around to argue him out of it. In fact, he wasn't around to be argued with anyway. It was a sad and lonely time for all of us."

"I was suffering, too, Alice."

"I know that now, Bella, but it seems that you did make the best of it, just like Edward said you would."

"I agree I made the best out of it but it did affect me in some ways. I never was interested in developing a relationship with another guy. In fact, I never went out on a date after Edward left."

"Really? I can't imagine it was because the guys weren't interested. What was up with that?"

"Oh, I some guys were interested but I wasn't. There were parts of me that just couldn't get over Edward. No one could take his place in my heart. Maybe I just needed more time or hadn't met the right person yet. Or, maybe I have just ignored the pain hoping it would go away."

"Hmmm. You _do _have a lot to figure out, Bella. But I know what I am hoping for." She impulsively reached to hug me and I realized at that moment how much I missed her over the years.

We spent the next few hours simply hanging out. I showed Alice around my little house and the yard outside. I talked Alice out of giving me a pedicure. And a manicure. And a make-over. I did let her pick out what I should wear on my second date with Edward, though. Somethings will never change.

Alice told me about the search for her past that she had done since she had left Forks. Discovering that her human life had been so tragic was rather sad. Her psychic abilities evidently had been apparent even then but instead of benefitting her, she was declared insane. I shuddered to think of what she had gone through. But Alice assured me, it was good to know what had happened rather than constantly living with questions.

It was nearing time for me to get ready and Alice left. I fixed myself a sandwich just to make sure my stomach didn't growl at an inconvenient time later and then took a hot shower. I chuckled to see what Alice had put together for me: a white low-cut tank top with a blue oxford shirt and a short denim skirt. I know she was dismayed not to find heels in my closet. I was perfectly satisfied with my sandals.

I was putting the finishing touches on my make up when I heard the door bell. Smiling, I rushed to the door, grinning from ear to ear. "Hello, Edward."

"Good afternoon, Bella." His breath caught as eyes swept over me from top to bottom. "You are beautiful." He leaned down and kissed me hello. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed closer to him. I felt so wonderful in his arms. I had to remind myself not to get distracted again. I could kiss him forever. I could also tell he was feeling the effects of our embrace. His breathing was ragged and his eyes had darkened.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked in a husky voice.

"Yes." I snuck one more kiss in before he ushered me outside to his waiting car. Soon, we were driving to the Cullen's house. Edward had a new car, a charcoal grey Volvo s80. It was lovely.

"You prefer Volvos, Edward?" I turned to look at him and caught him glancing at my cleavage. I am sure I smirked. Alice was genius.

All he said was, "Volvos are safe."

I laughed, "Since when does a vampire care about the safety record of a car?"

"Since I started carting around a fragile human in one." He looked over at me again and I caught him gawping at my legs, since my skirt had ridden up a bit when I sat.

"You had a Volvo before I met you," I claimed.

"True, but I figured that I should just keep with a good thing. My c60 is still in the garage in Forks."

"Really? Why did you keep it?"

"Because when I sit in it, I can still smell your scent." He shut his eyes and inhaled, "It was something I had that reminded me of you. When I got to missing you too much, I could simply go sit in the c60."

"You would jog on down to Forks from Alaska just to sit in the car?" I asked incredulously.

"From Alaska. From Brazil. From Texas. From wherever I found myself. It was like having something to go home to when the pain got too bad."

I shook my head and reached over to grasp his hand, "Oh, Edward. I am very glad that part of your life is behind you."

He smiled and nodded, "Me, too. No matter what happens, I am going forward."

"Besides, now you'll also have this car to sit in," I smirked.

He choked back a laugh, "I really hope that whatever our relationship will be in the future, Bella, we will remain friends. I won't have to moon around in a car somewhere to feel close to you." He continued to hold my hand as he drove down the roads to his house, his thumb stroking my knuckles sensuously, a soft smile on his lips.

We pulled into the Cullen driveway and through the gate, up the drive, finally circling around to the back where the garage was. The last roses of summer were in riotous bloom along the drive, trailers running along a trellis that led to the back of the house. Against the red brick, they were stunningly gorgeous.

"Esme out did herself this time, Edward."

"She certainly has a gift. I understand this place was derelict when they bought it."

We walked together, holding hands under the dangling flowers, their perfume sweetly engulfing us. Before reaching the house, Edward turned towards me and gently pulled me close, letting his hands drift down my back tracing every line, every curve. He slowly lifted his hand to my chin and turned my face up to his. His kiss made my toes curl and I lost myself in sensation; his touch, his taste, his scent, they all overwhelmed me. The moment was perfection and I sighed in complete contentment.

He gave me three or four more small kisses before stepping back and saying, "Let's go in and see Esme." We entered the house through the kitchen door. I was surprised to see Esme stirring a pot on the stove. She looked up as we entered with a brilliant smile on her face.

"Hello, you two. It is so good to see you." The unspoken words '_together again' _were left unsaid but all of us understood exactly what she meant. Esme, in a word, was jubilant.

Edward walked over to Esme and gave her a hug, "Where's Carlisle?"

"He'll be home in an hour. He had an early shift today. Why don't you show Bella around while you wait for him?"

Edward looked over at me, grinned and swept his arm in the direction of the other parts of the house, "Shall we?"

I followed him. Again taking my hand, he walked through to the staircase, pointing out various rooms as we passed but didn't give me a chance to gape. I suppose he figured I'd have time enough to nose around later. He was intent upon getting me upstairs. At the end of the second floor hallway, he opened a door and ushered me inside, "This is my room."

I looked around and noticed the huge bed that took up a great portion of the space. "It's different than your room in Forks."

Edward nodded, watching my reaction and noticing I was skeptically regarding the bed, "Esme and Carlisle thought I may have need for a bed now."

I let out a gust of air, "Seems like your parents are intent on getting you in my pants."

Edward laughed, "I know what they are hoping. They want to see us together as a couple. They love you, Bella, and already consider you a part of our family. You are probably going to be bombarded with hints and innuendos around them. I hope it won't bother you."

I sat down on his bed and chuckled, "If it bothers me, I just won't come here. Where is the rest of your family?"

"The only one that is home now is Esme. Jasper and Alice had an appointment and I think Emmett and Rosalie are hunting."

"Hmmm," I said.

Edward came over and sat next to me, "Hmmmm," he said trailing his fingers down my back. I shivered. Fireworks.

I laughed, "This is all rather obvious don't you think, Edward?"

He moaned in frustration, "Bella, I can't take my eyes off of you. You're so enticing to me. That shirt looks especially fetching on you."

I looked down and saw my cleavage was particularly exposed, then looked up at him and said with a twinkle, "Some things about me have changed since Forks."

"You were always a beautiful girl to me, Bella, but now, you are a beautiful woman. I like it. Very much." He winked at me. There's nothing I'd rather do right now than…"

He stopped and cleared his voice, "Would you rather play cards?"

I laughed, "I think cards would be preferable right now to making out."

He looked disappointed, "Why?"

"Because I don't think we'd be able to stop at just a kiss and also because no matter how quiet we try to be, Esme can hear us."

Suddenly, a stereo was turned on down stairs playing big band music from the 1940s. I really laughed then, "See, she could hear every word we were saying."

"She can't now. Hence, the music," Edward leaned over as if to kiss me.

"So you really want to break in this bed, huh?"

"Don't you think we're good enough friends by now? I just can't get you out of my mind," his hands drifted down my sides.

"Hmmmm," I shut my eyes as he started to nuzzle my neck.

"That's where we started," Edward looked at me to try to figure out what I wanted.

"Yes. I know. I am not sure what I want right now. I don't want to be manipulated into something, though."

"You feel like you are being manipulated?"

"A little, to be honest. You know, I don't want to go back down stairs after everyone gets back to the house and have them know I've just been having sexy times with their son or brother, no matter how much they are rooting for it. I want that part of our relationship to be private right now. I am not willing to share it with anyone but you." I smiled and looked at him from through my eye lashes, "If we were at my house right now, I'd be all over you, mister."

Edward hummed, sat back up straight and ran his hands through his hair, "I never want you to feel manipulated or in any way uncomfortable."

He leaned over to his bedside table and opened a drawer, "I think I may have a pack of cards in here somewhere."

I stood up, "I have a better idea, Edward." I held out my hand.

He rose and took it, "What?"

"Will you play the piano for me?"

He shrugged, "I haven't played in a long time, Bella."

"I would really love to hear you play again, Edward, please?"

Smiling, he answered, "It is hard for me to deny you anything." He led me out of his room and down the stairs to a large parlor off of the foyer where his grand piano sat. We walked over to the bench and Edward pulled me down to sit next to him. He stretched his fingers as if he was trying to discern if the music was still in them, then opened the lid, placed his fingers gently on the keys and played the first notes of "Clair de Lune." It was lovely. The acoustics in the room made each note sound as if he were playing in a concert hall and I was again transported by the beauty of his music. "Clair de Lune" segued into Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata," which led to Pachabel's "Cannon in D."

I know I was dreamily sighing, my hand curled on his thigh, and completely blissed out by this man and his music. He shyly looked at me from the corner of his eye and started playing what I recognized as "our song" - my lullaby. Our entire relationship was expressed in music by his talented fingers and beautiful heart: the sweetness of first love, the wonder we had in each other, the hope and happiness we shared for a time. Then his fingers trembled over a part I'd never heard before, a sad and tragic passage full of want and grief, longing and pain, guilt and loneliness. Tears started to fill my eyes and it was hard to swallow the lump in my throat. So much wasted time. So much sorrow.

I was trying very hard not to lose control as Edward played. I didn't want him to know how affected I was but a sob escaped as I remembered how we felt during those long years of separation. Edward immediately stopped playing and I suddenly was in his arms. He was comforting me, kissing away my tears, "Don't be sad, Bella. That is in the past now, what's coming will be happier." I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around his waist and nodded. I couldn't say a word.

Edward held me tightly, not speaking, just kissing my hair and softly stroking my back. I cried in his arms for a while releasing the pain that I had buried deep within myself and ignored while I was "making my own damn life." It had always been there as I carefully avoided it over the years. That pain, though, was the real reason I'd never been interested in a romantic relationship after Edward left. I had been fearful of feeling it again, so I avoided any entanglements. I was able to make a good life, and even to find contentment and happiness but there was still the unresolved business of my heartbreak. Hearing Edward play our song brought me face to face with it and I could ignore it no longer. Crying it out in Edward's arms – the only place I could have found release - cleansed my soul.

Many minutes later, I found myself in Edward's lap, tissues clutched in my hand, enfolded in his arms, hiccoughing a little as my emotional tempest passed. I was shocked at my outburst. I had no idea all that was bound up within me. But after the fact, I realized I needed to rid myself of it and I was so thankful that Edward was there to help me get through it. I sat up and looked into his eyes, "I didn't realize how much I needed to vent that. Thank you, Edward. Thank you for comforting me and holding me while I cried."

He squeezed me tightly and said, "Bella, that's what friends are for."

**AN: The pieces that Edward played for Bella are pretty wonderful. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata is really gorgeous and pretty easy to play on the piano.**

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**Chapter 10: Chapter 10 What Carlisle Knows**

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**AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and created its characters. I don't have any claim to her work, just this very minor plotline.**

**I put this chapter (and previous ones) up quickly because I will be going back to work next week and will then be publishing a chapter a week at that time.**

**Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. It keeps me enthused to write more. **

**Chapter 10: What Carlisle Knows**

***EPOV

I was hesitant to play Bella's Lullaby for her, especially the second movement. I had never sat down at the piano to play it but it was the recurring theme during my purgatory; its notes and chords echoing throughout my long, desolate solitude. Music has always been the way I expressed my feelings, more perfectly than words and, even though painful, I wanted to play it for my Bella, to let her know that our suffering was shared but it was now over.

However, I was surprised at her reaction. It was as if a damn had burst to allow Bella's own suffering to pour out and mix with my own. Finally, there was complete revelation. Finally, there was resolution. Finally, there was healing. We could now move on from here.

I realized now that Alice foresaw this scene. There was a box of tissues left out on the piano and explained why my family hadn't stayed in to see Bella. Alice had warned them. I must remember to thank her later.

We sat at the piano in calm comfort, not saying a word until I heard Carlisle's car drive up. I looked down at the beautiful woman in my arms, extremely reluctant to disturb this moment and said, "Carlisle's home. Should we talk to him now?"

Bella slipped off my lap and said, "Let me wash my face and I'll be right there." I showed her to the bathroom just off of the foyer and stepped over to the doorway that led to the kitchen. Esme was finishing her cooking project - some sort of Italian dish- hoping to entice Bella to eat while she was here. Carlisle had just come into the kitchen and smiled at me as he wrapped his arms around Esme. "Edward, I thought Bella was with you?"

"She is. She's in the bathroom at the moment."

_I hope it all went well. _Carlisle's mind was remembering all the research we did concerning the physical aspects of a potential relationship with Bella. If I could have blushed, I know I'd be scarlet. As it was, I swallowed nervously, darted my eyes away from his and slightly nodded my head. The scientist in Carlisle could never be dissuaded. His assumption that Bella and I had already consummated our relationship wasn't surprising. He knew how I felt. I wasn't going to enlighten him otherwise.

_Did the difference in your body temperatures cause a problem? Were there any unexpected side effects due to the changes in friction coefficients? Did you... _Just about then, Carlisle noticed my acute embarrassment and his thoughts ground to a halt. _I am sorry, Edward, it's just that I have never had the opportunity to study a couple like you and Bella. I find it fascinating. If you ever find it within yourself to discuss this with me I would appreciate it._

I was thinking that this would be the last thing I'd ever talk to Carlisle about again. Ever. It was easier when a sexual relationship with Bella had just been speculation but now that it was almost a real, shared, amazing reality, I simply couldn't bare my soul like that to him. I shuddered. "I thank you for your interest, Carlisle, but a gentleman never kisses and tells."

Esme could tell that we were having a half-thought conversation and she could also guess the subject matter, "Carlisle, leave Edward alone! Geesh."

Just then, Bella walked into the kitchen, her cheeks aflame, "Hello, Carlisle." She probably had heard some of what we were discussing. I walked to her side and reached for her hand. She had to know she never had to face anything alone again unless she wished and that included prying fathers. I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Carlisle was cheerful, "Welcome, Bella."

"I've always felt very welcomed in your home, Carlisle. You are all very gracious."

"It's more than just graciousness on our part, Bella. You are a Cullen as far as we are concerned."

Bella just smiled back at him. I decided it was time to distract Carlisle, "Bella and I were talking about the future, Carlisle, and how I should apply myself. I decided that in order to get a clearer picture of where I want to go, I really need to know more about where I began. I'd like to examine your memories about me and Elizabeth and Edward Masen, if I could. I want to start there."

Carlisle looked thoughtful and pulled up a stool to sit at the kitchen counter. "Where do you want me to begin, Edward?"

"I want to hear the whole story again, even the things you think I already know."

I led Bella over to the counter and sat next to her opposite Carlisle. Esme quietly worked in the background, listening.

Carlisle started, "As you know Edward, you and your parents, Elizabeth and Edward Masen, were admitted to Mercy Hospital in Chicago on September 15, 1918 with severe cases of Spanish Influenza. It was an epidemic and cots with sick patients were lined up along corridor walls, in filled to overflowing wards, anywhere we could find space.

"We were so overwhelmed with the sick and dying; I didn't have to pretend to be weary because no one really noticed what I was doing or how long I was working during the emergency. We were able to find a small room for the three of you to share. It had been an office that we had cleared out and could fit three beds in. Your father was almost comatose and you weren't far behind him. Your mother, Elizabeth, was the only one of the three of you lucid enough to talk.

"In appearance, you have a similar build as your father; tall and lean with his same texture hair, but your eyes were your mother's – a deep green. It's a shame that the most striking feature you shared with your mother was lost during the change. Elizabeth was a stunningly beautiful woman. She had classical features and a regal grace, even in her sickness. In repose, she reminded me of Mary in Michelangelo's _Pieta_. During her hospitalization, she spent her time trying to care for both you and your father as sick as she was.

"I never got a grasp on the manner of man your father was as he never regained consciousness and died within hours of his admission. He must have been a special man, though, to have won the love of such a woman as Elizabeth. We stood together at his bedside as he faded. I had to hold her up, she was so weak. I tried to suggest she lie down but she wouldn't leave his side. I will never forget the look on her face when he died. It was if a light had been snuffed out.

"I was able then to get her into bed and I called for the orderlies to remove your father's body. It was the middle of the night and I stayed with you both. You were sleeping but Elizabeth was restless. She wanted to talk about your father, so I stayed and listened as she rambled, feverish and heartbroken.

"They were childhood sweethearts in a rural town in Illinois, living practically next door to each other. Edward went to the city to seek his fortune and became apprenticed to a lawyer as he, himself, studied for the bar. Elizabeth stayed behind helping her parents run the small general store they owned. Edward could get just one day off a month and he'd get up before sunrise to hitch a ride to his hometown and to Elizabeth. They'd spend the day together and then he'd have to leave the same way he came, by hitching a ride back to the city.

"Unfortunately, Elizabeth lost her parents in quick succession and Edward appeared at her side, whisking her away to the city as his wife. At first, they were poor but happy. Edward worked his way up the ladder the lawyer's office and gradually their lot in life improved. After many years of fruitlessness, Elizabeth was delighted to discover she was going to have a child. You were the answer to many prayers.

"Elizabeth was determined that you would have the best in life so she set about making your home an engaging one for a young mind. She taught you to read when you were just three, and it was her hand that first showed you how to coax a tune from a piano. She encouraged your mind, your talent, your heart, and your spirit to rise up and become the best that you could be.

"That was one of the reasons why she bemoaned the war. She saw so much potential in you, so much ability, she didn't want you to throw it away in a battle besides her own personal devastation. She was fiercely protective of you. And so when that great leveler, the Spanish Influenza, threatened to take all that she'd lived for she turned to me and begged me to do whatever I could to save you.

"What a temptation she presented to me! Because of my 'vegetarianism' none of my kind was interested in sharing my existence. My loneliness had become a burden and I had been contemplating taking a companion, someone I could bring up sharing my ideals. But I still struggled with taking a human's fate in my hands and forcing an existence upon them in which they had no choice. It had briefly crossed my mind to change both Elizabeth and you at the same time. But there were problems with that – beyond the ethical issue of changing a human in the first place. Could I handle two newborns on my own? Unlikely – not with a newborn's strength and hunger. And then there was the fact that Elizabeth was devastated by the loss of her husband. I was sure that that feeling would be hers eternally if I changed her and I couldn't doom her to that fate. When Elizabeth pleaded with me to save you no matter what, I made the choice. Whether I was right or wrong to do it, Edward, I still don't know.

"Elizabeth drifted off to sleep and you were stable for the moment, so I rushed to your home and gathered such things that I thought should be your inheritance – your mother's jewelry, some paperwork and photographs. When I arrived back at the hospital, to my surprise, Elizabeth had died and you were close to your last breath. I had to act quickly. It was early in the morning and so, I wrapped you up and spirited you out of the hospital to my house. I lived on the outskirts of the city and its location afforded us the privacy we needed. It was there I changed you from mortal to immortal, probably a half an hour before you would have died. Four days later, you were a vampire and here we are today. I still don't know that I made the right choice then or at any other time when I forced this life on others."

Carlisle's face was pensive as he finished. We were all thinking the same thing. Did Carlisle do the right thing changing the four of us? Honestly, I didn't know how to answer that, at least for myself. Esme walked over to Carlisle and put her arms around him, "I can't speak for anyone else, Carlisle, but I know that outside of holding my baby in my arms for a brief time, I never knew true happiness until the day I awoke in your arms."

I roused myself to speak, "The difference is, Esme, you've done something positive with your existence. You rehabilitate architectural treasures. You made many wonderful homes for the rest of us. I've never done anything like that - something selfless that helps others in this life or my in previous one. I need to find out what I can do about that."

Turning to Carlisle, I said, "Carlisle, what did you collect from our house?"

Carlisle stood and said, "I've shown you some of those items before but you didn't seem to be too interested at the time. Let me get them for you." He left the room and returned a few minutes later with a wooden box in his hand. He gave it to me and said, "I haven't looked in it in a very long time."

I took the box, set it on the counter and paused a moment before I opened it. I glanced at Bella who had been sitting quietly next to me throughout Carlisle's story. She smiled encouragingly, her beautiful brown eyes full of love for me. Feeling a jolt of desire, I smiled back, amused that even that small glimpse caused my body to respond, even at a time as serious as this one. The way she was dressed today was designed to grab my attention. I wonder if I have Alice to thank for that? Who would have guessed I had such a strong carnal side?

I lifted the box top off and reached inside to pull out the papers that were piled on top. The first paper was my birth certificate. I laughed, "I've seen many of my _birth certificates_ over the years but never the real one. It's funny." I read the certificate and saw that I was born in the same hospital I, or rather the human me, had been dying in. It gave my mother's maiden name and the place where both my parents were born. That's information I needed.

Next, I found a velvet box and opened the lid. I remembered this jewelry box. I had given a few of my mother's pieces to Esme and Alice in years past. My first impulse was to give the rest of the lot to Bella but I knew she'd feel uncomfortable if I did and probably would refuse it. I'd have to be crafty to give her any of it in the future - probably have to knock her over the head first.

There was an aged envelope at the bottom of the box. I gingerly picked it up and read what was written in neat, copperplate handwriting, "**The Masen Family**." Inside were two photographs. The first was a picture of a young couple in a formal pose with the man seated and the woman standing beside him, her hand resting upon his shoulder. They were wearing clothes that were common in Edwardian times. The woman's hair was done up in Gibson girl fashion and she was every bit as beautiful as one of those famous models. She sported leg-of-mutton sleeves on her wasp-waisted dress. Her husband was wearing a three-piece suit and a high collared shirt with a bowler hat resting on the table next to him. They looked placidly into the camera.

I squinted at their faces, trying to resurrect a memory of them. It was all foggy but glimpses of those times flashed through my mind. I stared into my mother's eyes and could vaguely remember their smile and comfort. Memories of my father were even more dim. Maybe as I researched, more would come back to me.

I handed the picture to Bella and then looked at the next one. It was of me. The sepia tones of the photograph dulled the colors so I couldn't see how my skin tone was ruddier than it is now or that my eyes were green rather than amber but everything else was the same. Perhaps the eyes were less jaded, less cynical but there I was in all my humanness. I would guess that the picture was taken the summer before I had contracted the influenza, perhaps in commemoration of my seventeenth birthday. Looking at the human me stirred all sorts of feelings that I couldn't name. I was unsettled.

I handed that photo to Bella, too, but this time I watched the play of emotions across her countenance as she looked at the human me that was. I was surprised when tears welled in her eyes and she let out a shuddering breath. I am sure she would have preferred the human Edward to the vampire one had she been given the choice. It was my eternal sadness that I couldn't ever be that Edward again but this time I was sad not for myself but for Bella.

*****BPOV**

Talk about conflicted? That was me to a "T."

Seeing the evidence of Edward's humanness put right in front of me brought up all sorts of feelings, mostly grief for the boy he was. Was Carlisle right to have changed Edward? I didn't know. Edward at 17 was on the cusp of manhood. The Spanish influenza was destined to end his life before it hardly had begun. Giving him a chance at life was what Elizabeth asked Carlisle for but Carlisle had only one sort of life to offer. Did Elizabeth know on some level what Carlisle was and therefore knew exactly what she was asking? Or was it just coincidence?

As I stared down at the old photograph, my heart ached for the poor boy. In the picture, he looked as if he could be anything, do anything. I could understand Elizabeth's desperation. This beautiful boy needed a chance but the fates had decided differently. He was doomed to die without some sort of supernatural intervention. The question was though; did the supernatural have precedence over the natural?

I also realized as well that if Carlisle hadn't decided to change Edward, I would never have met him. He would have been dead sixty-eight years before I was born. And that loss made me selfishly sad. The lessons I learned about life and love from Edward had helped to grow into who I was now. And besides that, I loved him so wholly. I couldn't imagine not knowing this feeling, this depth of emotion.

Edward packed his treasures back in the box and we decided to go back to my house. Esme insisted that I take the entire lasagna she had made home with me so that I could have leftovers during my work week. I was appreciative but looked skeptically at the pan. There was enough there to feed a large family. I was going to be sick of lasagna before too long. Our ride back was mostly silent. My emotional catharsis and the story of Edward's family took a lot out of me and left me with much to process. When we pulled up into my driveway, Edward parked the car and quickly got out and opened my door, his gentlemanly habits reminding me of old times.

I smiled up at him as I reached for his hand and his expression brought me up short. He looked stricken and pained.

"Edward, are you okay?" was the only thing I could think of saying. It was a dumb question because obviously he wasn't okay.

"I am well," was all he would say. I looked at him worriedly as he escorted me to my door. Oh, oh. There I had been, all wrapped up in my own feelings and forgetting all about what Edward must have been going through. I could see the wrinkle between his eyebrows and I knew that something was wrong, regardless of what he said. I wasn't putting up with his stoic BS.

I unlocked my door, grabbed Edward by the hand and pulled him into my house, dragging him over to my sofa and pushing him down on it. I use the words 'pulled,' 'dragging,' and 'pushing' loosely because in reality I could never physically manhandle Edward. He was going along with me out of courtesy but I could tell he really wanted to disappear.

Disappear?! Well, Edward Anthony Cullen, we weren't going to have any of that crap this time around.

"Stay right there!" I ordered him and dashed into the kitchen to find our 'lists.' Bringing them back to him I said, "You are all ready violating number five!" I waved it under his nose.

He took the paper and looked puzzled as he read it, "'Always use open, honest communication. No more 'lying for my own good,'" he read. "How have I done that, Bella?"

"I asked you what was wrong and you said, 'I am well' and I know that was bull because you look like someone told you Perez was now Team Taylor. We aren't going down that road again, Edward. Do you remember that road? The one where you lied to me and broke both of our hearts? This isn't going to happen again. You are going to tell me what's upsetting you or I am going to lay the smack down!"

I sat down next to him, folded my arms across my chest and gave him the evil eye as I waited for him to respond.

Edward sighed, then looked up at me and said, "Actually, I am not well. I am broken hearted that I can't be the Edward Cullen you really want."

"The Edward Cullen I really want?" Oh, I _was_ going to beat him.

"Yes. You want the human that I was, not the vampire that I am."

"Okay. For one: You - how you are _now_ - are the only Edward Cullen I've ever known. I never knew the Edward Cullen of 1918. So, how can you say I'd prefer him to you?"

"I saw your expression when you looked at my photograph, Bella."

"So?"

"You were crying."

"And? What do you think I was crying about?"

"The fact that Edward in the picture is the one you want."

I think I growled and I saw his lips twitch in amusement as if he couldn't help himself.

I went on, "Secondly, you made an assumption and you went with it. You should have asked me what I was crying about and I would have told you the truth. _I_ am keeping the rules here if no one else is."

I sniffed, "In this case, Edward Cullen, you assumed wrongly. I was feeling sorry for the seventeen year old boy who was stricken at such a young age. I was crying for _you_, not for _me_." He could be so dense sometimes.

He was smiling at me now, "I am sorry Bella. I am not used to being so candid about my feelings. It's going to take practice to get that right."

I was still grumpy, "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you're cute when you're pissed."

I gasped, "EDWARD CULLEN! You said 'pissed'!" I was deliciously scandalized.

Chuckling, he reached over to pull me onto his lap, "I think New Bella is rubbing off on me."

After we cuddled some on the sofa, my internal alarm clock went off. In other words, my stomach growled _again_. It was entirely too used to being fed regularly. Edward insisted that we interrupt our very cozy making out session – and boy, was kissing the new Edward pretty damn perfect – so that I could eat some dinner. He followed me into my kitchen, watched me cut a square of Esme's lasagna and heat it up in the microwave. I threw together a small salad as a side dish and poured myself a glass of tea.

"So, Edward, if I kept a few bags of hemoglobin in the fridge, could I at least pour you a drink to have while I ate?"

Edward made a pretty nasty face, "Cold Blood? That sounds pretty repulsive."

"I've got a microwave."

"Ugh."

"So your food has to be 'on the hoof' before its appealing to you?"

Edward shrugged, "I guess the hunt is almost as important as the sustenance. Just sitting around sipping on a jug of blood doesn't do it for me. Besides, I can just see you dropping into a dead faint at the sight and smell of it. We'd have the EMTs here every day."

The snarky comment I was going to make was interrupted as the microwave binged and I got out my food, sat down at the table and cut into the delicious looking lasagna.

"It was very nice of Esme to fix me dinner. She's such a love."

I took a bite and suddenly realized my mouth was on fire. I inelegantly spat out the barely chewed bite into my napkin. "Ugh!"

Edward eyes were huge. "What's wrong, Bella?"

I chugged down my tea, "The lasagna is spicy, Edward. I mean HOT, HOT spicy. I mean like habanera pepper spicy." I moaned in pain a little.

"I think I just lost a layer of skin off the roof of my mouth!" I drank some more tea. Tears were coming into my eyes for the third time that day but this time not from emotion but from pain.

"Ugh!" I started to fan my hand in front of my open mouth. "Hot! Hot! Hot!"

Edward snickered at me.

"What did she put in the sauce?" I looked closely at a forkful, then sniffed it. I couldn't detect anything really weird but I wasn't eating any more of it that was for sure. I shrugged my shoulders and just concentrated on my salad.

"Poor Esme," Edward said, "She worked so hard on that lasagna. I think she used all homemade ingredients and vegetables she grew herself. She slaved over that stove all day."

"I know, she was very sweet and I feel guilty but it isn't edible unless you have a cast iron digestive track. Don't tell her about this. I don't want to hurt her feelings. Please, Edward?"

Edward shrugged noncommittally.

I decided to change the subject, "What are you going to do with Carlisle's information about your past?"

"I will read everything thoroughly, then figure out what to do. I am sure I'll be visiting my parent's hometown and the Chicago neighborhood they used to live in, just to see if it stirs any memories. Other than that, I am not sure."

I sat there staring down at my plate, pushing a tomato slice around with my fork, "Edward, how does vampirism work?"

"You know, Bella. Someone is bitten by a vampire but not killed. The venom eventually 'turns' them."

"**Yes, I know the mechanics but what's in the venom that causes the change? You turn but you're still ****_you. _****You may have some super human powers but by and large you are the same person as you were before the bite, except for the blood lust, strength, immortality, etc."**

"**Et cetera? Those are quite a lot of exceptions, Bella. I am very different than what I was."**

"**How so?"**

He let out a long sigh, "Every cell in my body changed to a crystalline material. My cells are no longer carbon based – they are silicon based."

"Silicon, as in sand?"

"Basically – about as much as a lump of coal is to your cells."

"So is the venom a virus? A bacteria? An alien race?"

"It's a reagent. It reacts with a carbon based cell to change it to something else."

"So, it's a chemical reaction?"

"Basically. Once the venom is introduced, it changes the cells that are already there to make something completely different. What is made uses the original carbon based cell as a blue print. The DNA dictates what goes where and how. That is why we look the same and, for the most part, have the same personalities. It also explains why all wounds and ailments are repaired and cured. We are almost exact copies of the humans we were."

"I really don't understand why you don't consider yourselves humans, though. You're like another kind of human."

"We're vampires, Bella."

"You don't say?" I said sarcastically. "I mean really, Edward, you have human thoughts and human reactions – well, minus the blood lust – and human desires. You certainly aren't dead, like you like to claim."

"I have no heart beat."

"That's because you don't need it. I am sure, however, you have brain waves."

Edward nodded, "We do."

"The clinical definition of death is when the heart beat stops AND brain waves stop. Your brain waves have never stopped, so you've never died and you're immortal simply because you don't wear out. You just were overhauled. Remodeled. Improved."

Edward frowned, "Demonized."

I sighed heavily, "You are beyond silly. You've just explained to me that vampirism is basically the result of a chemical reaction. How can Chemistry be evil? It's what you do with it that makes it evil. Evil is a premeditated action that causes harm to others. It's a conscious decision. Edward Cullen, you don't do evil things, therefore, you aren't a demon."

"I've done evil things."

"Haven't we all done at one time or another?"

Scoffingly, Edward asked me, "Bella, when did _you_ kill someone?"

"I've never killed anyone, _yet_," I gave him a pointed look, "but I've done bad things."

"Like what?"

"Disrespecting Charlie."

"How did you disrespect Charlie?"

"I let you into my room at night against his wishes."

"I started that."

"I never told you to stop."

"So, I am as guilty in 'disrespecting Charlie' as you are. You aren't proving your case, Bella."

I playfully jabbed him in the side, "Well, you've had more time to make mistakes than I have had."

"So you're saying that I just need to give you more time and you'll go all Lizzie Borden on me?"

"No. I think I've developed the moral framework to avoid killing someone. You needed time to develop yours. Once you did, you stopped."

"You have this all figured out, don't you?"

"I've figured somethings out."

"And somethings you haven't?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Like what?"

"Like whether I'd ever want to have that Internal Vampiric Chemical Peel myself."

**AN: The Perez coming Team Taylor is a nod to Perez Hilton's adoration of Rob Pattinson. I think he likes Taylor Lautner, too, but for some reason, he can't stand Kristen Stewart.**

**Lizzie Borden was accused of killing her father and step mother with an axe back in the late 1800s. She was found innocent but most believed that was a perversion of justice. She was sort of the OJ of Victorian times.**

**Please leave a review. It's gas to my writing engine.**


	3. Chapter 3, Chapters 11-15

**Chapter 11: Chapter 11 Mortality versus Immortality**

* * *

**Chapter 11 Mortality versus Immortality**

***EPOV

_She'd said, "I've figured some things out."_

"_And some things you haven't?" I asked._

_She nodded._

"_Like what?"_

"_Like whether I'd like to have that Internal Vampiric Chemical Peel myself."_

I could only look at my Bella. That 'vampiric chemical peel' had been the crux of all disagreements we'd ever had. It was ultimately why I left her. At 18, she'd wanted eternity with me but I couldn't bring myself to agree to kill her and condemn her soul. She thought I was being ridiculous at the time.

After years of separation, evidently she had time to think all of this through. And so just now, as she sat at her kitchen table, she successfully argued with me that 1) vampires weren't dead and 2) the state of one's soul had more to do with one's choices than chance. My arguments were out of the window for all intents and purposes, and yet now she was telling me that she wasn't as determined to become immortal as she once was. I was extremely curious as to why she'd changed her mind.

"Bella, you used to be adamant about becoming immortal. What's made you change your mind?"

She simply said, "It's a long story. Let's clear the table and go back to the living room." I helped her by rinsing the dishes while she loaded the dishwasher. I also surreptitiously dumped Esme's lasagna in the garbage. Bella darted a glance at me and whispered, "Don't tell her!"

"I won't say a word, if I can help it. She's bound to ask me how you enjoyed it, though. You need to tell her where it went wrong; else, she'll be baking you lasagnas weekly."

"I don't know how to tell her, especially since she worked so hard on it."

"Just tell her, Bella."

She sighed and walked back into the living room and curled up on the sofa. I sat next to her and opened my arms inviting her to cuddle next to me. I was delighted when she quickly scooted over into my embrace. I loved holding Bella. It was heaven.

"Now tell me, my Bella, why aren't you interested in spending eternity with me any longer?"

"It's not that I don't want to spend eternity with you, Edward. It's very easy for me to say I do, but to be honest, I don't really have a clear idea exactly what eternity is. What human could? Even Carlisle is only a little more than three and half centuries old and that's not even close to eternity."

I nodded my head, "That's true. As for me, I am still young in vampire terms. In fact, there are humans still alive that were born the same year I was, although they'd be unusually old for a mortal."

"Who's the oldest vampire you know?"

"The oldest vampires I've known about, though I've never met them, are from Transylvania."

Bella lightly slapped my arm, "Get Out! So, Count Dracula was for real?"

I laughed, "There was actually a human who was Vlad Dracul. He was the sovereign of a small region probably five to six hundred years ago. It's rumored among us that he knew some vampires and tried to emulate them. He craved their power, you see. It wasn't a smart thing to do as some vampires eventually put an end to him but that's the risk you take when you humans decide to hang around with us." I winked at her.

"Yes. I know how scary you all are," she cuddled under my chin and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I have nightmares every night."

I was hoping she was being facetious. If she really, honestly knew what most of my kind were capable of and how little they valued human life, she should have nightmares. I held her a little more tightly. I wondered if I could move her into our house. I could protect her much more easily if we were together. Or, maybe I could convince her to let me live with her here? I had to smile inwardly. I could just see the expression on her face if I suggested that right now, in fact, I could hear the lecture start already on the importance of taking things slowly.

Oblivious to my internal dialog, she went on, "So where did vampirism start?"

I sighed, "No one really knows. Who, what, when, where? The answers have been lost or forgotten." I was quiet for a bit and then spoke aloud, "Maybe that's something else I could explore."

Bella shuddered, "Now that would be a creepy research project. Will you have to explore dungeons, crypts and moldy old buildings?"

I chuckled, "Maybe. But a lot of information can be found in libraries, just like anything else."

"There's a vampire library, Edward?"

"Actually, there is - in Italy. Definitely not open to the public."

Sounds like you will be doing a lot of travelling, Edward."

"Possibly. Would you like to go with me?"

"Wow. I'd love to but I think I'd get in your way. I mean, I am not supposed to know about the existence of vampires, am I? Won't the vampire powers-that-be take a dim view of me?"

"You're right. The Volturi would probably kill us all if they knew about how much you were aware."

"The Volutri ? The Vampire 'royalty?' That's not good."

"No it isn't. There's a good reason for their diligence, though. Can you imagine if vampires were common knowledge in the human world? The uncivilized of us would treat human populations as real estate to fight over, or rather, feed lots to war about."

Bella shivered in my arms, "Ugh. Best to keep the humans in ignorance."

"I think so."

"Edward…." she paused, "why did you tell me? You know, back when we were students together at Forks High?"

"I was being incredibly selfish, Bella."

"Selfish! How can you say that? You are the least selfish person I know."

I shook my head, "I wanted you to know _me _and love _me_, not the caricature of me - the pretense, the camouflage. I wanted to you to return a small part of the love I had for you and I knew in order for you to do that, you'd have to know me for all that I was. I tried to stay away from you at first but you saw how impossible that was for me. So instead, I put you and my family at risk for purely self-indulgent reasons."

"But your family seems to encourage our relationship."

"Yes, they do. But there are several reasons they do. First, I'd say, is that they love me and they know the key to my happiness is you. Secondly, they love you and want you to join us. But thirdly, if you became a vampire, the small chance of danger that you pose to my family would disappear. However, that chance is so small I don't think they truly consider it a problem."

I could see that she hadn't thought of that aspect and it worried her. "Why is it such a small chance?"

"The Volturi are very content to stay in Italy. They don't go looking for problems. If someone steps out of line, they are reported, and the guard is sent out to deal with it. We Cullens live very quietly and never draw attention to ourselves by overt vampire behavior. Frankly, I think the Volturi would like to forget we even exist. They never understood or agreed with Carlisle's life style.

"So, I suppose you are right, Bella. If we traveled together, surely we'd be seen and reported and then they'd be sure to pay attention." I was beginning to decide I wouldn't explore that line of research. It would require that I leave Winchester for what could be long periods of time. I was sure I didn't want to be parted from Bella again, even if for a good reason.

I leaned over and kissed Bella softly on the lips. She returned my kiss hesitantly, then looked seriously back into my eyes and whispered, "You need to find out, Edward."

"Find out?" I asked.

"You need to find out as much as you can about concepts such as 'eternity' and 'forever' as they exist in the immortal world. It's the only way I can figure out what choice I need to make. I don't have enough information to decide whether I want to change or stay human."

She put her arms around my neck and threaded her fingers through my hair, "I know what I'll be giving up if I change. I know some of what I'll be gaining. I just need to know it all, or as much as is possible."

"Tell me what you'll be giving up?" I knew what she'd be giving up probably better than she would. I wanted to see if she had thought as much about this as she had about the state of my soul.

"I would be giving up a mortal life throughout all of its stages. So many lessons, so many experiences I would never have; important things, human things. I'd never experience pregnancy or motherhood, settling down, digging in roots, growing older, experiencing middle age, old age, even death and sharing all of that with a partner who would grow with me. I know that some would say that I should be glad to avoid aging and death but there's beauty and wisdom one gets only through experience. It's what being a mortal is. It's who I am and I like who I am. And who's to say that what lies beyond death is emptiness? Perhaps there is a heaven and once we've arrived there we'll wonder why we waited so long?

"But what worries me the most is giving up my parents and my human friends and causing them enormous pain in the process. They'd have to think I was dead. Edward, it would kill Charlie. Renee's got Phil and though she'd be devastated, she has a strength that Charlie doesn't. I really think my dad would die."

All I could do was hold her close to me. She had so much to lose by committing herself to me. This was what I'd always known. In a way, I was glad she finally realized the full gravity of this decision. When we were in Forks, she simply wasn't experienced enough to make a wise choice and now she was. I was inordinately proud of Bella and I knew now that I could leave that decision completely in her hands. It was her choice and a hard one.

She sat up to look deeply into my eyes, her hands cupping my face and she said, "I love you Edward. You know that I do. I will love you always. _I _know that. But I couldn't live my life _with_ you as a human because of the danger I put your family in. And, besides, I couldn't stand to grow old while you apparently stayed young. We couldn't be lovers to the world when our seeming age difference would widen. We'd be living a shadow life in secret and honestly, Edward, could you imagine sexing me up when I look like Mrs. Claus?"

"Mrs. Claus? No. But I wouldn't be making love to Mrs. Claus. I'd be making love to you and that would always be paradise. I will always see you with my heart, Bella, and you will always be for me the most beautiful thing in the universe."

She smiled tenderly at me, "Honestly, the only way I can fathom being together would be if I was changed. Having you every single day of tomorrow is almost enough for me to forget about all the things I'd lose. This is why I need to know everything that can be known about vampire existence."

"It will mean me traveling, perhaps for months at a time. We'd be parted."

"That will be 'a long, lonely time'*, Edward, and I will miss you. But when I think what is at stake, we just have to do it. Besides, can you think how incredible our reunions will be?"

I softly stroked her hair, already not looking forward to being separated from her again but knowing she was right. We needed to know what forever would actually mean.

"Edward, we are dating now, right?"

"Of course," I answered.

"So, let's enjoy it! We know you are going to travel soon, so let's make the most of the time we are spending together."

I smiled at her, "How about a movie?"

"Sure!"

"The Princess Bride?" I suggested.

She laughed, "As you wish."

Bella jumped up to put the DVD in the player and turn on her television and we happily watched the trials of Westley and Buttercup and their bumpy road to true love, er, make that "Twu Wuv."

***EPOV (continued)

When we were in Forks, I never told Bella that it was very easy for me to know when she was menstruating. As a matter of fact, I could tell by the subtle changes to her delectable scent wherever she was in her cycle. But I never said anything, just noticed the changes in Bella's body as I noticed everything about her. After all, it wasn't a subject for "mixed company" and I'd never wish to embarrass her. She took care of herself, of course, and it never was a problem anymore than her delicious fragrance ever was for me.

While watching the movie, I could tell that her time of the month had come upon her. I wasn't sure she was aware of it because she didn't excuse herself to the restroom and this left me in a conundrum. What's a boyfriend to do? I couldn't just blurt out, "Hey, Bella, I think you just started your period, you might want to take care of it." That would be crass. But I didn't want Bella to be uncomfortable and, to be honest; I was enjoying her heavenly aroma a little too much.

I know. Gross.

She was curled against me watching the movie as I sat there and buried my nose in the hollow behind her ear. I was trying to discretely wallow in her fragrance but I think I was a little too enthusiastic.

Bella sat up and looked at me, "Are you sniffing me?"

I was caught and probably looked completely guilty. I didn't say anything.

Bella gazed at me with a preoccupied stare for a moment and then squeaked, jumped off the sofa and dashed for the stairs. Okay. This was going to be dicey. I paused the movie.

A few minutes later, Bella slowly came down the stairs. She had changed from her denim skirt and tank top into some comfortable looking yoga pants and a t-shirt that seemed about ten sizes too big for her. Her face was a study in embarrassment.

I smiled at her, "Hello, beautiful."

She blushed and grumbled something that even I couldn't hear.

"Shall I let the movie resume?"

She nodded and sat back down but this time not touching me. I put my arm up along the back of the sofa and asked softly, "Are you feeling okay, Bella?"

"I am fine."

"Number Five."

She looked at me in confusion.

"You are violating number five of our ground rules. You aren't telling me the truth."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Truly, I am fine. I just started my period." She looked down and started picking at one of her nails. In a softer voice she added, "That interferes with… uhm… any inferred promise I may have made earlier today."

I shrugged. I remembered now what she was thinking about, '_If I was at my house, I'd be all over you, mister.' _It wasn't important, truly. Our time for physical intimacy would come, I hoped. "There will be another day – or night – for that, Bella. Are you feeling well, though?"

"Really, I feel fine. I'll probably be crampy tomorrow but nothing horrible."

I was thinking that now would be the time to let her know how well I knew her, "You never did seem to have a lot of trouble with your cycles."

She looked at me in surprise, as I expected her to. "I never told you anything about that."

"You didn't have to. My vampire side was always well aware."

Comprehension made her eyes widen, "You always could tell?"

I nodded. "Please don't be embarrassed. It's a consequence of my heightened sense of smell."

"Ew. That's nasty, Edward."

My voice was suddenly husky, "Not for me, it wasn't." I held out my arms, "Come here, please."

She slanted me a dubious look, "Are you going to sniff me again?"

"I'll try not to, if you'd prefer. I just want to hold you and finish the movie, okay?"

She smiled and snuggled close to me after she'd wrapped herself in the afghan she had draped over the back of the sofa, "I was getting a little chilly."

"I have a habit of doing that to you."

"It was one of the things I missed." She snuggled into my arms and we returned to the movie. I loved how we fit together and how _complete _I felt holding her. Maybe complete wasn't the word – perhaps fulfilled was a better choice. Yes. At this moment I felt fulfilled. And for this moment, that was enough.

*****Bella's POV**

Edward said goodbye when the movie was over and after I'd walked him to my door, he finished our date with a truly five star kiss. Practice evidently makes perfect. It made me wonder what other delights we could perfect. I said goodbye and Edward promised to call me tomorrow. I watched his car drive off into the night and thoughtfully closed the door.

Alice told me once that there were no secrets among their family, what with her visions, Edward's mindreading, and all of their super human senses. At the time, I didn't realize that my personal business was sure to be common knowledge among the Cullens as well.

Now that I thought about it, in the past Edward had never taken me over to the Cullen household when I was on my period. He would spend that time with me at my father's house, or we'd go for a walk in the forest, usually up to our meadow. I only figured out the correlation when I realized that I never had to dispose of sanitary items over there. In planning ahead, I recognized I couldn't just put those sorts of things in a bathroom trash can at casa de Cullen, so I took to carrying around a little zip-lock baggie. I figured I'd just throw it away when I got home. But I never had to use it. I bet Edward was keeping me out of harm's way in case my "different" scent was a little too alluring.

Ew. It makes me want to buy a case of FDS.**

But Edward had been very gentlemanly about it. He was concerned I wasn't feeling well and tactfully broached the subject in a caring and loving way. It's revelations like this that just made me love him more. He'd be worth changing for. At least we wouldn't have to worry about menstrual cycles afterwards.

The next morning dawned a beautiful September day. It actually was September 13th, my birthday, a day I never liked to celebrate and really hated it now. Especially for the past five years, since it also marked the anniversary of my own personal D-Day; the day that I was deserted by the Cullens, soon followed by Edward.

I blushed to think how ungracious I was to my family and friends back in those days when my birthday rolled around. Poor Edward would have laid the moon at my feet had I let him. And I wouldn't let him. Very vociferously, so. I was sort of bitchy about it, to my utter regret. Now I realize that people who love you get great pleasure out of showing you they do and it is selfish not to let them express their feelings. Yes, I've grown up a bit since then.

I was glad but a little surprised that neither Edward nor Alice had mentioned my birthday to me. I couldn't hope that they had forgotten it. Vampires, like elephants, simply couldn't forget. Perhaps they remembered how I hated to be celebrated and were respecting it. I was relieved in a way but I also felt as though I was in suspense, waiting for that birthday ball to drop.

My mother called me at 8 am, telling me she couldn't wait any longer to sing me the happy birthday song, and so she did. I had received a card from her in the mail the day before with a small gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond and the express suggestion that I spend it on my new home. Thanks, Mom!

We chatted about school and she told me about her kindergarten class and their antics and soon said our goodbyes. I didn't mention that I had run into the Cullens. She didn't know them, really, and probably wouldn't have been happy that I was dating Edward again, so I took the coward's way out and didn't tell her.

Dad, however, was harder to bamboozle. He called at nine a.m. (That's six a.m. his time. I guess he couldn't wait to wish me a happy birthday, either. Or he had fish to catch.) I guess it was the policeman in him that heard the hesitation in my voice when he asked if I had met any friends and followed up with questions until he had ferreted out exactly what I didn't really want to tell him just now.

"The CULLENS live in Winchester?!"

"Yes, Dad."

I heard him mumble an expletive.

"Is Edward there, too?" he demanded to know.

I hesitated, "Yes, Dad."

His voice got louder and I think he growled at me. "Damn it! Bella, you stay away from him. He brought you nothing but trouble."

"It was all a misunderstanding, Dad."

"Misunderstanding? You don't desert your girlfriend without a word, Bella. Don't let HIM break your heart again. He's not good for you, Bella."

"Dad," I was panicking, "He is a good man! Our separation hurt him as much as it did me."

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SEEING HIM AGAIN?"

Crap.

"Yes."

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, I….I… I just don't know what to say to you. Of all the stupid things to do again!"

"DAD! Now, you listen to me. I am a grown woman and I can make my own decisions. Edward and I sat down and laid out rules so that what happened five years ago won't happen again."

"Bella….I don't know. Can you trust him?"

"Dad!"

"Don't 'Dad' me! Can you?"

"That was one of our rules, so yes. I am giving him a chance to prove himself."

Dad snorted. "Prove himself! I'd say he already did that. He proved himself to be a rotten bastard."

"DAD! I am not going to let you speak badly about Edward. He is a good man and what happened all those years ago was a misunderstanding. We've straightened all that out."

"Hmmmfph."

"Dad, tell me the truth. If Mom had come to you five years after she left and asked for you to give it another chance, would you have taken her back?"

Silence.

"That's different."

"What's different about it?"

"Well, mainly, we had been married and we had you. I'd have done anything to have you back in my home."

"Oh, Dad. I love you."

"Ditto, Bella." He was thinking he had won.

"But, Dad, let's look at it this way, if I hadn't have been born, and Renee came back, you would have tried again, wouldn't have you?"

He paused once more and victory slipped out of his reach. "Well, yes."

"So, I am giving Edward the same chance you would have loved to give mom. He makes me happy, Dad."

"And he also has the ability to make you miserable, too."

"That's the chance we take, isn't it Dad? I don't want to live the rest of my life regretting I didn't try again."

"Well, I want to talk to him."

"Talk to him? What do you want to talk to him about?"

"That's for me to know."

"Dad! Don't try to mess this up."

"If his intentions are good, then you have nothing to worry about."

I sighed but I realized my Dad would let this go.

"I'll ask him to call you."

"Make sure he does."

"Okay, Dad."

"Well, happy birthday again, Bella, and be careful!"

"Yes, Dad. Love you."

"Love you, too, honey."

Oh, geesh. I stared at my phone for a minute trying to figure out how to ask Edward to call my dad. Before I could think of anything, my doorbell rang. Shoot. I was still in my pjs. Didn't Edward say he was going to call me, not just come over?

I went to the door and there was a deliveryman standing there with a vase of multicolored freesias. He handed it to me with a smile and I thanked him, then wondered how in the world Edward got anyone to deliver something on a Sunday because, of course, the flowers were from Edward. I was definitely feeling swoony.

There was a card attached to the vase. I carefully opened it and read,

**I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet ) I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you**

**here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart**

**i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)**

**e.e. cummings**

**e.e. cummings perfectly said what I perfectly feel.**

**Happy Birthday, My Bella,**

**Edward**

* A lyric from the Righteous Brother's Unchained Melody. It was the song that Bella and Edward danced to on their first date.

** FDS – Feminine Deodorant Spray. Deodorant for the crotch and highly unnecessary if a woman baths regularly.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Chapter 12 Happy Birthday?**

* * *

AN: Disclaimer: I didn't write Twilight or invent its characters and universe. I did borrow them for a while.

Thank you, kind readers. I am truly flattered at your response. :)

Yes. It's Bella's birthday. She gets surprised.

Chapter 12: Happy Birthday?

***BPOV

I decided to put the freesias on my bedside table. Perhaps they would perfume my dreams. I reread the poem and sighed. I couldn't wait for Edward to come to visit me again but when I looked out of my bedroom window and saw the sun shining brightly, illuminating every blade of grass and leafy tree, throwing the Blue Ridge Mountains into hazy relief in the distance, I knew that probably wouldn't be the case today. The sun would keep him away. I was surprised at how disappointed I was.

After moping for a few minutes, I decided to make the most of the weather and put on a pair of cut off shorts and my bikini top, slather on the sun screen, then go out and read a book in the back yard. Pulling my hair up into a high pony tail, I grabbed my latest bit of literary fluff, my cell phone, an old comforter and headed out.

I was just getting comfortable when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Happy Birthday, Bella." I was instantly liquid mush inside.

My voice softened, "Thank you for the flowers, Edward. Especially, thank you for the poem. It was perfect."

"It was my pleasure, Bella. I wanted to deliver them myself but…"

"I know, it's a sunny day."

"Right. Unfortunately, that means we can't see each other until night fall."

"You can't sneak over here?"

"I could but that would be trusting that someone wouldn't accidently see me. It is no use tempting luck more than I already do. I promise to make it up to you tonight. But in the meanwhile, what are you doing today?"

"Actually, I am basking in the sun. It feels wonderful."

"You didn't forget to wear sunscreen, did you?"

"No, Edward. I wouldn't forget that. That's a pretty big mistake for a human as fair as I am. I'd be as red as a lobster in five minutes."

He laughed, "Now that would be cute, I think. I like when you are red faced."

"I just wouldn't be red-faced, Edward, I'd be red all over! Painfully so."

"Your _whole body_ would burn?"

"Yes." I said apologetically. I hated being so lily white.

"Your whole body, though? Bella, just exactly what do you have on?"

Not understanding why he asked that question, I said, "Coppertone."

"No. I meant clothing wise."

Understanding dawned and I decided to tease him, "Ohhhh, my back yard is pretty private, so…"

"Bella! You're not sunbathing in the nude!"

"No one can see me." I teased.

He actually growled, "Sunshine be damned. I am coming over there."

"And see me nude?"

He paused. And paused.

"You are teasing me."

"Yes, I am."

"Bella…," he sounded disappointed and a little frustrated.

I decided to tease him a little further, "You know, I wonder what you'd look like if you decided to sunbathe in the nude."

"Ugh. Not very appealing. I'd look like I was trying too hard at a glitter convention. I doubt you could stand the glare."

"Hmmm. I don't know about that. Sounds like something I'd really like to see. After all, you have a _for real_ disco stick."

He gasped, "BELLA!" He was scandalized and I laughed my butt off.

"You are asking for it, Bella." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I know. I am very bad."

"Yes, you definitely are." I heard him swallow, "So - changing the subject on purpose here – before you decided to risk skin cancer, how has your day been?"

"I have just been hanging around the house. Oh…." I remembered my parents' phone calls. "Renee and Charlie called me to wish me a happy birthday."

"That's nice. How are they?"

"The same as ever. But…" I paused, still not able to figure out how to ask Edward to call my Dad.

"But?"

"Edward, I told Charlie that you and I were dating again."

He was quiet for a bit, "I am sure that was a shock."

"He wasn't precisely happy."

"I bet he wasn't. I didn't treat you very well the last he knew."

"Oh, Edward, I told him that's all behind us. He'll come around, I hope. There is one thing, though…"

He waited for me to finish.

I lowered my voice and said, "He wants to talk to you."

"Okay. I understand. I will call him as soon as I get off the phone with you."

"Edward, don't let anything he says upset you. He's just overprotective and he doesn't want me to get hurt."

"That's perfectly understandable, Bella. Don't worry. I will be respectful."

"I know you will, Edward, but _he _probably won't."

Edward _laughed, "_I deserve whatever he gives me, Bella. He has a right to, as they say, "rip me a new one."

"Oh, Edward, I am sorry in advance. Just remember, I love you and nothing he can say can change that."

"I know, Bella. I love you, too. Now, I am going to say goodbye so I can call your Dad. May I come over tonight?"

"Please do."

***EPOV

My conversation with Charlie was understandably strained but he had every right to be suspicious and distrustful. I think the only reason he didn't rush to Bella's side to yank her away from me is the fact that he knew that Bella would most likely yank back – quite hard. He told me that he would, without any hesitation, make my life a living hell if I so much caused Bella to shed a tear.

He also asked me what my intentions were. That was an easy question. Where Bella and my relationship went was completely, one hundred percent her choice. I'd be in her life as much or as little as she wished, for as long as she wished. I told Charlie that I had no shadow of a doubt that Bella was the only one for me but I wasn't going to assume that she felt the same. I assured Charlie that me and my family would be looking out for her no matter what happened. He seemed to be appeased by my response.

I discovered last night all fathers have a habit of being protective of their children, even immortal ones.

Yesterday, when I got back from Bella's, I sought out Carlisle and asked him his opinion about me researching vampirism; specifically, my going to the Volturi and searching through their extensive library there.

Carlisle was worried about that. He said that Aro, the chief Volturi, had a gift. He could read every thought a person had ever had if he touched them. Carlisle didn't think it was such a good idea for me to be within his reach.

If Aro read my mind, he would discover all the secrets our family was keeping from the Volturi: my mind reading ability, Alice's psychic abilities, and Jasper's control over other people's emotions. Those alone would pique Aro's acquisitive interest.

But our biggest and most dangerous secret was Bella and her knowledge of us. That would be his excuse to come to Virginia – to punish the Cullen family and kill Bella – but he would 'show mercy' by saving Alice, Jasper and me for his own uses. We didn't need Alice to foresee that.

"Is there another library, Carlisle that would be worth visiting?"

"The Volturi's have the most extensive collection but why go to a library when you can go to the source?" Carlisle asked. "The Romanians in Transylvania are even older than the Volturi. However, they are famous deceivers and no one in the past could ever get the truth out of them. They believe that their knowledge is their power so they don't share.

"But, Edward, the beauty of it is you could simply read their minds. If you were cagey about it, you could probably find all the information you'd ever need. They couldn't deceive you and you could find out what they know about vampire origins and ancient history. Honestly, you'd probably learn more from them that you ever would in Italy."

So, I decided to make arrangements to fly to Europe next week. I spent the rest of the night planning my itinerary. After conferring with Alice about the weather, I discovered the best time to fly out would be early Monday morning.

The Romanians were old fashioned and so Carlisle wrote a letter of introduction, since they were very old acquaintances. Even better, he called an old friend of his, Rüdiger, who lived in Berlin and occasionally would visit the Romanians. He arranged that I would first fly to Berlin, meet up with his friend, then the two of us would travel on to Romania. Hopefully, I could ferret out what information I could and follow any leads I was given. On my way back, I would stop in Chicago to examine my personal history – and then, I could lay all my research at Bella's feet, hold my breath, and hope she'd choose me.

Meanwhile, I had a birthday to celebrate. I remembered how much Bella hated her birthdays but I couldn't help myself. I needed to make sure that she knew her existence was of ultimate importance to me. Besides, it wasn't often I could get away with being a sappy romantic and underneath all this sparkly skin? That's exactly what I was.

The flowers were a lucky find. Bella's fragrance was always reminiscent of freesias and so I was happy to find some available for delivery the morning of her birthday. I had ordered them a week ago.

I had another special delivery for her. I stood in the music room at my house for a moment trying to locate the positions of my family. I heard some rhythmic knocking coming from Emmett and Rosalie's room so they were – preoccupied. Alice and Jasper weren't at home. Carlisle and Esme were talking in their bedroom. Carlisle was remarking on how much he enjoyed…ugh… well, I wouldn't have to worry about them, either.

I got busy on Bella's second present.

***BPOV

I had to admit, I was anxious about the call Edward was making to Charlie. I knew Charlie could be harsh but at this point, I didn't think he could drive Edward away from me – or me from him. I just didn't want my two men hating each other.

To distract myself, I decided that I needed to mow the grass. My landlord had a lawnmower in the garage that he said I could use. There was a can of gasoline in there as well. I figured out how to start the thing and started pushing it across the lawn. I finished it in about an hour without any mishaps, can you imagine? After I put away the mower, I went back inside the house to discover that I had two messages on my voice mail made while I was mowing, one from Charlie and one from Renee.

Grrr, parents! I was being double teamed.

I opted to take a shower before I'd listen to the messages. I was being a coward, of course. Then, I decided to paint my toe nails. After that, I decided to blow dry my hair. Then… then, I decided I needed to woman up and listen to the messages.

I gingerly pressed the button. The first call was from Renee.

"Bella! Your father just called me to tell me you were dating Edward Cullen again! Besides, being upset with you for not telling me this yourself (can you imagine, you told Charlie about a relationship thing before you told me! You'll never hear the end of this, you know), I am clearly very worried that Edward will do the same thing this time that he did the last. Can you trust him? Don't let him take advantage of you! Call me when you get a chance. I want to hear more!"

I sighed. That wasn't as bad as it could have been.

My voice mail continued on with Charlie's message. Surprisingly, he sounded subdued.

"Bella, I just wanted you to know that Edward called me. I have to say, I was impressed with the way he handled himself. I guess he's not quite such a rotten bastard as I thought. But anyway, seems he's grown up some since he left Forks. I still feel a little uneasy about you hanging around him again, but I will trust your judgment, Bella. If you ever need me, call me. And I mean that. For anything. Love, Dad."

He always signed off voice mails and emails the same way, "Love, Dad," as if he was signing a letter. It liked it, though. It was completely Charlie and he really did mean what he said.

His response was such a load off my shoulders. I finished getting dressed and then called Mom. After I answered her initial concerns, all she really wanted to know is how we met up again and how I felt about it. I simply told her that I ran into Alice one day and was invited over their house. I told her that after Edward explained himself we sort of picked up where we left off but with some ground rules. She seemed satisfied but suggested that I should listen to my heart as well as my head. Trust mom to say that. She was a firm believer in letting her heart rule her life. I wasn't convinced that was the best way to go, especially in my case. I spent the remaining hours until Edward would come trying to unsuccessfully read a book but for some reason, all I could think about was how intensely loving Edward's golden eyes were when he looked at me.

About an hour before twilight, there was another knock at my door, and this time a delivery man handed me a package. I opened it and found a CD. There was a simple note attached that only said, "With all my love, Edward." I popped the CD into my player and soon heard a piano, then Edward's voice singing Robert Burn's "My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose."

0, my love is like a red, red rose, that's newly sprung in June. 0, my love is like a melody, that's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair thou art, my bonnie lass, so deep in love am I, And I will love thee still, my dear, till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear, and the rocks melt wi' the sun! And I will love thee still, my dear, while the sands of time shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only love! And fare thee well awhile! And I will come again, my love. Tho it were ten thousand mile!

This man was going to be the death of me. (Maybe literally as well as figuratively.) I was just pressing replay when my door bell rang and there stood Edward in the gloaming, handsome, beautiful, and all mine.

Okay, I'll admit it. This time I threw myself into his arms and I think I gave him my own version of the kiss of all kisses. He chuckled and held me closely. "You like that?" he tilted his head towards the music.

"Oh, Edward. I do. So much." I kissed him again.

He seemed to enjoy himself but soon broke off and said, "I have some other things for you, Bella."

"Oh, it's too much! The flowers, the song, the poem, they're all wonderful. They're enough."

He smiled that dazzling, crooked smile that I've always loved and shook his head, "No, Bella, those were just the preliminaries. Here's what they've been leading up to." He handed me a long jewelry case.

"Edward, oh Edward." I didn't know what to say. I had grown up. I stopped being such a backwards child about accepting gifts as I was when Edward first met me. But really, he'd already done so much. I know Edward could see the conflict on my face.

"It's just a little thing, Bella. It was my mother's. Consider it a hand-me down. It would be wonderful to see you wear something of hers. My memories of her are important to me. They are the only thing I can clearly remember from my human life. Please, Bella?"

He handed me the box. My hands were shaking as I took it. I opened the case and gasped. Nestled inside was a heart-shaped diamond pendant hanging from a silver chain. It was beautiful. "It's lovely, Edward. I've never seen anything like it. Could you help me put it on?"

I turned and he gently placed the necklace around my neck, fastened it, then pulled me in front of the mirror that hung above the mantel. I could see the diamond sparkle in the soft lamp light, laying on my chest right over my own heart. Edward stood behind me, his hands on my shoulders and I watched his expression as he looked at my reflection in the mirror. "It's beautiful, Edward. Thank you."

He smiled, "Yes, - beautiful." But he wasn't looking at the necklace, he was looking at me. And of course, I blushed. And he smiled.

"Come here," he grabbed my hand and led me over to our old faithful sofa and sat down.

"I have some presents from the family."

I chocked a little, determined to be gracious, "That's very sweet of them."

"Wait right here. I'll be right back."

In literally two seconds he'd gone outside and returned holding two presents and a _Tupperware_ _cake carrier. _

"What's that?" I pointed at the Tupperware.

Edward looked apprehensive, "Esme baked you a birthday cake. Lemon flavored."

Oh, oh. "Did you say anything about the lasagna, Edward?"

"No. Not a word except how grateful you were about all her hard work and consideration."

I opened the other presents and was thrilled to find Alice and Jasper had given me a variety of bath salts for my fabulous bath tub. It really helped that Alice can see what I'd like before I even got it. Rosalie and Emmett gave me a book of movie passes.

"Emmett and Rosalie like to go to the movies," Edward said by way of explanation.

"I like the movies, too. It's a great gift. Besides, you can share it with me." I smiled up at him but he didn't say anything, just shrugged noncommittally. Hmmm. What did that mean?

Now it was time for the moment of truth. I picked up the cake carrier and took it to the kitchen, put it on the counter and pried off the lid.

The cake was beautiful. It had two layers and a light yellow frosting. "It looks gorgeous. I'll cut a slice right now." When I sat down, I began to stab at the cake, when the memory of that lasagna flashed brilliantly through my mind. I decided to take a small taste, first. I stuck my finger in the frosting, held it to my nose and inhaled. It smelt lemony and fresh. Then, I stuck that finger in my mouth.

It was SALTY.

I mean, like Dead Sea Salty.

I mean, like sucking down a salt shaker salty.

Again, with the spitting into a napkin.

Again, with the futile question, "Edward, what did she put in it?"

Again, he didn't know.

Again, we had to throw the whole thing away.

"I think she mixed the sugar with the salt," I said.

"What?"

"You know sugar and salt look pretty close to the same, right?"

"Yes. She's got all her spices and baking goods in plastic containers so they won't lose their potency."

"I bet she's mixed up the salt and sugar canisters."

"Bella, you've got to talk to her. The longer you put it off the more she will make you and the harder it is going to be."

"You're right, Edward. I'll talk to her," I sighed.

"In the meanwhile, we should go out and get you some birthday cake."

"That's not necessary. I am fine without it."

"No, Bella, I insist." Since I sort of really did want a piece of cake for my birthday, I let Edward drag me out to his car and drive me to a diner that wasn't too far way.

We pulled into Mae's Coffee Spot and soon found ourselves settled snuggly into a booth in the back of the dining room. Edward ordered two coffees and one piece of Coconut Cake. The waitress happily complied. She brought two forks.

"I feel like such a pig when I eat in front of you," I said.

"Don't worry about what other people think. I'll make it look like I had my share." He proceeded to pick his fork up, spear a bite of the cake, then held it to my lips. I smiled at him and parted my lips, not taking my eyes off his, and slowly licked my bottom lip. His eyes darkened three shades.

I slowly put my mouth around the morsel and shut my lips, pulling it off of the fork, then chewed and swallowed, still staring into his eyes, again licking my lips afterwards. That little performance darkened his eyes another three shades. His eyes darted from my lips to my own eyes and he softly growled at me, "Bella, behave."

I grinned wickedly at him, "I am behaving. Sort of." I picked up my fork and grabbed another bite of the cake. It was delicious. "It's too bad you wouldn't like this. It's the best coconut cake I've ever had."

"Watching you enjoy it is pleasure enough, even when you try to torment me."

"_Do or do not. There is no try_."

"_Star Wars_."

"You got that! It's no wonder that I am in love you."

He smirked at me. "Oh, you love me for my mad skills at knowing movie lines? I thought it was for my 'disco stick'."

I felt my cheeks turn scarlet, "Edward, I was teasing."

He chuckled, "Two can play at that game. I love to make you blush."

I took another bite of the cake, "I wish I could make you blush."

"You make me do other things."

"Like what?"

"I'll show you one day."

"I wish you could show me tonight."

He sighed, "I do, too. But there are a couple of reasons why we can't Bella."

"There are?" I was a little disappointed, though I knew I was the cause of one of them.

"Yes. The biggest one is that I am catching a flight to Berlin at 4:30 am. I have to leave for the airport by 11:00."

I gasped. This news hurt.

"You're leaving so soon?" I put my fork down suddenly not hungry any longer.

He took my hand and said, "Bella, I know it is sudden but Alice said that tomorrow morning is the most favorable time for me to travel. I will fly to Berlin to meet a friend of Carlisle's who will then introduce me to the Transylvanians."

"They know more than a library?"

"Vampires never forget, Bella, and these two know it all. Carlisle convinced me that they would be better than the Volturis."

I grasped his hand with both of mine, "It still sounds dangerous to me, Edward. Please be careful. You'll have to call me or write me emails. Text me! Everyday. Maybe twice a day. Oh, hell. Don't go!" I released his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Bella, I have to go. I have to get hard facts that you need in order for you to decide on eternity. That's the only wise thing for us to do."

I sighed. The longer he was around me – and face it, the more often he sent me flowers and poetry – the less I felt I needed to know. Renee's suggestion that I follow my heart rang in my head. But I knew that acting solely on a 'feeling' wasn't wise, as 'feelings' so often aren't based on good judgment. I would have to buckle down, focus on the facts and let Edward discover the truth for us. He'd be back soon.

I stood up from the table and said, "Let's go home. I don't want to miss a minute of your company and what I want to do with you, we can't really do here."

Soon, we were curled on my sofa, kissing as if our lives depended upon it. I wished I wasn't 'out of commission,' else I'd be sorely tempted to give us both something to really remember. But as it was, our kisses were pretty epic and I made sure to squirm against him while I was sitting on his lap. He retaliated by lightly grazing his hand across my bare back, giving me epic goose bumps to go with the epic kisses.

The clock ticked closer to Edward's departure time until he suddenly stood, kissed me hard once more, then he was out the door, in his car and gone. I went upstairs, threw myself on my bed and cried like a baby. I already missed him.

When I woke up the next morning to get ready for school I had a text from Edward: _Arrived in DC and am boarding the plane. The next text I'll send from the other side of the pond. I love you. –E_

I stumbled through my day like any other day. The students were able to take my mind off of sad thoughts and I was feeling better by the end of the school day.

Edward sent me another text: _Arrived in Berlin. No problems. Getting a car to take me to Rüdiger's. When would be a good time to call you? I miss you. -E_

I texted him to call me after four my time. I couldn't wait to hear his voice.

But, I still had work to do. There was a short faculty meeting after classes, so I went up to the Media Center and sat down in a seat near the back windows. I looked around at my fellow faculty members while I waited for my principal to call the meeting to order. I hadn't met too many people outside of my department and I was interested in meeting more of my colleagues. The new teachers had been introduced en masse at the beginning of the school year but it seemed like a sea of faces to me.

Now, after a few weeks, I was beginning to recognize a few people. I was watching my principal as he approached the podium when the chair next to me was pulled out, someone sat down and I turned to smile into the warmest brown eyes and brightest smile I'd ever seen.

It was only natural to smile brightly back. The young man was tall, dark complected, and had long, blue-black hair worn in a neat pony tail at the nape of his neck. He extended his hand, "Hello, and welcome to Virginia. I am new to James Wood but have been teaching in the county for a couple of years. I've wanted to introduce myself since I first saw you.

"My name is Jacob Black."

AN: Damn. He showed up. Now what is he going to do to throw a monkey wrench in this thing?

Please leave a review to encourage me to figure that out? Thank you.

* * *

**Chapter 13: Chapter 13 There's something About Jake**

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AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe and its characters. I don't claim then.

Thank you for all of you who put this story on alert, favorite it, and left reviews. That keeps me going.

Chapter 13 There's Something About Jake

M.E.L.,

I just left your warm embrace and sweet kisses and I already feel the loss. I don't know when I will taste them again and to feel your arms around me. Do you know how right it feels to hold you in my own? It is as if after wandering the heavens, empty and alone, finally my planet has found its true orbit around you, my sun. The universe shook and then you were there, filling every part of me with warmth and light.

The journey I am undertaking will hopefully reveal to us the answers we need to plot the course of our future. My hope is to be back by your side in days rather than weeks. The gravity of our situation over shadows my hope for a blissful and happy life with you. May it all settle out to be the way we desire.

Please take good care of yourself while I am gone, Bella. If you have any needs, just call Carlisle and he will be delighted to assist you.

And don't forget the Sunscreen.

Edward

The first letter I received from Edward arrived two days after he left and I received a letter from him every day after that until he returned home. These weren't email. These weren't text messages. These were honest to goodness handwritten love letters written upon crisp stationery and folded into thick envelopes. I studied his writing. It was as if every stroke of the pen was a caress, every dot of an "I," a kiss. He wrote me poems. He wrote me ballads. He wrote me prose. Each letter exulted in the love he had for me. If I held the missive to my nose, I could detect that irresistible scent that was his. This man had turned mere correspondence into an act of love. I now understood why our grandmothers tied their love letters up with ribbon and tucked them away in trunks to save and be savored over and over again. Words like these should be treasured for eternity.

He started each letter with the initials "M.E.L." I pondered what M.E.L. meant. Most Everyone Loses? Mighty Earthen Levelers? May Evening Last? Monkeys Eat Lemons?

Actually, I had a good idea. My E..something Love. My Every Love? My Eventual Love? The E had me guessing. Enchilada? Elephant? Eggplant?

He texted me often, usually telling me of his location and what he was doing. His texts were much more exciting than mine. Mine usually said, "Going to work." "At work." "Doing laundry." "Going to bed." But I always added, "Missing you. Love you."

I didn't mention to him that I had met someone from Forks. It seemed trivial but I wasn't to know just how untrivial Jacob Black was going to become in our lives.

After the faculty meeting, Jacob asked me if I had time for a cup of coffee. I hesitated but when he explained he knew me from Forks, I had to agree. I followed him to Mae's, the same place Edward and I had been to on my birthday.

"Bella, I knew it was you! I wasn't sure when they introduced the new teachers to the faculty but when I called my Dad later on and asked him if Charlie Swan's daughter was teaching in Virginia, he said you were. There couldn't be two Bella Swans in the world, now could there?"

"I guess not. It's a small world, isn't it? Did we ever meet?"

"Sure! I was the one who rebuilt the engine on that old Chevy truck you used to drive."

"No way! I remember you now. You've changed." The Jacob I recalled was a short, skinny boy and this Jacob was anything but. Jake was now tall and muscular and really quite handsome.

He smirked, "Yeah. I've filled out. You still look pretty much the same beautiful girl you have always been."

I know I blushed, "Oh, geesh. Thanks." Quickly changing the subject, I asked, "How's your Dad doing?"

"Billy's doing okay. Rachel lives on the rez now and she looks after him even though he swears he doesn't need looking after. He and your dad still go fishing all the time."

"Yeah. Dad mentions that when we talk."

I picked up my coffee cup and took a sip, thinking that life was very strange sometimes, "So, how did you end up here in Winchester?"

Jake leaned back in the booth and smiled at me, "I did pretty well in high school, so when colleges came looking, it was easy for me to get a scholarship. I wanted to spread my wings a bit and applied all over the US. Virginia Tech offered me a full ride. I double majored in Forestry and Agriculture. I figured if one didn't pan out the other would. The school system here recruited me right from Tech and so that's how I got here. I am teaching Vocational Agriculture at Wood. I like it."

"Don't you miss home?"

"Well, yeah. One day I'll go back for good but right now, I am enjoying my wild bachelorhood."

"You'd best be careful, Jake, else a sweet Virginian girl will change your mind."

"Nah. I am only interested in Washington State Girls. Anyone else would shrivel up in the wet."

I laughed remembering rarely being dry when I lived with Charlie, "You've got a point there."

I almost started to tell him about the Cullens also being here but at the last minute changed my mind. I didn't know whether he knew of them when he was in Forks, as well. It would be hard to explain their continued enrollment in high school here.

We chatted a few more minutes and then went our separate ways.

I was just going to bed when Edward called.

"Bella." Hearing his voice and knowing I couldn't be with him was both euphoric and agonizing.

"Edward. Oh, how I miss you. It seems like that's all I say to you anymore."

"I love hearing it. I miss you, too."

"What have you been doing?"

"While we are waiting to hear from the Romanians, I have been spending my time getting to know Carlisle's friend, Rüdiger. He's quite a gregarious soul. In his human life he was a brew master. His biggest disappointment in his vampire existence is that beer is so totally unappetizing to him. He's been seeking a way to brew some sort of blood beer for decades."

I shuddered to hear that, "He's not trying to use human blood, is he?"

"No. At least he claims he doesn't. He's not a vegetarian, though."

"Ah. It's probably a very good thing I stayed home."

"Most definitely. I'd never let you out of my reach."

"I wish you could reach me right now." I admit, I was sounding a little whiney.

He chuckled, "I do, too. I will come back soon, Bella, and then I hope I never have to let you go."

"It will be a little hard to teach with you hanging on to me 24/7. I am sure my principal would have something to say about it."

"I am sure he would because I know I couldn't just 'hang on to you.' There'd be some inappropriate touching, too."

"Inappropriate touching? Hmmm. Like what?"

"Oh," he lowered his voice, "I am sure my hands would gravitate to their favorite places."

I was thinking that he hadn't ever touched some of my favorite places but I was hopeful that would change soon, "Places they've actually experienced or places they've thought about experiencing?"

He actually groaned, "Both, Bella. Both."

I sighed happily, "You're sure to get me fired … but what a way to go!"

I decided we'd better change the subject, "So, is Rüdiger going to help you?"

"Actually, yes. He's anxious to see how the Transylvanians will take me. Seems they don't get many visitors."

"Why's that?"

"Basically, it's because they live the myth and the myth is uncomfortable."

"The myth?"

"Yep. Drafty old castles, dungeons, bats, coffins, scared humans. Not much fun."

I shuddered, "Well, be careful, Edward."

"I will be. Don't worry."

"Okay. I'll try not to."

"So, anything exciting happen to you?"

"Actually, nothing very exciting but I did meet someone today who is from Forks of all places."

"Forks! That's sort of scary. Anyone I'd know?"

"Did you go down to the reservation much?"

"No. Why?"

"Because Jacob Black is a Quileute and he lived in La Push."

"Jacob Black?"

"You know him?"

"No, but I bet I know his family. Please give my siblings a heads up. They may want to steer clear of him, just in case he may recognize them."

"Okay. Oh, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"What does M.E.L. mean?"

"You figure it out."

"No, really. Tell me."

"It's something that I hope is true." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"And…?"

"You need to guess."

"I hate guessing."

"Think about it. You'll get it. Goodnight, my Bella."

We rang off and I sat there thinking. I hope that Jacob didn't recognize any of the Cullens. Could the E stand for Endearing?

Alice had my class just before lunch. I stopped by her desk during some seat work and quietly asked her to stay a little later at the end of class so we could talk. I wanted to tell her about Jake.

When the bell rang and the students emptied into the hallway, she lingered by my desk. Alice looked at me curiously and I said, "Have you met Mr. Black, the VoAg teacher?" Just then, Alice's gaze went distant and she gasped, then looked at the doorway. In walked Jake.

Oh crap.

He said with a big smile at me, "I was passing this way and just had a spur of the moment idea to stop in and say hello..." he began, then he saw Alice and stopped, looking at her in surprise.

I could tell by his expression that he was confused.

Double crap.

Alice hurriedly said, "Excuse me," and dashed out of the door.

My first thought was to wonder what was going on in Jake's mind as we both watched her leave. He turned to me and asked, "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"No, don't worry. I can talk to her later. It wasn't that important."

"She one of your students?"

"Yes. She's a very good one."

"Ah." He had a puzzled look on his face and his nose scrunched up, "Does she smell a little funny to you?"

"Does she _smell_ funny to me? No! That's a strange question."

"I don't know, her perfume just seems to be unpleasantly cloying," he shrugged.

"Hmmm. I didn't smell anything at all."

"It's nothing. I have an acute sense of smell. It's hard to work in agriculture sometimes with this ability."

I smiled, "Why's that?"

"Manure and agriculture go hand in hand sometimes."

We both laughed at that. He stayed for a few moments longer and then left, saying he had lunch duty. It didn't seem to me that he recognized Alice and I didn't bring her up again. I'd call her after school to tell her what I knew.

I let the incident go to the back of my mind and finished out the day as usual. I called Alice when I got home.

"Alice, why did you run out of my room so quickly this afternoon?"

"That man who came in smelled funny. He was giving me an instant headache. It was so strange. And I couldn't foresee any of that happening. Who was he?"

"He smelled funny? He said the same about you. His name is Jacob Black. He's a teacher at Wood but he's from Forks, Washington! Did you recognize him?"

"No. I don't remember seeing – or smelling – him before."

"Edward seemed to think that you needed to know that he is here. He's a member of the Quileute Tribe in La Push."

"Oh. There's something about that…" she paused, "I need to talk to Carlisle. It's probably nothing but it could be serious."

We said goodbye and ended our conversation. Her last statement worried me. When the Cullens ran into people who recognized them from a previous incarnation, they usually left town. I felt an old pain grip my heart. I hope they didn't leave me behind this time.

Wait a minute! That thought shocked me. Was I thinking I would leave Winchester if the Cullens did? Did I work so hard to get to where I was only to give it up because of Edward? Holy Smokes. What am I thinking? Truly, my heart and my brain were in conflict.

I changed out of my school clothes into some comfy jeans and a dark blue long sleeved tee shirt. I loved how Edward's necklace looked against the blue. I put my hand over the diamond and sighed.

If you had asked me two weeks ago what the state of my heart would be now, there would have been no way in hell I'd have told you "head over heels in love with Edward Cullen." I'd built up many walls and defenses, pushing down any feelings I had for him over the years. But, to be honest, those feelings were always, always there. I just wouldn't admit them to myself. I had suppressed my feelings for Edward because it was the only way I could survive his absence from my life.

What in hell was I going to do if he left me again? For that matter, what was I going to do if _I _told him to go?

My phone rang. It was Carlisle.

"Bella, we are having a family meeting. Could you come?"

"Is this about Jacob Black?"

"Yes."

"And you want me to tell you what I know about him?"

"Yes. But we want you here because, Bella, you are a part of this family."

Twenty minutes later I was seated with the rest of the Cullens in the same room we had met in on the day they asked me to go to Alaska to save Edward. Jasper was connecting a laptop to the flat screened TV that was on the wall above the mantel. He then adjusted what I recognized as a webcam so that it focused on my side of the room. In a few seconds, Edward appeared on the television. My heart started to race and I know blushed.

Edward smiled and softly said, "Hello, Bella."

Emmett barked a laugh and said, "Edward, Bella's not the only person here tonight."

Edward scoffed, "I can't help that she's all I ever see." He continued to smile at me.

I heard Rosalie snigger.

Was I scarlet now? "Um, hi, Edward."

Jasper was panning the rest of the room now, then returned the camera so it was pointing at Carlisle who was sitting next to me. I looked at the T.V. screen and could see that Jasper made sure I was still in the frame. I supposed he was doing Edward a favor. The fact I could see Edward in the flesh was about all I could think about right now. I was staring at him, gazing into his eyes that seemed to be looking deeply into my own. Dang, he could dazzle me from half way around the world! I slightly shook my head and sighed. I heard a small laugh and looked up to see Esme smiling broadly at me. She was loving my display of love sickness.

Carlisle cleared his throat and began, "Bella, could you tell us about Jacob Black, please?"

"I don't know very much except that he teaches with me. He's from La Push, and his father is one of my father's fishing buddies. I met him a couple of times that I can remember when we were very young. Later, he was the one that fixed up that old Chevy truck I used to drive. Oh, and he's a Quileute."

Carlisle, let out a puff of air, "Most likely Jacob is a descendent of Ephraim Black, the Quileute that we made a treaty with seventy years ago."

"Treaty?" Jasper asked.

"Yes. Some Quileutes are shape shifters. Their wolf spirits protect their tribe from the "cold ones." We, I suppose you know, are the cold ones and their shape shifted wolf form is the only living being besides one of our own who can hurt, even kill, us. I believe they evolved this defense mechanism when some vampires preyed upon them centuries ago. We ran into them when we lived in Washington back in the 1930's. I was able to convince them that we didn't prey upon humans, as the hunting activities they caught us doing demonstrated and they agreed to leave us alone as long as we stayed off their land. It was a deal I was happy to make. I decided to come back to Forks eight years ago because I found that those shape shifters had died off. I am sure we are fine now.

"Alice, can you see anything to warn us off?"

Alice was curled up at Jasper's side, her eyes squeezed shut, her hand supporting her forehead, "Carlisle, I can't see anything, just a blur. This has never happened to me before."

Carlisle was concerned, "Can you see anything at all?"

"Yes. I see what Jasper's getting me as a surprise quite clearly. (Thank you, hon. I love it.) I see Edward coming home. I see Bella in the classroom. But when I try to see anything concerning Jacob Black, it's just a blank."

Jasper shrugged, used to not ever being able to surprise his wife. He suggested, "Perhaps the Quileutes invisibility to Alice is another of their defense mechanisms?"

Carlisle answered, "Quite possibly."

Suddenly, I remembered a long ago memory. I had recently moved to Forks and young Jacob and I were walking together down a rocky beach. He was entertaining me with stories of his people. He told me about the 'cold ones' and how his people were descended from wolves - and also how his people and the cold ones were mortal enemies. We laughed about it at the time but I later found out that the 'cold ones' were myth come to life. Could werewolves be a reality, too? It was too amazing to contemplate.

"I really hope we don't have to leave Winchester," Esme said, "I have some exciting renovations coming up and I'll need at least two years to complete them. But if we need to move, of course, I can give the projects to another firm."

"I don't think we need to worry about that right now," Carlisle said. "It doesn't seem as though Jacob Black knows us and the treaty and tribe we made it with is 3, 000 miles away."

Turning to the younger Cullens, he said, "Just lay low at school. None of you have him for a teacher and I believe his classroom is in another building entirely."

I heaved a sigh of relief and glanced at Edward's face on the television. His lips were turned in a small smile and he was looking speculatively at me before he turned back to Carlisle. He said, "Yes, I agree, Carlisle. I think _all _the family should steer clear of Jacob Black."

I smirked. Jealous Edward was cute but he needed to know he had nothing to worry about.

Edward spoke, "Are we finished, Carlisle?"

Carlisle looked around at his family, "Does anyone else have any concerns?" There was no answer, "Then, I believe we are finished."

Edward spoke up, "Could Bella and I continue our conversation since the rest of you are done?"

Carlisle smiled and said, "Sure, Edward. We'll give you some privacy."

Jasper showed me to a seat in front of a lap top where Skype was running. He unplugged the cables from the television, "You won't need the big screen, Bella. You and Edward can converse through the lap top quite nicely."

"Thanks, Jasper," I said, then eagerly turned to Edward on the computer screen as Jasper walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"Hello again, handsome," I smiled.

"Hello, M.E.L.," he said.

"I still can't figure out what that means," I complained.

"You can't? It's easy."

"I think the 'M' stands for 'My' and 'L' stands for 'Love' but I can't figure out the 'E.' "

"Heh. Well, I am not telling."

"Could I be wrong so far? The 'E' could stand for Edward."

"Still not telling," his eyes crinkled as he grinned at me.

"Hmmm. Mopey Edward Loses?

His smiled dimmed, "No! It's something I want."

"Okay. Magnificent Edward Loves."

He smirked, "I don't know how magnificent I am but I do love you."

"I love you, too, Edward." That exchange left us staring goopily at each other.

To lighten the tone, I asked, "Where are you now?"

"I am in Transylvania," he sounded like the Count from Sesame Street.

"Oh, okay." I mimicked his accent, "ONE Vampire, TWO Vampires, THREE Vampires…"

"Stop. That's so not funny."

"Sesame Street didn't portray your folk accurately, Edward?

"We will not talk about the Hensonites. Blasphemers, all!"

I couldn't help myself. I laughed and he joined in. When we stopped, I looked at the screen and reached over to touch his face. Oh, how I missed him.

"Bella," he whispered, "I love how my heart looks nestled between your breasts." My cheeks flamed but I said nothing, just clasped the diamond in my left hand.

"Oh, Edward. I want so badly to hold you."

"I know exactly how you feel, Bella."

I could hear a bell toll in the background over the computer speakers. "What was that?"

"I assume it is a clock tower somewhere close by. Cluj-Napoca is a quaint city. Tomorrow we are visiting the Romanian Vampires. Hopefully, I'll find out what I need to then."

"I hope you do. That means you'll be coming home sooner."

"I hope so. I have some work to do there."

"Here?"

"Yes."

"What sort of work?"

"Making sure the love of my existence doesn't miss me anymore."

"That's not work, Edward. That's pleasure."

"The best work is a pleasure, my darling."

I smiled at him. I wondered if he knew how sweet he was.

Soon, I realized how late it was getting and that I needed to go home. I had school tomorrow, no matter what. We said our goodbyes and I signed off and then went in search of someone to let them know I was leaving. I found Esme in the kitchen. This was not a good sign.

I slowly walked over to her, "Hi, Esme. Edward sends his love."

"Isn't he a dear?" She finished wrapping up something in saran wrap and put it into a bag. "Here, Bella, I made you a little something. Brownies!" She smiled delightedly.

"Oh Esme, you shouldn't have," was all I could muster.

"It was no problem. I love cooking for you. It's my pleasure," she grinned and pressed the package into my hands.

What could I do? I smiled my thanks, took the package and headed for the door. I really couldn't hurt her feelings. She was trying to make me feel welcomed and loved. Even though I couldn't eat her food, she succeeded in her goal. I did feel loved and welcomed, not just by Esme, by all the Cullens. How could I ever deserve to be one of them?

When I got home, I decided that I needed to speak to Charlie. Why didn't he tell me about Jacob living in the same town as me? Surely he knew it, so I called him.

Charlie was abashed, "Uhm. So you met him, huh?"

I was feeling a little peeved, "Yes! I felt really foolish when not only did I not know he was in Virginia, he had to remind me that we'd met several times before. Why didn't you give me a heads up?"

"Bella, it's just me being your silly dad."

I huffed, "My dad isn't silly. He's a little crazy perhaps but not silly. Now, why didn't you tell me?"

"Billy's stories about Jacob's 'activities' made me think that he wouldn't be the right sort of companion for you."

"His 'activities'? What do you mean?"

"Bella, there's something you oughta know about men. Some men look at women simply as a means to an end. They aren't bad men, they just are sowing their wild oats but they aren't the kind of men I'd like hanging around my daughter. From what Billy has told me about Jacob, I'd say he was still in the wild oats phase. Since I am not there to keep him in line, I thought it was better that you just didn't know he was there."

"Dad, you have nothing to worry about. In fact, Edward agrees with you. He doesn't want me hanging around Jake either."

"Hmmmph." Dad didn't sound too happy about that, either. Well, that was tough.

After I thought a bit, though, I said, "Thank you, Dad, for trying to look out for me. I do appreciate it."

"It's my job, Bells, even now that you are all grown up."

The next few days went by fairly quickly. I was engrossed in reading student essays. I saw on the most recent morning bulletin that Mr. Black was absent. I wondered what was up with that.

I got home to a lovely letter from Edward. He was still calling me M.E.L. and I still couldn't quite figure out what he meant by it, but his letter was enchanting. Oh, how about My Enchanting Love?

I hoped I'd get a call from him in the evening but if I didn't, perhaps that would mean he was enroute – he was on his way back to me. My heart beat faster just thinking about it.

I was day dreaming about Edward when my phone rang, causing me to jump. I looked to find it was Charlie. That was strange. I'd just talked to him the night before and it was unusual for him to call me again so soon. I answered the phone.

"Bella, have you seen Jake today?"

I was really surprised by that, "No. I know he wasn't in school, though."

"Hmmm. He was on the phone last night with Billy and said he felt sick and was running a high fever. Billy was trying to get him to the hospital but he refused to do it. Now, Billy can't get him on the phone at all. Do you think you could go over to his place and check on him?"

"Sure, Dad. Do you have his address?"

"Yeah. He lives on Leicester Street. 402. Do you know where that is?"

"I can find it, Dad. I'll call you when I get there."

I jumped into my truck and drove to the quiet residential area where I knew the street was. I slowed down trying to read the numbers on the houses. When I got to 402, I pulled my truck into the drive way behind a car I recognized as Jake's and went up to the door. There were no lights on. I knocked on the door and called out, "Jake? It's Bella. Are you here?"

There was no answer. I pushed on the door and was surprised to find it unlatched. I stuck my head in and called, "Hello? Jake? Are you home?"

It was pitch black inside and I couldn't see anything. I felt inside the doorway along the wall for the switch and flicked it on. I gasped. The light illuminated a disaster. Furniture was turned over and torn up. Pictures were knocked off the walls and I could see into the kitchen that the refrigerator was pushed over onto the floor. I didn't see or hear anyone.

"Jake?" I called out gain, this time in a panic. There was no answer.

I needed some help and I remembered Edward's letter, "If you have any needs, call Carlisle."

With shaking fingers I dialed Carlisle's cell. After just one, he picked up. "Carlisle! It's Bella. I have an emergency, I think. I am over at Jacob Black's house and it looks like it has been ransacked. I am afraid to go inside. Do you think you could help?"

God bless Carlisle for being a man of action before he asked a ton of questions. He simply said, "Of course, Bella. I'll be right there." I gave him Jake's address and went out to wait in my truck. I was trembling. I didn't want to call Charlie until we had looked through his house. Had Jake been attacked? Was he hurt? Or worse?

In a few minutes, Carlisle pulled up to the curb. I was glad to see that Emmett and Jasper were in the car with him. I rushed to meet them and we walked together towards Jake's front door. I hurriedly explained that Charlie asked me to go over to check on Jake when Jake's dad couldn't reach him. I told them that he hadn't been in school that day and according to Billy Black, he'd been running a high temperature last night. We got to the door and I pushed it open. All three of the men made a face when they followed me into the little house.

"Phew. It stinks in here," exclaimed Emmett. Jasper nodded in agreement.

Carlisle said, "Yes. It's familiar to me and it should be to you, too, Emmett. It smells like were wolf."

Just then, I heard a low growl. I turned toward the sound and gasped.

There was a huge wolf standing in the hallway staring at us, the largest damn wolf I'd ever seen. His ruff was raised and his ears were laid back. His growling increased in fury and volume as I stood there. It looked like he was getting ready to pounce.

And there was nothing standing between him and the three vampires - except for me.

AN: Thanks for reading, my friends. Please be kind and leave a review for inspiration.

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**Chapter 14: Chapter 14 What Vlady Knows**

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AN: Don't hate me. This is from Edward's point of view. He insisted it was his turn.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, just enjoying a little romp in SM's universe.

Chapter 14

*** EPOV

I was waging a campaign. It was every bit as strategic and calculated as any battle planned by Napoleon or Mac Arthur. I was determined to not only win Bella's love, which I was fairly certain I had won years ago, I was also determined to win her for all eternity.

She left me no choice. When we first fell in love, I was willing to compromise. I would trade my eternity just to be able to spend her life with her and when her life was over, mine would be, too. But now my Bella had stipulations. Now, she is unwilling to spend her human life with me due to the inequities of our existence.

It would be all or nothing for her. She would either join me in eternity or she would not join me at all and I'd have no part of her or her life. She said we could be friends but I know I could never be "just friends" with Bella. How could I be "just friends" with my soul? While I was willing to take whatever I could get, be it "just friends" or eternal soul mates, I could never burden Bella with my evident adoration when she had drawn the line at something less than forever.

Hopefully, I could find an occupation that would distract me from my internal desolation. Bella suggested that solace to me and I think that it could help me deal with the reality of a life without her.

But I truly, profoundly, earnestly wanted an eternity with her.

In the cold light of day, I suppose that some would say I was a schemer but I wasn't being devious. I was being as honest as I could possibly be. I was showing Bella as far as words could tell the extent of my love, of my devotion. In the old days, we called this courting. Now, I am not sure what young men do to win their loves. It seems to me that today the women do most of the work.

In our own situation, I realized how much I was asking Bella to give up - her family, her career, and a normal human life. My conscience cringed at that. It was such a huge cost. However, I realized now something I didn't recognize five years ago – the decision to become immortal was Bella's to make, not mine. It was her life. It was her choice.

If she chose me, though, I would spend every single day of tomorrow to ensure she never regretted it. But that choice was dependent upon all the information she felt she needed to make that decision, and so I am in Transylvania.

Rüdiger was an entertaining traveling companion. He was by nature a gregarious soul and he relished telling me stories about Vladimir and Stefan, the two vampires we were visiting.

"They are very cagey…very cagey. You can't ask them straight out what you want. They'll never tell you. They love leading folk along, never telling them anything worth knowing and leaving out exactly the most important point."

Rüdiger sat back, a frown creasing his brow, remembering previous fruitless conversations he had had with the ancient vampires.

"How do you suggest I approach them?"

Rüdiger sat up, his eyes wide, "_You_ don't approach them_. I_ will. We have to be very canny. Very circumspect. I will ask the questions to get them thinking, then you just listen in with your _special vampire gift_ and you'll know all. Then, of course, you must share what you learned with me. That's only fair, after all."

I had to laugh. He sounded like a cold war era spy. "Moscow Rules, eh?" A movie quote? Bella was beginning to wear off on me.

"Moscow, Schmoscow! We're talking about Vampires. They are trickier than the KGB ever thought of being. We must be very careful."

We took a cab to the outskirts of town and were let off at the start of a winding dirt road that led up, through a wood and over a hill. The cab driver refused to go further or wait for our return. He said he was worried about the rapidly approaching dusk. But internally, he was almost petrified with fear when he realized we were planning to walk up the road ahead. He didn't put words to his fear but the images that were running through his mind were making him panic. We paid him off and he reversed the cab in record time and tore back down the highway. He was headed for the nearest pub.

"This way then," Rüdiger said cheerfully. We walked at a human pace until we were sure we were out of sight of the road and then starting running at vampiric speeds. Most vampires were svelte but Rüdiger defied the norm. He could have easily posed as Santa if it weren't for his red eyes. However, he still had the speed and strength we all did. We chatted as we ran.

"Where do they live?"

"In a castle. They are very old fashioned. It's a few miles further up the road. No human comes here unless they are forced to or are extremely stupid. This area has a bad reputation to the locals."

"That's perfectly understandable."

"Oh, here we are. They've got the draw bridge down. I suppose they are awaiting us." We slowed down as a classic haunted castle appeared as we rounded a bend in the road. The cloud cover provided an ominous back drop and obligingly, a flicker of lightening and a crash of thunder illuminated the scene in front of us. The castle was straight out of a horror movie, tall crenellated towers of grayish black stone, a moat, and not a living soul in sight.

Rüdiger and I strolled across the bridge and I looked up to see the sharpened ends of the portcullis poised above us as we passed. Beyond that was a short tunnel with murder holes interspersed in the ceiling. I could glowing eyes peering down at us. They weren't human eyes; they weren't vampire eyes. Fortunately, their owners didn't try to dump anything objectionable upon us.

We entered an interior courtyard and were greeted by a tall, morose human of indeterminate age. He said, "Follow me," and turned and led us across to the keep. He looked just like Lurch from the Addams Family. I was so glad he didn't say, "You Rang?" or I'd have collapsed from laughter. Someone here has been watching too much television.

We followed Lurch up some stairs to some huge wooden double doors. Yes, they squeaked when they were opened. Loudly. Oh my god! How was I going to keep a straight face here?

He ushered us across a gloomy hall, hung with dusty tapestries and through a doorway into a … well, it was a throne room. At the end of the room there was a raised dais with two huge throne-like chairs on them. In each chair was a vampire. They sat there impassively, not acknowledging our presence. They had chalky white papery looking skin and straight black hair that was combed back and hung to their shoulders. They wore black suits that could have been stylish in any age. Their red eyes glowed, the only bit of color in the stone walled room. They weren't thinking any thoughts at all. Oh, oh. Could they block me like Bella could?

Lurch cleared his voice and said, "Herr Rüdiger von Warsteiner and Mr. Edward Cullen." Rüdiger looked at me apologetically and thought _It's my favorite beer. What can I say? _I felt my lips turn in a small smile. Imagine naming yourself after a beer.

I watched as Rüdiger bowed to the two enthroned vampires and said, "Thank you so much, dear Vladimir and Stefan for allowing us the magnificence of your presence today." Suddenly, I could hear them. It was if they had been in stasis but now they woke up. Their minds were curious.

_Interesting. What has the fat Hun brought us today? _

_A beautiful boy. _Cullen_ did he say? I wonder if our old friend Carlisle has sired offspring._

"Welcome, friend," the Vampire on the left said, "It is always our pleasure to have guests."

"Allow me to introduce my protégé, Edward Cullen, a son of Carlisle Cullen in the new world. You'll remember Carlisle when he was in Volterra."

"Thank you for your welcome," I said, "I have a letter of introduction from Carlisle for you. He sends his best regards." I took a few steps forward and handed the letter to Vladimir, as I heard his identity from his thoughts.

_Don't allow him to touch you, brother! _Stefan screeched in his head. _He may be able to read your mind like that vermin in Italy. You never know._

He didn't need to worry. Vladimir was very careful to take the letter without touching me.

"Welcome young Edward," Vladimir said as he perused Carlisle's letter. "How is dear Carlisle doing?"

"He is well, thank you."

"Is he still practicing his strange dietary habit? Drinking the blood of animals rather than humans?"

"Yes. Our whole family practices that custom."

"I can tell you do by your eyes. How unnatural." _Surely, they must be insane. _

"I am remiss, I am Vladimir and this is my brother, Stefan."

Stefan finally spoke, "Welcome, young one." His voice was whispery and soft. "What brings you to our home?"

"Carlisle felt I should see a little more of the world. I've never been to this part of Europe and, of course, since this is your homeland, I was hoping I could meet you after hearing so much about you."

_Checking out the relics, I see. I hope he is appropriately awed -_this from Vladimir.

Rüdiger interjected, "We were especially admiring your home."

Stefan preened silently,_ It's no wonder they admiring our castle. Not many vampires can live in such splendor any longer. _

Edward was avidly listening in to their thoughts. He saw images of Stephan living in this castle for centuries, how once it was; with humans playing living tribute to the fierce gods that they were thought to be.

Vladimir answered, "It suits us."

Vladimir thought, though _It's a mere hovel compared to the splendor we used to have. _Images of huge castles perched on mountain tops flashed through Vladimir's mind. People were bustling about, seeing to the business of living while over all stood a regal Vladimir and a lovely woman, a vampire herself, at his side. I saw a small grimace appear and just as quickly disappear across his features as he thought about the woman.

_Oh, Ammut, can I ever think of you without pain? Why did you leave me? Where did you go?_

That was interesting. I supposed Ammut was his mate and she deserted him. Rüdiger and I had developed a script and so, he pushed on with his next question.

"Are there many vampires in this district, Vladimir?"

_Fool! Why would he want to know that? There used to be hundreds but now only a very few. The vermin in Italy saw to that. Scum! Burning our beautiful palaces. I will personally snap the heads off of all of them one day._

Okay, so the Volturi destroyed the power of the Romanians. Not surprising.

But in a mild voice Vladimir answered, "Oh, there are a few of us here and there." He shrugged as if it was of no consequence.

"I had hoped to meet some of them. We were looking for someone…" Rüdiger left the question hanging.

_What could anyone tell them that we couldn't? We know it all. We don't choose to share it all, though. _His inner voice was smug.

Stefan's mind was wandering. He was thinking of a time long past when he roamed the continent when he was young and vibrant with new blood. He was thinking of how attractive he had been to a certain young human man. Then Stephan turned his ruby red eyes on me and his thoughts became salacious. About ME! That made me squirm a little. He definitely wasn't my type.

Vladimir was speaking about inconsequential things with Rüdiger, not directly answering any questions but his mind was alive with questions. He wanted to know what our real objective was coming to Romania.

Rüdiger prompted, "We were trying to find Helmut. I had heard that he had learned some striking information about our beginnings but since he is a nomad, we've not had much luck discovering his where abouts."

_Helmut!? That cretin. He couldn't find his nose without a map. I wonder what he thinks he found? Our origins pre-date anything he could find. _

Stefan perked up at that, "We haven't seen Helmut in decades. He avoids us for some reason." _He is interested in the origins, is he? _Suddenly I saw images flashing through Stefan's mind. I saw sandy river banks and a verdant subtropical valley, tall stone obelisks, and stone buildings with shady doorways leading to lightless interiors. There was a figure standing alone in the dark, someone darkly beautiful, with long black hair, porcelain features, and glowing red eyes. _Helmut will never look in the right places. We've made sure of that._

Rüdiger spoke musingly, "I wonder if he discovered what happened to the old ones?"

_Suddenly, Vladimir's mind was screaming. "NO! YOU SHALL NOT KNOW ABOUT THE OLD ONES!"_

But he said with a small emphasis, "They were mythical creatures; a figment of an over active mind."

Stefan's eyes slanted over towards his brother and he sighed internally. _Vladimir is so touchy about her. He still moons over her and hopes she'll come back to him. But she won't. It wasn't her nature to stay in one place. And why should she reappear when there are much more delectable young ones around. _He turned his focus back towards me and grinned.

Rüdiger responded to Vladimir, "Ah. I thought so. Something so wonderful was too good to be true. Myths, always."

Vladimir's thoughts were acidic. _Little do you know, imbecile, how true that myth was. She was too good for the likes of you to know._

He groaned inwardly, remembering. _Long lives become tedious over time. Her life being the longest became the most tedious. And she filled the tedium by enchanting men, one after the other over the long years. Thrilling them. Seducing him. Loving them. Then, ultimately changing them as she changed me, loved me, and centuries later, left me. I will never recover from her loss and it's been ages since I last saw her beloved face._

Stefan turned again to Vladimir. _Curses, he's thinking of her again. It will be weeks until he'll be tolerable to be around. No matter how delectable the young one is, it's time our visitors left._

Stefan spoke, "The information you are wanting can't be found here. Helmut never visits and we find your questions impertinent. You must go, now."

Rüdiger's eyes bulged and he quickly asked, off our script, mind you, "Oh but Stefan, I wanted to ask you if you remembered anything about that recipe for beer blood?"

_Fool! As if I'd ever tell him. _Suddenly, the whole process and ingredients flashed across Stefan's mind. I was in shock. There really was a recipe for blood beer. Imagine that. It still looked nasty.

I could tell we'd worn out our welcome and so I thanked both Vladimir and Stefan as graciously as I could and then Rüdiger and I left the way we came. It was full dark now and we could safely run back to our hotel where we checked out and immediately left for Germany. It's not a good idea to hang around after you've been asked to leave by two ancient vampires.

As we drove back to Rüdiger's home, we chatted about what I had discovered. He wasn't much interested in what I discovered about vampiric origins and the Old Ones although he maintained a polite interest. However, he was especially thrilled about the recipe for beer blood and promised to invite me to celebrate its first brewing when it was ready. I smiled politely, not sure I'd be interested.

Rüdiger dropped me off at the Berlin-Tegel airport and I booked the first flight out to Washington, D.C. Fortunately, there was a seat available in first class that was leaving in two hours. I checked in and was waiting in the first class lounge when my phone rang. It was Alice.

"Edward, you need to come home immediately. We have a serious problem. It's Bella."

AN: Don't be hating. We'll find out what happened to Bella. Soon. I just have to write it first. Reviews are incentive for me to please you all the sooner.

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**Chapter 15: Chapter 15 Conundrums**

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AN: Disclaimer: I acknowledge that Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters. I borrowed them for a bit.

Thank you to MissBellaIII for her awesomeness in checking this chapter over for me.

Chapter 15 Conundrums

***Carlisle's POV

We all froze in place. I knew in an instant that for some reason Jacob's dormant shape shifting gene had been activated and now there was grave danger for everyone in the room, especially Bella.

I swiftly whispered to Jasper and Emmett, "Don't move! Anything we do will set him off. Let me try to reason with him but protect Bella at all costs. Jasper, try to calm Jacob down."

A few seconds later as the growling lessened, and I spoke calmly and soothingly, "Jacob, we mean no one any harm. We are here to help you. I knew your great-grandfather, Chief Ephraim. He made a treaty with me, knowing that my family and I would never hurt a human. We are no danger. Can you trust us as he did?"

The growling was quieter but still continued however, I could see that Jacob was watching me. Hopefully, that meant he comprehended what I was saying. I wished Edward was here. He could have heard Jacob's thoughts and reassured me that was the case.

Jasper murmured, "Carlisle, he's full of confusion, fear and aggression. Perhaps you can explain?"

I nodded, knowing that Jake probably had no idea of his heritage, or at least knowledge that the old stories should be taken literally, "Jacob, listen to me. I know you are wondering what has happened to you. I can explain to a small degree.

"You are a descendant of noble and magical chieftains. They were shape shifters. The old stories were true. You have demonstrated that you are also of that noble line. As you shifted from your human form to that of a wolf, you can shift back again. I am sure there are those in your tribe who can help you. We need to contact them." With my hands open and outstretched by my side, I hesitantly took a step forward to see if Jacob would cooperate with us.

Simultaneously, the growling grew to a roar and Jacob pounced. I dodged him. At the same time, Emmett threw himself at Jacob's back and grabbed him around his chest to wrestle him to the ground. Jasper piled on and got a grip around the wolf's neck. The three struggled on the floor as I looked at Bella. She was lying on the floor, not moving. Evidently, when Jake pounced he knocked her into the wall. I rushed to her side to find her unconscious.

"Bella's hurt!" I shouted.

Finally, Jacob, Emmett and Jasper's thrashings quieted and I turned to see Emmett holding Jacob's wolf's form in a full Nelson. Jacob was struggling, whining and growling but he couldn't get any purchase. The enormously strong vampire had put both arms around the wolf's body from behind, wove them under Jacob's forearms and clasped his hands behind Jacob's neck, then lifted the wolf completely off the floor.

Jasper was trying to calm Jacob but it wasn't working. Finally, Jasper gave up and smacked Jacob on the side of his head, knocking him out. Emmett put the now still figure down on the floor and stepped back just as Jake started to shimmer, shake and suddenly, he was in his human form again.

I was checking Bella's vitals and saw no blood but a bruise was blossoming on her temple. I didn't want to move her because I wasn't sure if her spine was injured. Her respirations were normal, though. I needed to get her to the hospital.

"Call 911, Jasper."

"I can carry Bella were ever we need to go, Carlisle," Emmett responded.

"I know you can but I am not sure her spine wasn't hurt. We'll need a back board and a stretcher."

Jasper reached for his phone

Jacob moaned. He was coming around, "Grab him, Emmett!" I exclaimed. Emmett returned Jake into the full Nelson. Jacob groaned again and I got in front of him just out of his reach. Jasper directed heavy duty calm at him.

"Jacob Black! You need to remain calm and listen to me. You hurt Bella." I was practically shouting at him.

Jacob lifted his head. His expression was one of complete befuddlement. He looked at me and wrinkled his nose. "It stinks in here," he mumbled.

I laughed, "Yeah. Well you don't smell like a rose garden to me, either. Jacob, this is important. You need to listen to me. I can explain what's happened to you."

He shook his head, trying to clear it, then realized he was completely incapacitated by Emmett. He struggled a bit. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"If you promise to be calm, Emmett will let you go. Look on the floor behind me. Do you see Bella? You lost control and injured her. We are waiting for an ambulance right now."

Jacob's eyes were staring at Bella, shocked at what he saw. "I did that?"

"Yes. You didn't mean to, but you did. You've got to maintain control of yourself Jacob. Can you?"

"Uh. I think so. Let me go." Emmett slowly released his hold. Jacob flexed his shoulders and swung his arms as if to release the tension. "What happened?"

I sighed, "Jacob, how much do you remember?"

He shrugged, "I was sick. My fever was blazing. I decided to get a cold drink from the refrigerator but then I started shaking and suddenly I exploded. Well, it felt like I exploded. I was on all fours and my arms were furry. I could hear _everything_. I could smell_ everything. _I think I panicked." He started looking around his apartment. "Did I do this, too?"

I nodded, "Jake, you are a shape shifter. You can transform into a large wolf. The old Quileute tales were true. I don't know what prompted your change but you really need to get in touch with your tribal elders. I have met some of your ancestors who were shape shifters, as well, but I thought that had died out."

Jacob sat down heavily on the sofa and put his head in his hands. We heard the ambulance coming, so I turned on the porch light. I turned back to Jacob, "You may want to put some clothes on before the ambulance gets here."

Jacob looked down in surprise and finally realized he was naked. With a strangled curse he dashed down the hallway into his bedroom almost at vampire speed. I think even his butt cheeks were blushing.

While Jacob and I had been talking, Jasper had quickly straightened up the kitchen and living room to prevent the EMTs from suspecting foul play. He had pulled in a step ladder from the back porch and set it up in the living room, took the shade off the ceiling lamp and removed one of the light bulbs. He put a pack of light bulbs on the ladder shelf and threw the one he removed from the lamp on the floor, between where Bella fell and the ladder so that it broke. Voila, an instant explanation.

I knelt over Bella again and felt her arms and legs, trying to figure out if she had any broken bones. It didn't seem that she did. Just then, the EMTs were at the door.

One of the attendants recognized me, "Dr. Cullen! What's the problem here?"

"This young woman hit her head in a fall. There's bruising on her left temple and I suspect a concussion. I don't think her limbs are broken but I'm not sure if her spine was affected."

The EMTs got to work stabilizing Bella and running her vitals. I elected to ride with the ambulance to the hospital. Before we left, I turned to Jacob and said, "You need to get in touch with your tribe as soon as possible. It's imperative."

Jacob nodded glumly.

Emmett was going to follow me to the hospital in my car. Jasper would drive Bella's truck to our home and tell the girls what had happened.

And someone needed to call Edward.

***EPOV

The flight from Berlin to Dulles was the longest ten hours of my life. Alice told me that Bella was in the hospital after being knocked unconscious in an accident. She didn't go into specifics, saying that she didn't precisely know how the accident happened or what Bella's prognosis was. She told me that Carlisle was with Bella in the hospital and that was probably the most comforting thing she could have said, other than Bella was 100% A-okay. She said she would call me with updates but I received no call before having to board my flight.

I tried to read but my mind kept on going back to Bella. Fate was such a cruel bitch. I knew this. Bella and I had reunited and found our love to be as deep as it ever had been. I had gathered information that Bella needed to make the decision to spend eternity with me and just as I was returning to her, she was snatched from me.

_Perhaps_ she was snatched from me_, perhaps_ not. I was being negative. I was going to go insane thinking along these lines. There were times I wished I could sleep or at least get tanked. That way I could distract my mind from worry.

I was first out of the aircraft and I made it through the airport in record time. I was on the phone with Carlisle as soon as I cleared customs.

"She's not regained consciousness, Edward. She has a concussion but there's no other damage, no broken bones. We are monitoring her to make sure there is no bleeding in the brain. She's doing well; she's just not awakened, yet."

Trust Carlisle to put a positive spin on things, "So you're saying she has a Grade III Traumatic Brain Injury?"

"So, you went to medical school a couple of times? Technically, yes, she has. But she could wake up any moment as right as rain. The coma she is in is helping her brain to heal."

"I will be at the hospital in an hour." I was going to get my car out of the long term parking lot and drive like a bat out of hell to get to Bella.

She still hadn't awakened when I got to her side. I grabbed her hand and leaned over her bed. "Bella? Bella? Can you hear me?" She was unresponsive.

I looked up at Carlisle who was hovering nearby, "Did anyone get in touch with her parents?"

"Yes. Alice called both Renee and Charlie. I believe they are both flying in today."

"Good. Where is Bella's chart?"

Carlisle sighed, "Edward, you know I can't show you her chart. It's a violation of HIPAA."

I gave him a wise look - as if we paid attention to rules.

He went on, "I am not sure Bella would want you to read it. Are you?"

Well, he had me there. Bella would probably not even want me here at her bedside, thinking she was being an inconvenience to me.

"How did this happen, Carlisle?"

"It's a long story."

When Carlisle said things like that, he was usually trying to hide something from me. "I've got time."

Carlisle very quickly and concisely whispered the entire sordid tale. I was fuming when he was done.

"Carlisle, why didn't you warn Bella about Jacob Black? You knew he was a Quileute!"

"I did but I didn't believe he was a shape shifter. I believed that had all died out."

"What caused him to shift? Surely that can't happen often or we'd see it written up in the _National Enquirer_."

Carlisle shook his head, "I don't know exactly but Alice recalled Bella telling her something that may be significant. After Alice and Jacob ran into each other in Bella's classroom, Jacob mentioned to Bella that Alice smelled badly to him. Maybe smelling a vampire kicked off the process for the shape shifting to begin. It makes sense. Originally, the shape shifting began as a defense to vampires. Perhaps it is the presence of vampires that causes the transformation to start."

Perhaps. Trust Bella to get right in the middle of it. She needed a keeper. I knew I certainly needed her. We could keep each other. I sat there at her bedside until her parents arrived; first Charlie, then an hour later, Renee.

Charlie walked into the hospital room and stood in the doorway looking at his daughter. The pain, worry and, surprisingly, anger in his mind were overwhelming. It always amazed me at how deeply this quiet man felt about his child. And here I was conspiring to take her away from him. Was my happiness more important than his? Shame washed over me and I stood up. "Chief Swan," I said.

"Edward," he briefly glared at me then went right back to Bella's still form.

"I will leave you alone with her." I moved to walk towards the door when Charlie put his hand up to stop me.

"How is she?" he asked, bleakly.

"Nothing has changed. Her body's natural defense is to sleep so it can heal. I suppose she'll wake up when she's ready to."

"Hmmmm." He walked over to the other side of the bed and took her hand, staring intently at her. "They say Jacob Black did this to her," he growled.

I blinked. We had kept to the story that she had fallen from a ladder while visiting Jake. Finding out he knew the truth was surprising. "Who are they?" I asked.

"Billy Black, Jake's father, told me for one; Sam Uley for another. Sam came with me on the plane. Jake's going back to Washington with him."

I didn't know either man but I was assuming that Billy was Jake's father and Sam must be another member of the Quileute Tribe. Uley was a name familiar to me, just as Black was.

"Why?"

Charlie looked at me dead in the eye, a murderous look on his face, "Evidently, there's more to everyone here than meets the damn eye."

I was stunned. Charlie knew. I was sure he knew about the shape shifting, evidently someone told him. But did they tell him about us? The way he was glaring at me indicated he did. Damn! This really threw a monkey wrench into everything.

***Charlie's POV

"Bloody, Blooming, Burning Hell!" It's all I could think of saying. Werewolves? VAMPIRES? Someone was truly shitting me. Even after Billy and Sam showed me proof, given me evidence that even a two year old could add up, I still was confounded.

And I was enraged. My baby, my Isabella, was dating a _vampire_. The whole fucking Cullen family were vampires and Bella knew this. AND SHE WAS ALL RIGHT WITH IT! If the damn fake "fall from the ladder" didn't kill her, I think I would.

It was all I could do to stand civilly in the hospital room with Edward. I felt as though I could rip his head right off his shoulders. But then I saw my baby lying on that bed, so still, with hospital monitors beeping away all around her and my heart felt like it would wring itself in two. I was reassured that Bella was just sleeping off the injury. They were watching to make sure her brain wasn't swelling; now all we had to do was wait.

I swallowed my bile and focused on the most important matter at hand, my daughter's health. I asked Edward a few basic questions about her progress, but couldn't resist taking a stab at him, the bastard.

I think what pissed me off the most was all the damn lying that had gone on over the years. Here I was thinking all Bella was suffering from was a teenage romance gone wrong, although I knew how life long that pain could be, only to find that every damn moment she was with Edward she was courting death. And she knew it. My mind kept revolving around that. She knew it and did it anyway.

I muttered, "Bella, you always had a supreme lack of regard for your personal safety."

Edward heard that and chuckled softly, "Indeed, she does."

I shot a glare at him, "You being the primary danger to her!"

All traces of humor left Edward's face, "I would never hurt Bella. She's safer with me than without me."

"Hmmm. Where were you when Jake bulldozed her?"

He looked a little sheepish about that, "I was traveling. I was actually on my way back to her when I got the call."

I studied Edward closely, now. Yep. It was obvious he was something other worldly, something strange. I wonder that I didn't notice it all those years ago. I shook my head.

"I want you to stay away from my daughter."

"I tried that. It didn't work. Besides, I think that's Bella's decision to make. It's neither yours nor mine."

"Hmmm. You're right. I can see just how well me telling her she couldn't be with someone would go over."

We were quiet for a while but there were things I needed to know, so I got it over with. I cleared my throat, "Billy says the Cullens don't prey upon humans."

"No. We don't."

"You've never killed a human?" I watched him closely and saw that struck a nerve.

I went on, "You have. I should be arresting your sorry ass."

"It happened… and I regret it deeply. It was long before your parents were even born."

That shocked me, "Just how the fuck old are you?"

"I was changed at the age of seventeen."

"And that was how many years ago?"

"I was seventeen in 1918."

Whoa! I staggered over to the lone chair before my legs gave out, "Holy Cow! You're older than my grandparents were."

"I want you to know I am not the same person I was when I killed those people."

"Oh, so you're telling me you're a changed man? I've heard that before. Every criminal caught red-handed says the same thing. Or maybe you should say you're a changed _vampire_."

Edward just looked at me in stony silence, then said, "Chief Swan, for your own safety and especially for _Bella's_ safety, you must keep this secret. There are other beings who would wreak havoc on you both for the simple fact you know about us."

I shrugged, "Oh, I know. I know. I've already crossed my heart and hoped to die that I wouldn't say a word to anyone about it, except for you and the tribe." Who would believe me anyway?

"I am deadly serious about this, Chief."

"So were they." I remembered the solemn faces of Billy and Sam as they took the unprecedented action of revealing their tribal secrets to me, an outsider. I think they wanted to tell me purely to protect Bella. They were aware of the Cullens reappearance in my daughter's life and had been afraid for her. They couldn't protect her themselves and so it was up to me, her father. Problem was, I didn't know what I could do to protect my stubborn daughter from her own choices.

"So, you and Bella… you're a couple? What does this mean for the future? And no lying now. I want… I need the truth."

Edward sighed, "As of this moment we are dating, whatever that means these days. But whether we'll stay a couple depends upon Bella alone. If it were up to me, I'd spend forever with her."

"Forever? As in forever, forever?"

Edward nodded, "Yes. Eternity. My kind doesn't die of natural causes."

"But you can be killed, though?" I looked at him hopefully.

A twisted grin crossed his face and nodded, "Yes, but it is difficult to do. It's almost impossible for humans to do."

I thought a little about what he said, then it dawned upon me.

"Holy Shit! You are asking her to become like you?" I didn't have the freaking words to express how horrified this made me.

"Chief, this is all in her hands. It is all her choice. Not mine. Not yours. Now that you know, though, an obstacle has been removed."

I looked at him suspiciously, "What obstacle?"

"If she chooses an eternal life now, she won't have to give you up."

"What do you mean?"

"If she had chosen to be changed before, when you didn't know of our kind's existence, we'd have faked her death and you'd have never seen her again."

I was seriously considering how I could find a way to kill that s.o.b. Would an Rocket Propelled Grenade do it?

While I was contemplating Edward's demise, the door burst open and Renee rushed in completely panicked. Knowing her, she'd been in a panic all the way up from Florida and driving everyone crazy in between.

"Bella, Bella! Baby! Oh my god, what has happened to you?"

It always was a knife in the gut whenever Renee intruded in my life. Some people could fall in love and fall out of love and in love again as easily as changing their brand of toothpaste. But some people couldn't. They loved once and for the rest of their lives. Guess which kind Renee was? Guess which kind I was? Right. My love life sucks.

I knew that for all that she loved her mother, Bella's disposition was more like mine. And I knew, damn him, that Edward was probably it for Bella. And he was a freaking vampire.

When was I going to snap out of this hallucination? It was beyond a nightmare by now. My daughter's in a coma. Her boyfriend is a 100 plus year old vampire who wants to make her a vampire, too. And the love of my life, who happens to be married to someone else, is right there in front of me and I can't touch her or tell her. I don't think they could write a book about this. It's too freaking unbelievable.

Renee was throwing herself on Bella, crying. I got up from the chair I was in and went over to her, "Renee, they say she'll be alright. She just has to sleep it off. Give her brain a chance to heal."

Renee lifted her head and her beautiful blue eyes gazed at me, reddened though they were by tears, "She'll be alright?"

"So I've been told. She just needs to rest."

"Oh, well. I guess I ought to be quiet then."

I sighed and shrugged as Renee straightened up.

"How are you, Charlie?"

"Oh. Fine," I said without much conviction.

She turned to Edward and said, "How are you, Edward?" Edward told her he was well. Good for him. Renee smiled and blushed when he responded. I couldn't believe her. What the hell?

I turned my attention back to Bella and noticed that her eyelids were fluttering. I went back around the bed opposite Renee and leaned over Bella, "Bella, honey? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes cracked open and she said, "Uh. Dad? What are you doing here?" or something close to that. Her mouth wasn't quite cooperating with her brain, yet.

"Bella, you're in the hospital."

"Again?" she said weakly, "What did I do this time?"

I looked daggers at Edward but I said, "You fell off a ladder and knocked yourself out."

"Crap. No wonder my head hurts."

Renee leaned over, "Bella baby, I am here, too."

"Mom! They called both of you to come here? I must have done a good job."

I said rather sardonically, "Bella, you aren't anything if not thorough."

She laughed weakly, "Has anyone heard from Edward?"

Shit.

I sighed resignedly and said,"Bells, he's right here."

I moved out of the way so Edward could come to her side. And I watched my daughter's face light up like a damn klieg light when she saw him. The joy on Bella's face as she reached for Edward's hand was something I hadn't seen since; well, I'd never seen it before. It was obvious that Bella loved him. And when I looked at him, I saw a mirror image in his face.

Shit.

I said to no one in particular, "I am going to get the doctor. I am sure he'll want to know Bella's awake."

I didn't want to watch them kiss. I'd probably throw up.

AN: Poor Charlie.

Reviews are important to the writing process. Please tell me what you think, good or bad. It helps!


	4. Chapter 4, Chapters 16-20

**Chapter 16: Chapter 16 Learning from the Past**

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AN: Thanks for reading and reviewing. And thanks to MissBellaIII for going over this for me. Much thanks, hon.

Chapter 16 Lessons of the Past

*** BPOV

I was discharged from the hospital the day after I awoke. Fortunately, I was excused from work the rest of the week and given a prescription for pain killers to help with the incessant headache my "fall" had given me. Everyone believed the story that I had stumbled off a step ladder at Jake's house. We didn't have to elaborate. I learned that people tended to believe what the Cullens told them.

Jake resigned his position at Wood, claiming the fever he had was a precursor to a congenital health issue common in the Quileute tribe, which wasn't far from the truth. Sam Uley explained to our principal that the experts for the treatment of Jake's problem were in Washington State and that he would get worse before he got better, so it made sense for the sudden resignation and departure. Jake was out of Winchester before the weekend had arrived.

He didn't go without giving me a very apologetic phone call saying he was mortified at what he had done. He made me promise to visit him the next time I came to Forks so he could "make it up to me." I wondered what he had in mind. And I wondered even more, if the next time I visited Forks, would he truly want to see me if by that time I had made the decision to change?

I told him to forget about it. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me. I was just glad he didn't injure anyone else and that my own injury was really relatively minor.

My parents, to my surprise, had moved into my little house. My mother shared my queen size bed with me and Charlie was bunking in the guest bedroom on the futon. Phil couldn't get away from his baseball duties in Florida, so it was just the three of us.

It was really weird having my parents together with me under my roof. I couldn't remember the last time this happened; probably way back when I was a baby, before Renee pulled up stakes and left Washington. It was not bad, per se, just odd. Way odd.

Charlie would thump around and grump at both of us. I could tell something was bothering him more than just my accident but he wasn't saying anything to me. I had no idea what he was stewing about.

I did catch him gazing at Renee once in a while. It's hard to describe the look he gave her but it was obvious she unsettled him. I guess it was weird to spend any length of time with your ex – the ex you never got over. Dad had never said anything but I knew how he felt.

Edward visited me every day but with Renee and Charlie hovering, there wasn't much more we could do than sit next to each other and talk, so we did.

We didn't talk about what I really wanted to, though. He couldn't tell me about his trip to Europe and what he found. He couldn't talk to me about Jacob and his transformation.

We mostly talked about Edward's plans. Edward was thinking that he may like to explore his musical ability career wise. He told me that he'd been driven to compose lately. That's what he did when he wasn't with me.

I couldn't wait to hear what he had composed but that would have to wait until I was given the all clear by my doctor, none other than Carlisle Cullen. Right now, I was under strict orders for house rest as long as I had a head ache. I think Carlisle was worried that I may get up to some "strenuous activities" if I visited Edward in his home.

I am telling you, Carlisle had a dirty mind.

Finally, the headache had all but disappeared and both Renee and Charlie had booked flights back home. Renee was leaving the next day and Charlie was leaving the day after. I felt up to cooking a celebratory dinner for just the three of us the night before Renee left: spaghetti with meatballs, garlic bread, salad, and cheese cake.

Since I was the most competent cook in the family, I believe both of my parents were relieved I took over that chore for the night. We sat around my little kitchen table and ate a pretty awesome dinner, if I must say so myself. We took our coffee and cheesecake into the living room. Renee was looking at the cups and saucers I had used.

"I remember these," she said. "These were your mother's, Charlie." She looked at him with a smile. "I always liked this pattern. It's so delicate."

Dad looked closely at the cup he held, "Yeah. She was really proud of these. She had a whole set of them."

Renee started to giggle, "Charlie do you remember that time your Mom found where your Dad stashed his emergency pint of bourbon?"

I saw my father's lips turn up and his eyes crinkled as if he was remembering a particularly funny story, "Oh boy. I don't think she ever let him forget it."

Turning to me, Renee explained, "Your grandmother had very strong views against hard liquor but occasionally Pops would enjoy a nip or two of Jack Daniels. To keep the peace, he'd sneak it. He found the best place to hide a bottle, or so he thought, was in the coffee carafe that went with this china. Your grandmother had hardly used it because she was afraid of spoiling it and Pops found that a pint of Jack would fit inside it perfectly.

"One day your grandmother decided to invite some friends over for coffee and to use the service. She reached up to the top of the china cabinet where she kept the carafe and not expecting it to be so heavy, it slipped through her fingers and crashed to the floor smashing into pieces and spewing Tennessee's finest all over her dining room rug.

"So there she was, her prized china coffee carafe splintered to smithereens, Jack Daniels soaking into her carpet with the biggest snobs in Forks coming over for cake and coffee. To top it off, the house now smelled like a distillery. I'd never seen her so mad," Renee started laughing and Charlie joined in.

"Poor Pops was in the dog house for years over that stupid china pitcher," Charlie shook his head.

I asked, "Were you there when it happened?"

"Oh, yes. We had just gotten married and were staying with Charlie's parents until our apartment was ready. We were upstairs…" All of the sudden Renee's explanation drifted off and she looked over at Charlie, whose cheeks, curiously, were cherry red.

Charlie coughed uncomfortably.

Renee saw his embarrassment and chuckled, "We were otherwise occupied."

Oh. My. God. They had been having sex.

Charlie squirmed in his chair and cleared his throat but didn't say anything. Renee, on the other hand, who was never at a loss for words went on, "Well you have to admit, Charlie, our sex life was pretty damn good."

Charlie rocketed out of his chair and stuttered, "Er… I have to... forgot something upstairs." He took the stairs two at a time.

"Mom," I scolded Renee, "You know Dad is uncomfortable about that stuff."

"He never used to be," she winked at me.

"MOM, too much information!" I was tempted to stick my fingers in my ears and start humming a song if she went on.

"Oh Bella, don't be such a prude. Sex is a healthy expression of love. I'd bet you are all over your man when you're alone."

"MOM! I am going to join Charlie upstairs if you don't cut it out."

Renee just laughed, shook her head and mumbled, "Two souls cut from the same cloth."

Charlie came back down stairs about then, looking as if he was braving a lion's den but resolved to tough it out. He looked so pathetically determined that Renee took pity on him.

"I am sorry, Charlie, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

Charlie blushed again, "I wasn't really embarrassed, just surprised that, other than Bella, you remembered anything good about our marriage."

Renee took a deep breath and studied Charlie for a moment, her face reflecting what turned out to be unusually pensive thoughts. "I remember a lot of good things about our marriage, Charlie."

Charlie looked surprised, "You do?"

"Yes, Charlie. I realize now that you really were a good husband and have always been a wonderful father. When I left, it really wasn't because of you. It was because of Forks."

"What's wrong with Forks?" Charlie sounded a little insulted.

"Forks is okay, in its way, Charlie, but you have to admit the weather is pretty gloomy most of the time. The sun hardly shines there."

"So, we don't die of skin cancer. A little rain doesn't hurt anyone."

"I know, I know, but after many years of thinking about it, I think really it was a problem with me."

"You? What was wrong with you?" Charlie answered.

"I was reading this magazine a few years back and there was an article about a woman who lived in South Dakota or someplace like that. She had a disorder that was caused by lack of sunlight, Seasonal Affective Disorder it's called. Her symptoms sounded exactly like mine when I lived in Forks: afternoon slumps, lack of focus and energy, changes in sleeping patterns, agonizing depression. The longer I was in Forks, the worse I got. I felt suffocated and trapped and incredibly miserable. When I moved to California, I improved immediately. I've lived in sunny places ever since and have never had a glimmer of those feelings again. Again, I didn't leave because of you, Charlie, I just couldn't live in your town."

Charlie looked like he'd been pole axed, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, "And you never told me this because …?"

"I didn't quite understand it myself at the time. I knew that you loved Forks. Your parents were ailing and they needed you. You loved the climate, the land, the forest, the rivers, just everything about it. You'd just started what turned out to be a great career. I couldn't demand that you leave it all behind you, Charlie. I couldn't do that to you."

"Let me get this straight. You left Forks because it made you physically sick, not because you didn't want me anymore?"

"In a nut shell, yes."

"And you didn't give me a choice to go with you because you didn't want to _hurt_ me?"

"I…er… I didn't want you to have to leave something you love."

Charlie let out a tortured groan, "And what made you think I didn't love you and Bella more than Forks?"

"Charlie, Forks is so much a part of you. The whole time you were at school in California you did nothing but pine for home, I remember. When we decided to get married, there was no question that we'd live in Forks. It was a package deal."

"I do love Forks, Renee, but I loved you and Bella more. You should have given me the choice." He sounded agonized.

The three of us sat there in uncomfortable silence, Charlie was staring at Renee, Renee was looking down at her hands, and I was watching them both, a fly on the wall.

Finally Renee spoke, "I guess, Charlie, I was too close to it. I suppose in a way, I identified you with Forks so at the time, I felt like leaving you was the same as leaving Forks. I know now that it really wasn't you at all. I am sorry I did that to you. But really, would you have been happy anywhere else other than your home?"

Charlie sighed, "Renee, if there's one thing I've learned over the years is that your home is where your heart is. You took mine with you when you left and I've never had a home since. If you had given me the choice, I would have gone with you and Bella."

Renee didn't have much to say after that. She finally said, "Charlie, I am so sorry. More sorry than I can say."

We all sat around looking at the ashes of Charlie's life until he stood up, "Well, what's happen has happened. There's nothing we can do about it now except make the best of it and go on. That's what I've always done and that's the choice I am making now. I am going up to bed. Goodnight."

I stared at Renee as Charlie left us. She looked at me and said once he was safely upstairs, "I guess I screwed up."

"I know how Charlie felt, Mom."

She looked surprised, "You do?"

"Yes. When Edward left me all those years ago almost without a word, he gave me no choice either. He made a huge decision that concerned both of us without asking me for my opinion. He left and it felt like I died."

"But you got over it."

"I went on with my life, just like Charlie did. I got my education. I found my career. I guess to the outside observer, I was fine, I recovered. But I had just bottled up that part of me, the part that loves and is loved in return, and put it on the shelf. I wasn't interested in dating or being with a guy at all during those years. That part of my life was frozen.

"Charlie did the same thing. There's a part of him that is very lonely and aching for love. I wish he could find it. As for me, I have a second chance now and I don't want to lose it."

"You need to follow your heart, Bella. I don't want you living a life of regret."

"What if making a choice meant that I'd have to give something else up? Something else that's important to me?"

"Usually choices come with a price like that. Nothing ever is perfect. We just have to do the best we know how to do. Bella, you have to be able to live with the choices you make, just like I have to live with mine. I hate to see Charlie alone. He deserves a lot more than this. I hate that I did this to him. It was wrong of me not to give him his say. But he's right, some decisions you can't go back on. You just have to make the best of it. Bella, you need to do what's right for you."

I impulsively got out of my chair and hugged her. I was full of love for her and sadness that a decision she made such a long time ago ended up causing such grief for my father. However, I was beginning to see that this time around, it could very well be Renee that was left behind because of my decision. Karma is a bitch like that.

***Charlie's POV

Well, wasn't this a fine fecking kettle of FUBAR*?

I paced the small room I was staying in at Bella's. Renee was full of shit. Forks depressed her so she had to leave it and, by the way, take Bella and leave me in the process? What a crock.

I didn't believe her. I remembered those days, too. When she left town and got all better in the sunny south, what was to stop her from recognizing what she felt for me then, if she loved me? Once she was over her slump, why didn't she call?

It was simple. She didn't call because she didn't want Charlie Swan. I don't care how much window dressing she wanted to put on it. She was done with Forks and she was done with me. Fact.

And I was done with her. Finally.

I had lived with the pain of losing her for years and after one brief conversation, that pain had disappeared. I realized now that I didn't want her. She was too goofy, too unreliable. I wanted someone nice and relaxing with her feet firmly planted on the ground. Or, you know, maybe I didn't want any one at all.

I had to chuckle at myself. I was beginning to sound like Bella used to before she got reunited with that… Edward. I shuddered. We were going to have to talk about that. That's for damn sure.

The next day Renee left in a flurry of tears and hugs. I offered to drive her to the airport but she'd already arranged for a cab. It was just as well. Two hours in a confined space with her after last night's revelations was too much.

I did have some parting words for her, though.

"Renee, thank you for last night. It cleared the air. I didn't realize how much I needed that."

She looked surprised, "I am sorry I made so many mistakes."

"Can't be helped now. But it's okay."

She looked at me, her blue eyes were not quite so beautiful to me now, and I let her go, both figuratively and literally. It was a relief. I felt lighter, even glad.

Bella and I stood together watching the taxi take her away. Renee waved through the back window at us until she disappeared around the corner. I turned to Bella and saw she was crying. That was surprising, or maybe not. Maybe this _was_ goodbye for her.

I said, "I think, young lady, it's time we had a talk. Call Edward and ask him to come over. I want to talk to him, too."

***EPOV

Bella's concerto was coming along nicely. I had the first two movements down and the third was coming along but I couldn't finish it. I suppose that was because I didn't know what the finish to _our_ story was, yet. I was fine tuning the bass line when my phone rang. It was Bella. I wasn't at all surprised to find that now that Renee was gone, Charlie wanted to speak to the both of us. I didn't blame him.

When I arrived at Bella's house, I found them both seated in the living room. Instead of Vitamin R, Charlie had to make do with PBR*.

Charlie nodded at me, "Edward."

I nodded back at him, "Chief Swan."

"I am not a chief here, Edward. Call me Charlie." Well, that was friendly, at least.

Since Charlie was sitting in the upholstered chair, I sat on the sofa next to Bella. I smiled at her and reached for her hand, "How are you feeling today?"

"Better. Hardly any tenderness at all," she put her hand to her temple as she smiled. I leaned over and kissed her hello.

Charlie cleared his throat, seemingly eager to interrupt our intimacy, "Okay. Now that Renee is out of here, we can lay our cards down on the table."

While Bella looked at her Dad in surprise, I looked at him in resignation and held her hand a little tighter. This was going to be a difficult discussion.

When Charlie said 'lay our cards on the table' he meant exactly that because that is exactly what he did. With no preamble he said, "Bella, I know that Jacob Black is responsible for your injury but more than that, I know that he is a werewolf and I know that Edward is a vampire."

I heard Bella gasp, but Charlie barreled on, "Let me rephrase that. I know that Jacob and several of his tribe are shape shifters and Edward and his entire family are vampires. Billy told me. He also told me that his tribe and vampires are enemies but they made a truce with the Cullens because the Cullens don't feed off of humans. And he told me that it was very likely that you have always known that Edward was a vampire since you were back in Forks."

I looked at Bella to see she had lost what little color she had. Her hand gripped mine, her eyes were huge and her heart beat double time. She was too stunned to speak.

I spoke in her place, "Bella couldn't share what she knew with you, Charlie."

"Bella didn't want to share what she knew, Edward, because she knew what my reaction would be."

Bella still couldn't say anything.

"And what would your reaction have been, Charlie?" I asked.

"What could it have been? I'd have gone ballistic and got her the hell out of there."

"It's better you didn't know then. Bella probably would have made a rash decision."

Charlie glared at me, "She would have done something she'd later regret because of you? What right do you have to influence Bella on anything?"

"I absolutely share your opinion, Charlie. That's the real reason I left Bella five years ago, not because I had grown tired of her, or that Carlisle had a new job. I realized how dangerous it was for me to be a part of her life so I left, never intending to interfere again."

"Well, why are we here then?"

"Because this time, Charlie, Bella came to me and asked me to be here."

Charlie shot an angry look at Bella, "Was that smart?"

Finally, Bella was stirred to respond, "I don't know, Dad, but it's what my heart wanted."

Charlie sighed, "So what are you going to do? What's going to happen?"

Bella answered, "Dad, I have two choices, really. The first is to go on as we have. Edward and I stay together until it becomes apparent that he's not aging and I am, then go our separate ways. The second would to become like Edward and be together forever."

Charlie's voice tightened, "And which are you going to choose?"

"I don't know. Edward and I tried being apart and it didn't work out for either of us. I just disregarded the hole in my heart that he left and did what needed to be done but there was an important part of me that was frozen, almost dead. I wasn't interested in dating. I wasn't interested in any of that sort of thing. But when I saw Edward again, I realized how much of myself I was ignoring and how I didn't want to ignore that part anymore. I know that if I didn't reconnect with Edward, I'd regret it until the day I died. You know how I feel, Dad. Last night, you told me and Renee that you'd have been with us given the chance. How can it be any different for me? I'm just like you.

"But making the decision to be with Edward forever is huge in more ways than I understand. Edward just got back from a trip to discover more information that could help me make this decision but, due to all the excitement, we haven't had a chance to discuss it any further."

"Hmmm. So you haven't made a decision?"

"No."

Charlie seemed satisfied with that for the moment, then he asked, "Edward, what do you want?"

I smiled and said simply, "I want Bella."

Charlie scowled at me, "_How _do you want Bella?"

"Any way she'll let me. I am hoping for her to decide to join me in this existence but I will respect any decision she makes and do whatever she wants."

Charlie paused for a moment in deep thought, then he asked, "What are the advantages of making the change? Other than the 'happily ever after' crap."

I really liked Charlie. He knew exactly how to get to the heart of the matter, so I answered, "Bella will be indestructible, certainly an advantage for her. She'll never get sick or hurt again."

"You mean there will be no more emergency calls from the hospital?"

"Never again."

"Hmmmm. Now that's a real advantage." Charlie looked appraisingly at Bella. Bella rolled her eyes.

"And, she'll be superhumanly strong and fast, have a photographic memory, and excel in any intellectual pursuit she chooses."

"She's already smart."

I nodded, "She's always been."

Bella was beginning to squirm in embarrassment.

Charlie then asked, "What are the down sides?"

It was my turn to sigh, "Blood lust. Humans are our natural prey and there's a constant desire to feed on them. With practice and discipline the desire goes away but it takes years. Newborns usually have to be kept away from humans for the first year or so because the lust is so overpowering."

Charlie blinked, "Newborn vampires, you mean?"

I nodded.

He went on, "You mean you want to take a hunk out of me right now?"

I laughed, "No. I am over that, I have been for a long time now. Falling in love with Bella made it completely disappear. But I can't predict how it will affect Bella if she makes the change."

Charlie nodded, "What else?"

"She can never have children."

"Oh… so no grandkids?"

"Not unless Bella has children beforehand."

"What else?"

"We have to keep our secret. That means moving every five to ten years or so. But one of Bella's biggest objections to an immortal life was having to leave you behind."

"You said something about that in the hospital. So now that I know, I can still have Bella in my life? No faking her death or anything?"

"Not from you, Charlie, but I don't know how we'll handle Bella's mother."

"You can't tell her?"

"No. We never tell anyone. Or at least we never did until I met Bella."

"Why was she different?" Charlie asked.

"Vampires mate forever. We have no control over it. Once we've met our mate, nothing works unless we are together. Bella was kind when she implied that my life went on like hers, full in all ways but emotionally. That really wasn't the case. The last five years of my life were spent looking out a window at a desolate Alaskan landscape and not much else. I can't 'live' without Bella being in my life.

"So when it was apparent to me and my family that I'd met my mate, the decision was made. It was inevitable. She's a part of the Cullen clan and will always be as far as any of us are concerned, no matter what decision Bella makes."

"Can Bella still be a teacher?"

"I don't see why not. Once she masters her blood lust, she can teach. She will just have to move periodically as we all do."

"But I can still see her?"

"At first maybe not, but you can talk on the phone, communicate through the computer. In a few years, you could see each other."

Charlie sat back, his wrinkled brow denoting his intense concentration.

"So, really this Vampire business isn't such a bad thing as long as you don't go snacking on the random person now and then?"

"Carlisle's example is the one that turned us from being monsters to being humane. I do want to tell you though, most of our kind feed off of people. The Cullens are considered misfits in their eyes."

Charlie shrugged as if that didn't matter to him. He turned to Bella and said, "Well Bells, you have a decision to make and that's no joke. As long as I can be a part of your life, I will support you whatever you decide to do. Just keep me in the loop, okay?"

Bella responded meekly, "Of course. Thank you, Dad."

The next day, Charlie left for the airport in his rental car. He gave Bella a hug and then turned to me and shook my hand, "Take care of her, Edward. She's all I've got."

I nodded and said goodbye and Bella and I stood hand in hand on her front porch and watched him drive away. Bella was a little teary but I think the conversation we had the day before set her mind at ease a bit.

After Charlie's car turned the corner, Bella turned to me, put her arm around my waist, leaned against me and whispered in my ear, "Let's go upstairs."

AN:

*FUBAR- Originally a military acronym standing for "fucked up beyond all recognition."

*PBR – Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Probably as crapy as Rainier Beer (Vitamin R) but I can't vouch for that, having never tried Vitamin R. I can tell you that PBR sucks.

Please leave a review. Spice up ahead.

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**Chapter 17: Chapter 17: Passion**

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**AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its Universe. I just borrowed the crew for a bit.**

**THERE BE LEMONS IN THIS CHAPTER. If you are under the age of 18, it would squidge me out if I knew you were reading this because you aren't supposed to know about sex AT ALL. **

**All snarkiness aside, according to the Terms of Service on this website, if you are under the age of 18, you aren't supposed to be reading stories of right in your face sexual content and this chapter has it. This is a warning that you should not be violating TOS here. You could skip this chapter and still get the rest of the story, if you wanted to.**

**Chapter 17 Passion**

*****BPOV**

Edward and I stood on my porch and watched my pretty amazing father get in his car and leave for the airport. I was a lot happier today watching him leave than I was yesterday watching Renee pull out. There was a good chance I'd never see Renee again, or at least she'd never see me. But thanks to my father's knowledge and sensiblity, no matter what choice I made, I was going to have Charlie in my future. That thought made me ecstatic.

I turned to Edward and realized for the first time in almost two weeks we were alone and all the ecstasy that I had been feeling over a future with my father transformed into the fact that Edward and I had this moment all to ourselves. My wanton side reared her head and I snuggled into his side, put my arms around his waist and whispered, "Let's go upstairs" in his ear.

Edward had wrapped his arm around me in his response to my closeness but when he heard my suggestion, he froze. I wasn't exactly sure how he took my idea but suddenly he was a whirlwind of motion. The door was slammed behind us and I was whisked upstairs into my bedroom before I could even laugh.

"I hope my front door is still on its hinges," I said.

He cocked an eyebrow at me and said, "I'll fix it later."

He inhaled deeply then looked at me in that old dazzling way and said, "I want you, Bella."

My wanton side was hyperventilating. I couldn't form any words. I simply wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. That was all the encouragement he needed. His lips parted and he pulled me into an electric kiss that completely overwhelmed me.

Before I was aware of us moving, I was lying on my bed. He stood back and gazed down at me, not saying a word, his eyes roaming my body. I was beginning to feel a little self-conscious when he whispered, "My heart, may I make love to you?"

I smiled shyly and blushed but nodded and said simply, "Yes, please."

I sat up to take off my blouse but Edward stopped me.

"Let me, Bella," his whisper was heavy with desire.

He laid down next to me, cupped my face in his hands and placed the sweetest of kisses on my nose, my eyes, my cheeks, and finally on my lips. My heart raced and my fingers feverishly wound through his bronze hair.

I was gasping for breath as he trailed his lips along my jaw, and then sucked on the lobe of my ear, his hands were unbuttoning my blouse. His lips followed his fingers and soon my blouse was on the floor, my jeans were quick to follow.

Edward worshipped my body with his lips, following my bra straps down my arms with his tongue and lips. I was getting goose bumps. He gently pulled my panties slowly down my legs and removed them as he stood. I was completely naked and he gazed at me with fire in his eyes and awe on his face. "Bella, you are simply beyond beautiful."

He quickly stripped off his clothes and I caught my breath. I had never seen his entire body before and it was perfect. I reached out as he stretched upon the bed and softly stroked his chest, his stomach, his hip. "You take my breath away, Edward."

His eyes were a burning umber and he kissed me once more, his tongue parting my lips to lovingly caress my own. I could feel every inch of him along my body and it felt _good_.

Wanton Bella, my needy side, was having a field day but Isabella, my practical side, had some questions. Why, being the biggest one. What had changed so much that Edward wanted to make love now when he was so reluctant before? He had been afraid of hurting me – was he no longer?

Isabella had a big mouth. Even though Edward and I were lying together, naked on my bed, deep in a passionate kiss, our hands exploring each other's bodies, Isabella was whining louder and louder. Wanton Bella was telling her to shut the hell up. I was caught between my two halves and feeling really frustrated that I just couldn't relax and let what happened happen.

It surprised me when Edward pulled back and said, "Bella, are you having second thoughts?"

"No, not second thoughts, just questions that I am trying to convince myself to wait to ask until afterwards." I was lightly tracing the muscles in his arm.

"Why wait to ask?"

"Because I have wanted this for six years, Edward. I've wanted to feel your naked body pressed against mine. I wanted to feel your unbridled kisses. I've wanted your hands to touch my breasts, your lips to caress my thighs, your body finally fully enveloped in mine. Before, you'd never let it get this far. Now, seemingly you want it, too, and I am afraid that if I question you, you'll stop and go back to holding me at arm's length. I think that would frustrate me to death."

Okay. Damn party pooper Isabella had her say. Wanton Bella was in a snit.

Edward, completely ignorant of my internal argument, just held me closer. He smiled and I could feel him hard against my thigh. "Bella, I was scared before because my desire for you frightened me. My fear dictated how I treated you and I've realized that was no way to nurture the kind of relationship that I truly wanted. I've decided not to be fearful any longer. I am just going to love you, if you will let me."

That shut Isabella up and Wanton Bella let out a delighted sigh.

"Love me then, Edward," was all I said.

And so, he did.

*******EPOV

I am the first to admit I don't know anything about sex. Well, not exactly anything but not much either. I knew the mechanics. The "Insert tab A into slot B" sort of thing and I knew what and where the points of interest are on the female body but the rest was all academic to me.

I'd never touched another woman's body but Bella's in a sexual way even before I was changed. I'd never wanted anyone else. So when Bella asked me to love her, I went completely upon instinct and the overpowering hunger I felt for her.

It wasn't my old hunger, the thirst that used to scald my throat and demanded that I drink her down until she was spent. That madness had disappeared. Now, it was the merest echo when I inhaled her delicious scent. Since I finally recognized and understood the extent of my love for her, I could never see her in that way again. As I had told Charlie, my love canceled out the thirst.

The hunger that overwhelmed me now was that of a man for a woman, in every way a man could have a woman – soul, body, and mind. I knew on some basic level, that Bella loved me with her soul, she wanted to love me with her body and I was enticing her mind to love me, too. I wanted to be what Bella wanted in a lover, a companion, and a mate. I was determined to be that. I wanted to fulfill her desires so that she was sated and only could be by me. Yes. My possessiveness was still there. But that was a human emotion, no? I'd roll with it.

I started with kisses. I kissed her lips, her neck her ears, across her shoulders, and down her arms, lingering on the palm of her hands. I kissed her soft stomach, circled around her navel, then up to her breasts, now kissing, now tasting, and drawing sensuous circles with my tongue until I reached the rosebud perfection of her nipples. I teased them, watching them rise into needy peaks, then I took them one at a time into my mouth and suckled them.

I listened to Bella's moans in response to my caresses. I paid attention to her heart beat and her soft gasps, focusing on the activities that increased both. At the same time I was rather surprised at my own body's reaction to our foreplay. I'd never felt or imagined anything as soft as her breasts or as smooth as the skin of her hips. The more I touched and kissed and tasted, the more I had to. The venom that used to flood my mouth in her presence had dried up leaving my parched throat aching with only sexual desire.

Each sensation seemed better than the last. I let my hand drift down her body until I reached the soft hair that covered her pubis. My fingers trailed down her nether lips and then I dragged my middle finger up, parting her and relishing the newfound moisture there. Bella's breath caught in her throat at this sensation and I smiled against her lips gauging her reaction. Suddenly, I caught the enticing aroma of Bella's arousal. I nestled my face into her neck kissing and sucking there as my finger boldly dipped into the source of her scent again. My thumb gently tickled her clitoris and she moaned my name again and again.

My own delight was magnified when Bella started tracing the muscles along my chest and arms. I groaned passionately when she started to kiss my neck and nibbled my ear lobe. Then to my utter delight, her hand slipped softly down and grasped me, rubbing me with her palm. Each touch set off a fire within that only she could quench. If my heart could beat, it would have jumped out of my chest at that moment.

"Bella, oh Bella, what you do to me," I groaned.

From that point on, I stopped thinking and let my body do what it craved. I rolled over to lie between her legs, pushing her thighs apart with my own. I looked deeply into her eyes and asked, "Will you let me love you, Bella?"

She smiled gently at me, her eyes filled with urgent desire, her fingers weaving through my hair, "Oh Edward, yes."

I watched her expression as I pressed into her, enjoying each flicker of emotion that crossed her face. At the same time, I was feeling quite overwhelmed with my own powerful sensations but not so oblivious that I didn't notice the tiny grimace she made as I was fully sheathed within her.

"Bella, should I stop?"

"No, Edward. Please don't. My body's just getting used to you. It actually feels quite wonderful now."

I was certainly glad she wanted to continue. My desire for her had grown exponentially. I had wanted our love making to be gentle and sweet but I could tell I wouldn't be able to keep it slow. In fact, as I started moving, I couldn't help but to thrust faster and faster. The friction our bodies created was driving me insane. I was delighted when I realized Bella was rising to meet me stroke for stroke.

I bent down to take one of her nipples into my mouth, licking it with my tongue in tight circles. Bella cried out my name and arched her body like a bow as I continued to move over her. My dazed brain finally realized that Bella was climaxing and that was all it took for my own to follow, completely blowing any intelligent thought out of my head altogether.

I collapsed on top of her, not knowing any words that could accurately describe my feelings. I could lie like this forever with this woman and every day I'd just love her more, desire her more, want her more. Bella's arms were still around me and she was softly caressing my back. Making love with me didn't hurt Bella, at least not how I had once been fearful of hurting her. I was completely contented and happy. I hoped she was as well.

I raised my head to look at her, not really knowing what expression I'd see on her face. This was uncharted territory for both of us and I had yet to win her mind. Our eyes met and shared a solemn moment. I think we were both waiting for the other's reaction. I smiled. She smiled back and said, "I'm alive!"

We both laughed at that and I hugged her and I said, "I guess they're right when they say 'love conquers all'." I paused a bit and then added, "It seemed like I hurt you for a moment. Are you okay?"

"It was my first time, Edward. A little pain is to be expected. And it was just a little pain. What followed after was purely amazing."

I rolled out of her arms and pulled her against me so she nestled on my chest. I sighed happily, "I wasn't really worried, Bella. Carlisle and I discussed our situation in detail. Many things he told me set my mind at ease."

Bella's voice sounded a little outraged, "So, you _did_ talk to Carlisle about having sex with me!"

"Well, among many other things, yes. There were things I needed to consider at length before I pursued you. And there is no 'Vampire Sex for Dummies' book out there."

"What things did you talk about?"

"Like whether we'd 'fit.' Whether I'd hurt you or worse. Contraception. That sort of thing."

"Oh, Lord. I'll never be able to look Carlisle in the eye again." She buried her face in my neck but soon, curiosity got the better of her and she asked, "Just what did he say?"

"He believed we would fit because you are a normal woman and I am built like a normal man and my body responds like a man's would, in any case. With my thirst gone, I can give into my sexual desire for you without worrying about hurting you."

"You don't thirst for my blood anymore?"

"I suppose that if I could forget my deep devotion to you, Bella, it would resurrect itself. But the love I have for you has supplanted it. Honestly, all I feel now is how the human me would feel. That takes precedence over everything. I will never hurt you, Bella. It's something I should have recognized years ago."

She was quiet for a bit as she shifted position on top of me, allowing her legs to straddle one of mine. I could feel her thigh pressing up against me and my eager body began to respond to her again. She was going to think I am insatiable. Maybe I was.

"Edward, what did Carlisle say about contraception? Since there aren't a bunch of baby vampires running around casa de Cullen courtesy of your family's activities, I hadn't thought that would be an issue between us."

"It is unlikely, yes. But there are stories about incubi and succubae. Have you ever heard of them?" She shook her head no. "The myth is these supernatural beings come in the night to sexually assault humans. There are rumors that offspring have been produced from these couplings. We have to pay attention to myths because so frequently there's more truth in them than anyone realizes. Concerning the incubi and succubae, I know that some of my kind do have sex with humans – my cousins in Alaska for example – but I've never heard of children being the result of one of those relationships. Actually, Carlisle and I found that I was sterile."

Bella blinked up at me not knowing whether to be shocked or amused. "You're sterile? Did you have the mumps or something?"

I snorted, "No, Bella. I think it is just the nature of Vampirism. We have no living cells – at least not as a human being would define them. To be sure, we tested my ejaculate to see what it was composed of. We were specifically looking at venom concentrations. I didn't want to injure you or change you while loving you." I gently stroked her back along her spine. "There were no spermatozoa either."

"You tested your ejaculate! How did you manage that?" Bella was shocked now.

I smiled wickedly, "Oh, by thinking of you…"

Bella smacked my chest, "Edward! What Carlisle must think of us?"

I was genuinely amused now, loving her blush, our teasing, "Bella, Carlisle is a doctor and he knows how much I love you. He had always hoped I'd be able to fully express it for you. He wants us to be happy. We had to make sure there weren't going to be any unexpected side effects. Carlisle is for this," I waved my hand over the two of us lying entwined and naked on her bed, "One hundred per cent."

We were quiet for a moment, and then Bella said, "So, no children for us." She didn't sound happy or sad about that, just stated that fact.

"No, Bella. I am afraid not, at least not in the normal way. Does that upset you?"

"To be honest, I've never thought of being a mother before. So, I can't answer that question. Right now, it doesn't make me feel one way or the other."

"If that became an issue, my love, we could do what Carlisle and Esme did – adopt. Or you could have a baby through other means – artificial insemination or a surrogate. It's up to you."

She studied me for a moment, "We are sure looking down the road a bit. You and I becoming parents together assumes a lot of things that haven't necessarily happened yet, Edward."

Sighing I said, "I understand. You are right. We have a lot to work out." I looked down at her with a crooked smile, "But I love how we have begun to work on it." I knew by now she must have felt my erection against her thigh, so I pressed against her making my point.

She giggled, ducking her head into my chest, "I suppose one advantage of being a vampire is a short recovery time."

"And stamina. Don't forget that." I kissed her head. "I don't want to wear you out, Bella. So we'll take this easily. I'll do whatever you wish."

"Well, what I wish is to seduce you again."

Edward laughed and said, "It is my pleasure to please you, ma'am. It's not seduction when it was my own intent from the beginning."

She lifted her leg that was resting in between mine and swung it over so that she straddled me and rubbed herself against me. I gasped in delight.

"I love how you loved me, Edward Cullen," she said and then softly slipped onto me, "now let me show you how I love you."

And the rest was pure bliss.

****BPOV

When we got out of bed the next morning, I was walking like a 90 year old woman. Make that a relaxed 90 year old woman with a huge smile on her face. Edward noticed my hobbling step and quickly ran a hot bath for me. He thought to add the bath salts that Alice and Jasper had given me on my birthday.

Edward was remorseful at my condition but underneath I think he was proud. I was no sorer than anyone would have been had they made love a half a dozen times throughout the night. While I was soaking, Edward brought me some hot tea and then sat on the commode lid as I luxuriated in my wonderful bath tub.

"Edward, you'll have to join me in here one day. There's plenty of room for two."

He gave me that crooked, bits melting half-smile and said, "I will look forward to it but for now, you need to recuperate."

I sipped my tea gazing at him over the rim of my teacup. Edward was dressed in black jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. Both fit him well enough so that his physique was evident. His hair actually did look like sex hair but it had good reason to, I guess. I rarely had my hands out of it last night.

I could feel that flutter of desire stir again within me. It was then that I noticed Edward was studying me as I was studying him. I blushed, remembering where my mind had been. I couldn't remember feeling as happy as I was feeling at this moment. Edward sat there smiling at me and looking like he felt as content as I did.

"What are your plans for today?" I asked.

"I think you're the one with a schedule. I have no plans but I would like to talk to you. I want to tell you about my trip."

"And I am excited to hear about what you found."

"Do you think we could pull Carlisle into our conversation, though? I've not told him about what I found either and I want him to hear. He may be able to share some additional insight on my observations."

"That sounds like a good idea. We can go over after I'm finished here."

I stretched out a little, letting the water warm my weary muscles. It felt wonderful. I looked at my darling Edward and smiled, "Edward, do you think you may choose a music career?"

"It's possible. I've been feeling a huge compulsion to compose lately. I can't seem to pass the piano lately without sitting down and working on some aspect of my concerto."

"Wow, a concerto. That sounds pretty difficult. You are a very good musician, Edward."

"Thank you but you'd be surprised how good you'd be at something if you had all eternity to learn how to do it." There was a pause as I was reminded of other things that Edward seemed to have a natural talent in. I had a mischievous idea.

I set my cup of tea down on the cabinet next to the tub and then reached for the bath sponge; my movements were languid, as if I was taking pleasure in each subtle gesture. I lathered up the sponge with my favorite mint and oatmeal bar soap and then started washing my body, starting with my left shoulder and arm. I rubbed the sponge in circular motions as I lifted my arm out of the water, letting little droplets trickle down back into the bath.

"So, Edward, you think you'll go back to school?"

He cleared his throat and I looked up at him as I moved from my arm to my neck and chest, still gently rubbing my body. He had a look of consternation on his face as if he was trying not to think of something but he was studying each swipe of the sponge in fascination.

"I am not sure. If I did, I may have to leave Winchester and I don't want to go away right now."

I moved on to my right arm.

"Could you do distance learning, Edward?"

"Perhaps." He was intently watching as the sponge drifted along my arm. I soaped the sponge again, this time moving on to my breasts.

"I've heard the Shenandoah Conservatory of Arts is good. Perhaps you could see a counselor there?"

"Hmmm, that's a thought…" his sentence drifted to a stop.

I could actually see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. I cocked my head to the side and gave my left boob another swish. I half closed my eyes, took a deep breath and once again swished the same spot. My nipples were peaked. I looked at Edward out of the corner of my eye and was surprised to find him, not looking at my breasts, but staring intensely at my face. I swished again and gazed deeply back into his eyes and bit my bottom lip.

"What are you doing, Bella?"

"Bathing, Edward."

"I think your left breast is beyond clean by now, Bella."

I looked down at myself and swiped at it again, "You think so, Edward?"

"I do. You aren't very good at bathing yourself." The next thing I knew he was kneeling next to the tub and taking the sponge from my hand.

"Let me," he whispered. He stared deeply into my eyes as he soaped the sponge and started to gently bathe me. He never broke our gaze as he washed me, just used his sense of touch to know where his hands were and what they were doing. The love and desire he felt for me shone clearly in his eyes the whole while. I reached out of the water and cupped the side of his face, I am sure the same feelings were reflecting in mine.

"I love you, Edward," was all I could say.

He leaned in and his lips caressed mine as he breathed, "I love you, now and forever."

_Holy Smokes this was paradise!_

"You could always be my Cabana Boy, Edward."

He snorted, "Cabana boy?"

"Yes. Be a stay at home Cabana Boy. Your career would be to take care of me."

"Sort of like a house husband."

"Cabana Boy sounds sexier."

"Would I have a uniform?"

I mused as he picked up one of my legs and started to wash my foot, "Well, when you had to wear something, I guess tight jeans and a t-shirt would work. I would spend my time ogling your ass and pecs."

He grinned, "Can I ogle you, as well?"

"I'd get the better end of that deal, I think, but sure," I grinned back at him.

His eyes twinkled at me as he moved the sponge up my leg, "And what exactly is the job description for a Cabana Boy?"

I leaned back against the rounded tub side, trying to ignore the sponge as it neared my bits and pieces, "Well, you'd have to keep me clean."

"Check," he said.

"And you'd have to keep me entertained," he rubbed the sponge against my upper inner thigh.

"Check."

"There must be daily make out sessions," I added.

"Check. Definitely, Check," he gave me a sample kiss. It was good.

"Also, you'd have to give mind blowing orgasms on a frequent basis," I was a little breathy now.

"Mind-blowing? I could try."

As he started to rub the sponge between my legs, I muttered, "I don't think you'd have to try very hard." I gripped the sides of the tub as he concentrated his efforts for a while.

"Anything else?"

"Uhm…" I was getting close. "Uhm…. I can't … think…of…anyth—OH, EDWAAAAARD!" I involuntarily drew my knees up to my chest in electric reaction to Edward's talented touch. I squeezed my eyes shut, savoring the feelings coursing through me and trying to get my breath.

I opened my eyes and saw him smiling smugly at me, "I guess I get the job, don't I?"

I laughed, stood up on shaky legs and reached for my towel.

"No! Let me! That's a Cabana Boy responsibility, I believe." He deftly wrapped the towel around me and then lifted me out of the tub, drying me off with its fluffy folds.

"I'll let you know about the job. I am not sure Cabana Boy was the sort of occupation your poor mother Elizabeth thought would be your destiny, or Carlisle for that matter."

"It is obvious to me and everyone in my family now and it would have also been obvious to my human mother that you are part of my destiny, call me a Cabana Boy, or whatever else you can think of. I am yours."

I wrapped the towel around myself and went to the sink to brush my teeth. I noticed Edward was draining and wiping the tub. He definitely was first in line for the Cabana Boy job. I wouldn't even have to train him. He's golden.

Going into the bedroom, I slipped on a matching bra and panty set and my favorite jeans and top (an original 2005 Nine Inch Nail tour tee), and started to brush my hair. Edward followed me across the hall and was leaning in the doorway watching me with a bemused look on his face.

"What are you thinking about there, Cabana Boy?"

"How good this feels to me."

"This?" I looked at him curiously.

"Just being together, talking, teasing, et cetera."

"It is nice. I've enjoyed it, too. Especially the et cetera." I set my brush down and walked over to him, grinning. "This is fun."

Edward looked at me intently, "We could do this for the rest of forever, Bella."

"It's tempting."

"So, will you?"

I sighed, knowing I needed more information, "Let's go see Carlisle."

**AN: So? What did you think? Please review and let me know.**

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**Chapter 18: Chapter 18: Family Matters**

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AN: Okay, kids. A lemon ahead. Thanks to MissBellaIII for her good advice and encouragement. And thanks to the rest of you for reading and leaving reviews.

Chapter 18 Family

*** EPOV

Bella and I walked hand-in-hand into the Cullen home to find the whole crew sitting around the dining room table. They watched us with various degrees of anticipation on their faces.

"Ah, we've been expecting you," Carlisle said, then gestured to the two empty seats at the table. I was smugly satisfied when I noticed there was one more chair there than previously. It made an even eight places at our family table. Bella was now a Cullen whether she realized it or not.

I looked at Alice and said, "You gave everyone a psychic heads up, didn't you?"

Alice just grinned. She was seated at the table but just barely. She was buzzing with excitement having to hold herself in her seat to stay in one place, which in itself gave me my own heads up. This meeting might be more portentous than I originally had thought.

I held a chair out for Bella to sit in and I took the one next to her. I said, "I guess all of you are interested in what I found in Europe?"

Most of my family seemed fairly curious about what I was going to say. Alice, as I had already noticed, was buzzing. Jasper seemed more amused at his wife's antics than anything about me. Emmett was stretched out in his seat, hands behind his head, grinning with good humor, ready for any adventure that could be coming his way. Rosalie sat at his side, studying her nails with a bored look. Esme was next to Carlisle, wearing a serene and loving expression, totally happy to have her whole family together at last.

Their minds were all saying basically the same thing, "_We've waited long enough. Now give!"_ Actually, Rosalie was thinking more along the lines of "_Get it over with, moron." _Rose was good for my ego. She always made sure I never got conceited.

In his thoughts, Emmett also wanted to know why we were so late getting there. I shot him a 'mind your own business' look but Emmett snickered anyway. He knew what had most likely distracted us. _Alice had us gather twice before and then sent us away. She said you and Bella kept getting side tracked. _

Probably everyone sitting there knew the reason we were so tardy. I reached for Bella's hand and held it securely on my lap. I hoped for her sake, they all kept those particular thoughts in their heads.

I couldn't help, though, but to look around the table at each family member and smile happily. I was in love with my perfect Bella, who miraculously loved me back. The consummation of our relationship had left me euphoric. This moment was perfect.

Jasper arched his eyebrow and grinned right back at me, _Damn, Edward. Happy much? _

All I could do was smile.

Carlisle cleared his throat and requested patiently, "Edward?"

I chuckled, "Okay. Okay. Actually, my trip to the Romanians was pretty interesting. The setting was so clichéd, though. Creepy old castle, Lurch-like butler, lightening, bats in the belfrey. It was really hard to take the old vampires seriously. They seemed to enjoy the theatrics.

"Curiously, Vladimir and Stefan appeared to be asleep on their thrones when Rüdiger and I arrived. At first, I couldn't hear a thought from them and was worried." I looked over at Bella, "I was afraid they could block my gift as you are able to. But as soon as Lurch announced us, they 'woke' up and were immediately aware of us and I could 'hear' their thoughts.

"I've never seen or heard of a vampire being able to shut down his mind and give the appearance of, for all intents and purposes, sleep."

Carlisle was quiet for a bit then said, "I think it is a learned behavior or perhaps as a vampire 'matures,' for lack of a better term, they can achieve some sort of zen-like state. I've seen it before but not as deeply, with one of the Volturi. Vladimir and Stefan are much older than the Italians."

Emmett looked at Carlisle, the oldest of us by centuries, and asked, "Have you ever felt like you were getting sleepy, Carlisle?"

Carlisle laughed, "I am afraid not but I am considered fairly young in their eyes. Maybe it is something that we can look forward to when we are a couple a thousand years old?"

I shrugged. The lack of the ability to sleep was one thing I regretted only when I was repeating high school forever or when I was pining for Bella. I had no desire to sleep any longer.

Carlisle went on, "So what were they thinking, Edward?"

"They were curious about me. At least Stefan was. Vladimir was simply suspicious. Carlisle, did you know that Stefan preferred men to women?"

"Uh. Well, yes. He makes it pretty clear to the men he is interested in," Carlisle looked down at the table for a bit, his mouth pursed._ He always made me very uncomfortable._ Stefan must have approached Carlisle in the past.

Emmett choked out a laugh, "Did he come on to you, bro? That must have been disturbing."

I shook my head, "No, Emmett, but I could read his mind. I think the line of questioning Rüdiger was putting Vladimir through got us chased out of there before he could make a proposition. I was pretty relieved. He wasn't my type."

After the laughter died down, Carlisle prompted, "So, what other things did you discover?"

"They were worried that if I touched them, I'd learn their secrets. Evidently there's someone in Volterra who can do that."

Carlisle snorted, "Aro can read every thought anyone ever had but he has to be touching them. That's probably what they were afraid of with you. They didn't want to take any chances."

"Fortunately, they didn't learn of my talent, at least as far as I knew.

"Rüdiger was the chief questioner. I could pick their brains while they concentrated on my companion. They first seemed surprised we were looking for a vagabond vampire named Helmut. We floated the idea that we wanted to ask him questions about 'the old ones.' That inspired quite a violent internal reaction from Vladimir. He didn't want us to know anything and was inwardly shouting about it.

"The thoughts I was able to glean during our conversation were:

We'd never learn anything from Helmut because they had made sure that no artifacts concerning the origins could be found.

We weren't going to learn anything about 'the old ones" from them. They don't tell people anything useful. They like knowing things that others don't.

There used to be many more vampires in their vicinity.

The Volturi destroyed the other Romanian vampires and crippled Vladimir and Stefan's power.

Vladimir would like vengeance on the Volturi.

Stefan pictured the vampiric beginnings in a place that looked a lot like the Nile River Valley. I suppose it could have also been the Euphrates, as well. There were palm trees, stone buildings and hidden beings who shunned the light. There was a female vampire with long, straight black hair who was standing in the shadows of one of those stone buildings.

Vladimir said nonchalantly that the 'old ones' were mythical creatures. He thought much differently and much more vehemently.

Vladimir used to have a mate who deserted him. Her name was Ammut. She must have been the one to change Vladimir in the first place. He still mourns her memory and wonders where she went. Stefan refers to her as the Egyptian bitch and hates when Vladimir thinks about her because he becomes difficult to live with. Evidently, her practice was to go from lover to lover over the millennia. I got the impression that Vladimir was just one in a long line.

There is a recipe for blood beer.

Emmett shouted, "HOT DAMN! Vampire beer! You've got to give me the recipe."

"Dude, it sounds putrid to me but whatever floats your boat," I commented.

I turned to the others, "That's all I got out of them. When I got back here, I researched Ammut to see if I could find any human historical notes on her and discovered that she was an Egyptian demoness and was feared as the eater of hearts, devourer of souls. She disposed of those who weren't considered good enough for the afterlife. That's a suitable occupation for a vampire, don't you think?"

Alice spoke up, "How does this information help Bella make her decision, though?"

I looked over at Bella and said, "It illustrates that vampire mates are eternal. She'd never have to worry about our relationship palling but unless we find something significant to do with ourselves, we'll end up as dried out, angry and vengeful as Vladimir and Stefan are and bored out of our minds as Ammut evidently became."

"But evidently Ammut was a player," Rosalie stated.

"Yes, she was but I don't think she was 'mated' to Vladimir. I think he was to her, though. He still suffers greatly from her loss and is very loyal to her memory."

I turned to Carlisle, "Can you parse together anything else from what I learned?"

"I think you did well, son. I remember whispers about the old ones and it does seem likely that some of them, at least, found their origins in the Middle East or African Continent. The old ones were the progenitors, the first. As far as I know, no one knows how it all began but the old ones were the first. I've also heard rumors that the old ones have fallen asleep. The revitalizing word or phrase has been forgotten and so they sleep on.

"This reminds me of what you witnessed when you first saw the Romanians. What exactly did, er, Lurch, say when he announced you to them?"

I thought for a bit, "He cleared his voice and said, 'Herr Rüdiger von Warsteiner *and Mr. Edward Cullen.'"

Emmett snickered at Rüdiger's last name. _Dude, I have got to meet this guy!_

Carlisle said, "Your names were unique to the situation. Perhaps it was the throat clearing that was an auditory clue for them to pay attention and reanimate themselves or maybe it was something entirely. I don't think this should concern us too much but it does imply that eternity eventually becomes tedious. It's something to think about."

"I suppose it's how you spend your eternity, though," Esme said. She had been quietly listening to us. "I am sure that anything could become dull if you weren't doing anything but selfish acts. It didn't sound to me if the Romanians had ever done anything for others. Perhaps the Egyptians were the same way. That's what happens when you only think of what you want. Your existence becomes boring."

All the more reason for us to stop the High School farce we'd been playing for decades and get busy with making something out of ourselves. I didn't say this out loud, though. This revelation was one my brothers and sisters needed to discover for themselves.

I had said all that I had to say, reported all that I had found. Other than a few curiosities, and the reaffirmation of the eternal bonding of vampire mates, I hadn't said anything very unexpected or portentous. I wondered why Alice had been so keyed up? Perhaps it was coming.

Carlisle stood from the table, "Unless anyone has anything to add, I think we are finished here."

No one said anything, so I stood and gave Bella my hand. She had been quiet during the meeting and I was very curious to ask what she was thinking, but I thought it would be better to ask in private.

There was a general exodus from the dining room. Carlisle silently informed me that the family was going hunting leaving the house for Bella and me to enjoy alone.

Esme said to Bella, "If you get hungry, Bella, there's plenty of food in the refrigerator and I baked a quiche for you this morning. Please help yourself."

"Thank you very much, Esme. That's very kind." Bella smiled lovingly at my mother. I hoped this time Esme didn't confuse the ingredients.

With my family heading for the National Park that was nearby, I took Bella upstairs to my room. As soon as I shut the door, I turned to her, scooped her up and dumped her in the middle of my bed, then slid on top of her. She laughed in surprise, "Edward, you just can't wait to break in this new bed!"

I laughed as I embraced her, marveling at how good it felt to hold and kiss her like this. "Heaven," I sighed.

"What?" Bella asked.

"This is like heaven to me," I kissed her again but I rolled off of her. I wanted to talk before we got distracted. It was very easy to get distracted.

I cradled her in my arms and asked, "Do you have any thoughts about what we talked about downstairs?"

"I am still processing some of it as well as the things I learned from Charlie and Renee while they were here."

I was surprised at the last, "Really?"

"Yes. I think the fact that Charlie accepted that there may be a change in store for me so easily had a lot to do with the fact that my life was beginning to be a carbon copy of his and he didn't want that for me."

"A carbon copy?"

"Yes. It seems Renee left him without any discussion or any choice in the manner all those years ago and he's spent his whole adult life pining for her. I think he's been very lonely and I don't think he wants that for me, even if it means I'll have to become a vampire to stay with you. He wants me to be happy."

_Way to go, Charlie! _

Bella went on, "Your discoveries in Transylvania only reinforced what I already knew, because not only eternity gets boring without a bigger purpose to it, a human life gets boring, too… and it doesn't surprise me that you can love someone forever."

She whispered the last part and looked at me with her chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't resist kissing her again. Her lips were soft and warm and delicious. I could spend eternity just kissing her but I don't think Bella would consider that a 'bigger purpose' enough for me.

But the human had to breathe. Bella pulled away smiling, "So when are you going to Chicago to check on your personal history?"

"Since I came back to Winchester earlier than I had originally planned, I hadn't thought much more about it. I still want to go, though. Perhaps, you could go with me?"

"I'd love to, Edward, but could we work around my work schedule? I can't afford to take any more time off."

"We could do that. We could go on long weekend. Do have anything like that coming up?"

"I think we have Columbus Day off, or the Monday closest to Columbus Day."

"That's only in a couple of weeks."

"Can you wait that long?"

I slid my hand under Bella's t-shirt and said, "I believe I can find something to keep me busy until then."

*** Charlie's POV

I settled in my seat in the coach section of the airplane that was taking me back to "gloomy" Forks. I snorted, thinking of what Renee had said. Oh, well. My motto has always been not to worry about shit I couldn't do anything about. I couldn't do anything about Bella except keep my door open. She was going to do what she was going to do, and my gut told me she was going to be with Edward. My gut was usually right. As long as I got to be a part of her life, I wasn't going to worry about anything else.

I thought back over the revelations I had over the past week.

My best friend's kid was a _werewolf._ I couldn't do anything about that.

My daughter was in love with a _vampire._ Couldn't do anything about that, either.

Because he was a vampire, she was probably going to become a vampire herself. Also, nothing I could do anything about without destroying our relationship.

And my ex-wife was an _idiot_. Didn't _care _to do anything about that.

However, after Renee's confession that she left me and took our daughter with her for no better reason than she didn't like the rain*, I realized that I could do something about how I dealt with that. I could stop being hung up over her.

I reclined my seat a little and crossed my legs. A few minutes later, the flight attendant leaned over me, smiled and asked me if she could get me anything.

She was damn cute. I smiled back at her and said, "Ya got any Rainier beer?"

She laughed and said with a Pacific Northwest inflection, "Good old Vitamin R? I am afraid not but I know where they serve it in SeaTac."

"Yeah? Maybe you could show me when this tin can lands?"

She grinned and gave me an appraising look, "Well, maybe I could."

After making arrangements to meet her after the flight, she left to do her duties. I leaned back in my seat, smiling and self-satisfied. It's about time Ol' Charlie started living again. Hmmm…maybe it was time to lose the 'stache?

***BPOV

Each time we made love, it was better and better and sweeter and sweeter. I felt like I was floating as I laid in his arms, enjoying the afterglow of glorious intimacy. We had finally broken in his bed – and his floor for that matter. I smiled remembering how he worshipped me with his body, his lips kissing, his fingers trailing, his tongue delving. It gave me shivers to remember it.

Edward pulled me up so that I was lying flat on top of him, my face looking down into his, my lips not far from his own. I was tempted to caress them once again.

"Bella, would you like a bath?"

I blinked self-consciously, "Do I stink?" With all the loving we had done, I wasn't surprised.

"Lord, no. You smell heavenly to me but I thought you may enjoy a bath – with me perhaps?"

"You have a bath tub big enough for two?"

"It's an old tub made in the day when lolling about in a bath was considered an art form. This one is particularly sumptuous. It is similar to yours but bigger."

"Show me this amazing thing, then," I said as I rolled off of him.

He led me into the adjoining bathroom, which in typical Cullen fashion was as big as most people's bedrooms. Under a large picture window, stood a deep-sided, amazingly luxurious, cast iron bath tub. It was certainly big enough for two. It was almost big enough for a whole family.

"You were planning this, Edward?" There were unlit candles strewn about. A bottle of bath salts nestled on top of a stack of fluffy towels that were piled next to the bathtub.

He had leaned over to start the water flowing and shook his head, "No, I didn't do this. This looks like Alice's work. I wonder what she's up to?"

"Well, let's take advantage of her preparations, then. I'd like a candle lit bath." I went around the room, lighting the candles with a lighter that Alice had also conveniently left us. Edward poured some divine smelling bath salts in the steaming water and then pressed the switch to an iPod dock that was sitting on a nearby shelf. I smiled to hear a piano playing the theme from the old movie, "Love Story." Soft piano music had become the background for our love – I suppose it always had been.

I piled my hair up on the top of my head and stuck a clip in it, then took Edward's outstretched hand and stepped with him into the heavenly bath. Edward sat, then pulled me down between his legs so that I rested in front of him along his body. The hot water was warming Edward and I noticed he wasn't as cold as he normally was. I lay against him, my back to his chest, in utter bliss as Edward gently held me close, his lips right next to my ear.

"I love you Bella," he whispered.

His legs and arms cradled me in the almost too hot water and he began murmuring a soft litany in my ear, "I love how your hair falls like a thick curtain around us when you lean over me. I love the soft, perfumed spot right behind your ear that smells like heaven to me. I love how your breasts react when I gently stroke them to turgid peaks. I love how you shiver as I softly stroke your arms, your legs, your hips. I love how your nipples taste when I lick them and feel when I suck on them. I love hearing your soft gasps when something I've done feels good to you. I love touching you _there_ and how it makes you quiver with desire as I please you. I love the way you feel to me when I am inside you – warm, soft, slick, and entirely intoxicating. I want to make love to you for the rest of forever."

He demonstrated each of his thoughts as he was telling me about them, finally lifting me up so that I could guide him into me. We both moaned in pleasure as I settled down on him and started to move my hips. He drifted one of his beautiful, long-fingered hands down my stomach to touch me right above where we were joined and start to rub in delightful circles.

I turned my head, my lips searching for and needing his. Our kiss, feeling him filling me, with one of his hands massaging and the other rubbing, soon pushed me over the edge. I cried out in pure pleasure.

As I was spiraling back down to earth, Edward growled, "I can't get enough of you," and within two seconds I was lifted out of the bath to sprawl upon a pile of towels in the middle of the bathroom floor. Our fingers were intertwined as they lay on either side of my head. My position caused my back to arch which created an intense friction as Edward moved above me.

"Bella, look at me," he whispered and I opened my eyes to look into his as he thrust deeper and deeper. Our gazes locked, baring our souls in the moment of sheer pleasure, and perfect love. I pushed my hips up against him and suddenly the most intense orgasm I'd ever experienced ripped through me. I think I screamed.

My reaction was too much for Edward and he fell to pieces almost immediately after I did. I felt him burst warmly inside of me, something new in the way of sensations. Before, if I felt anything when he climaxed it was simply a cold rush but this time I felt heat.

Making love with him was so amazing to me. I doubted I would ever get my mind completely around how right it felt, how perfect.

We lay there in each other's arms waiting for my heart beat to slow when Edward reluctantly said, "My family's back from hunting. I guess it is time to get dressed."

I helped him straighten up his suite and then got back into my clothes that had been strewn haphazardly around the room. (My bra was hanging from the lampshade.) I straightened out my hair a bit but kept it up in a clip. There was no way I was going to get it to look presentable without a lot of bother.

We went down stairs hand in hand, only to be met by an over excited Alice. She rushed up to me and clasped me in a huge hug, "Oh Bella, I am so happy…"

"You're happy? That's good but why exactly? Is there something I should know?"

Edward looked sharply at Alice, "Alice, what are you hiding?"

She gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look, "Hiding? Me? Nothing, Edward. I swear!"

"Alice, you are singing every Cyndi Lauper song that was ever recorded in your head. That tells me something is going on."

"Oh Edward, stop being such a party pooper. You'll find out soon enough. Don't worry. It's all good." Alice beamed brightly at us. I just shrugged and followed Edward out to his car so he could take me back home. I had to prepare to go back to work in the morning and soon I forgot all about Alice and her excitement.

In the next couple of weeks, I got back into the groove at school and Edward registered as a student at the Shenandoah Conservatory of Arts. He was very late entering the semester but after the proctors heard him audition by playing some of his original pieces, they waived most of the admission requirements and soon he was hip deep in doing what he loved: music.

Sometimes he'd come over to my school and have lunch with me in my classroom. The students were curious about Miss Swan's boyfriend, even more so when they discovered he was a Cullen. His moods were so sunny and his dazzling smile was always on his lips, half the student body was in love with him. I was in the library one day checking on the availability of resource materials my students were going to need when I overheard two girls whispering together on the other side of the shelves.

"Have you seen Miss Cullen's boyfriend?"

"Oh my God! He's gorgeous!"

"He held a door open for me yesterday and I thought I was going to die. I am sure I must have drooled. He's so divine."

"He's Alice and Emmett Cullen's older brother, did you know?"

"I had heard that. I wonder how Miss Swan met him."

"Someone said that she knew the Cullens from way back. It was just a fluke that she met up with them here. She used to date the oldest one but they broke it off or something and then when she saw Alice she remembered her, so from there, she got back together with the brother. His name's Edward or something, isn't it?"

"Edward? I don't know. I just call him Hot Pockets."

"Hot Pockets? Why?"

"Because I just want to slip my hand into the back pocket of his jeans and squeeze. His ass is HOT!"

Giggles erupted from their side of the bookcase and I decided I needed to put an end to their silliness. I walked around the end of the bookcase and looked up at the books on the top shelf. I acted as though I didn't see them. I heard a muffled gasp, a small titter, then when I turned to look down the aisle, I saw the disappearing backs of the two girls as they made a quick exit.

At least the gossip was fairly accurate. It was becoming very common to see Edward and me around town, always together and completely happy. Edward told me he was courting me and because of that and the fact that I was being watched by a school full of students (and teachers and administrators, for that matter), he never spent the night with me. I was a little disappointed about that but he made sure I didn't feel neglected in any other sense. He swept me off my feet more times than I could count and I learned more and more about the delicious physical expression of love.

One night, after we'd loved and were lying in a blissful state in each other's arms, I asked, "Edward, are you sure you didn't have any experience doing this before?"

A wrinkle appeared between his brows, "Bella, you know I was inexperienced. I wouldn't lie about that. I was never interested in anyone in that way before I met you." His expression relaxed and he smirked, "Now, I can hardly stop thinking about it."

"Neither can I. I've become such a wanton. Edward, you make me feel so good, it seems impossible that you're not very practiced." He just looked at me. I was expecting his expression to reflect his disgruntlement with my statement but he looked self-conscious instead.

So, I stated the obvious, "Edward, you look embarrassed."

I swear, if he could have blushed he would have. He broke eye contact with me and said, "I've been doing some research."

Now, I was surprised, "Research?"

"Bella, I've lived for almost ninety years with couples who most certainly were experienced in love making and I can read their minds."

Now it was my turn to blush, "You learned technique from listening in on your _family?"_

Edward just cleared his throat, "Well, let's say I try not to pay a lot of attention to what they do. I give them as much privacy as I am capable. But when it seemed likely that you and I were going to have that experience ourselves, I asked Alice what I should do."

"You asked Alice?" I was sort of eeked out by that. But maybe this explained the bathroom decorations a few days back.

"Alice didn't tell me anything in words – she just recalled specific incidences that would answer my questions quite comprehensively. It was like she handed me three memories and said, look at these and then left me. Since you are pleased with me, I'd say my method of research worked."

Then he winked at me, the scoundrel. I lightly punched him in the arm but then became thoughtful and asked, "Should I ask Alice what I can do to make it better for you?"

It was his turn to be scandalized, "I am pleased, beyond pleased, Bella. Making love with you is heaven to me. I couldn't imagine anything you could do to delight me more. Please don't ask Alice."

I laughed and hugged him closer and soon we were employing his research once again.

For those two sweet short weeks, life was idyllic.

AN:

*I know that SAD is a real and devastating syndrome but Charlie, like a lot of uninformed people, probably wouldn't have much empathy concerning it.

*Warsteiner is sort of the PBR of Germany.

* * *

**Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Chicago**

* * *

AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns all things copyright.

Chapter 19 Chicago

***BPOV

Edward and I left for the airport as soon as I got out of school on Friday. We were in the air by six p.m. and then back on the ground in Chicago in a little over an hour after that. The flight sure beat the ten hour drive.

Edward rented a car and drove into the city directly to the hotel where we had reservations. I'd never been to Chicago before, and as I sat next to Edward, resting my hand on his thigh as he drove into the city, my eyes were darting everywhere trying to take in everything. It looked marvelous.

Our hotel was not too far from Lake Michigan, in fact once we got settled in our room, I opened the drapes and we had a stunning view of not just the lake but of the city as well. I know I stood there for ten minutes just soaking it in. Edward came up behind me and put his arms around my waist and nuzzled my hair, which had become his usual habit. I always leaned back against him and put my arms over his and clasped his hands as they pulled me tightly against his chest. I sighed in contentment.

He inhaled deeply as we stood together and said, "You've been smelling exceptionally wonderful lately."

I chuckled, "Thank you, I think?"

"No, I mean it. It's still your amazing fragrance but more so – richer, fuller, deeper." He inhaled again and groaned in ecstasy.

Ah, the weirdness of having a vampire for a boyfriend.

"Does anything look familiar to you from when you were a boy, Edward?"

He chuckled, "Well, I think the lake looks recognizable but other than that, no. I've been back to Chicago several times since I was a boy, though, so I am familiar with the way it is now."

"In which direction did you live, Edward?"

He pointed to the North West, "Somewhere up there. Tomorrow we'll go look at it. It so happens, the house where I grew up is being sold and so I have an appointment with a realtor tomorrow morning to show it to me."

"Do you remember your old home?"

"Not really. A few flashes of memory but nothing really vivid. Honestly, I don't remember much of my life before I was changed. I couldn't even tell you how to get to my old home. I had to use mapquest."

"What will we do in the meantime?" I batted my eyes at him.

He smiled not so innocently at me and said, "How about we get some room service for the human and then try out that neat looking Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom?"

That sounded fine with me, and so we did and followed our Jacuzzi time with some really stellar necking on the king sized bed. I drifted off to sleep in his arms, completely contented, and supremely happy.

The next morning Edward ordered room service again: bacon and eggs with wheat toast, orange juice and coffee. I sat down at the little table next to the window to study the fascinating city as I leisurely ate my breakfast.

I started to pour the coffee from the carafe into the waiting mug. The odor of the coffee hit me in the nose like a prize fighter. My stomach heaved. I got up and stepped back from the table, a nice shade of green.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

"I don't know. The smell of the coffee is upsetting my stomach."

"Has that happened before?"

"Never. I love my morning coffee." I shrugged, "It's probably the excitement of being here or something." I had to quickly pour the coffee from the mug back into the carafe and then move the coffee over to the other side of the room. I couldn't tolerate even the faintest whiff.

I promptly forgot about this small aberration as Edward began to tell me his plans for the day. We were to meet the realtor in our hotel lobby at 9:30 am who was going to drive us to Edward's former home and show us around. In fact, Edward had asked her to let us browse around the house on our own for a while. I wondered if Edward's old home had been remodeled and revamped so much over the years that it would fail to trigger any memories Edward may have.

I dressed warmly because the wind off the lake was very chilly. I'd forgotten how uncomfortable cold weather was having lived in Florida during the winter for the last four years. Edward entwined his fingers in mine as we rode the elevator to the lobby a little before we were to meet the Realtor, Ginny Blaize. Ginny turned out to be a fiery, friendly, red head who seemed as excited to show us the house as we were to see it.

She said to me, "Will this be your first home?"

I looked at Edward and let him answer. I had no idea what his cover story was.

"Yes, actually, it is. Please tell me about the neighborhood," he asked in hopes of distracting her. She started talking about how originally the area had been built after the great fire of 1871, so the house was approaching one hundred and forty years old. The houses were unusual for city homes in that they were set on lawns as single family manses. She said we were in for a treat because Edward's house had been updated with newer utilities and wiring but basically it remained as it had been when it was first built. She called it a historical treasure.

This was good news. Maybe it would remind Edward of something significant about his past if it was similar to what he remembered.

We drove down a tree lined street and pulled up in front of a two-storied, red brick house, with a broad front porch and mullioned windows on either side of the central doorway. Ginny unlocked it for us then bid us a cheery goodbye saying she'd be back in an hour. Edward stood on the street, hands in his pockets, staring up at his old home a dreamy look on his face. I didn't say anything, just let him gaze. It was his time to explore.

He didn't say anything either, just sighed and walked up to the door and pushed it open gesturing for me to go in ahead of him. It was empty and dusty in the house as if it hadn't been lived in for a while. I wandered around the first floor, admiring the lovely woodwork, spacious rooms, and high ceilings. In the back of the house was the kitchen that seemed to have been modernized within the last twenty years or so. There was a small half bath under the stairs but from what I could tell, it didn't look as if much had been done to the house. The walls and rooms still looked like they'd be original.

Edward looked around and only said, "Hmmm."

We went up stairs and down the hall to a bedroom in the front of the house.

"This was mine." I jumped, not really expecting Edward to say anything.

"This was your bedroom?"

"Yes. My mother put but big cabbage-rosed wall paper up, but in masculine tones or so she claimed. I was cheesed off about that. They were still flowers, big, ugly brown ones."

There wasn't a flower to be seen at the moment as the walls were a dingy white. I saw a door that must be a closet and so I opened it. By today's standards, it was tiny but since most houses didn't even have closets in the bedroom in those days, I am sure this was a big thing in Edward's time. I turned on the light bulb that was hanging down from a wire and could tell that someone had painted over the wallpaper that had once adorned the walls inside. I scratched at the flaking paint and giggled in surprise. Sure enough, there were brown roses under that paint.

"Look, Edward," I said indicating my find.

"Yep. That was it. Hideous isn't it?"

I laughed, "Edward, it was probably the height of fashion then."

"That doesn't say much about the height of fashion, does it?"

"I'll have to tell Alice you said that. Are you having any other memories, Edward?"

"Yes. They make me sad."

I reached out and put my hand on his arm in sympathy, "Are you thinking about your folks?"

"Yes. The thing about becoming a vampire is that you forget your past – it becomes like a half heard story of someone else's life. I never was able to mourn my Mother and Father but coming here, I remember them. I remember pressing my nose against the windows as a little kid waiting eagerly for my father to come home from work. I remember my mother humming as she worked in the kitchen and the sound of her shoes climbing that staircase. I remember lying in bed in this room and staring up at the ceiling before I drifted off to sleep. It's all gone now and has been for a long time." He sighed.

I put my arms around him and he returned my embrace. I kissed his neck and he leaned down to bury his nose in my hair. I heard and felt him inhale and his body shuddered and he relaxed. I hugged him as tightly as I could and whispered, "You have me now, Edward."

He lifted his head to look into my eyes, "Thank you, Bella. You make this bearable."

I felt a little humor might go a long way at this juncture, so I stood on my toes to press a kiss against his lips. He, of course, returned the kiss, smiling afterwards.

I pressed my hips into his and said, "So Edward, did you ever think you'd be kissing a girl up here?"

My comment had the desired effect. He snickered, "Uhm. Let's see. I was a typical teenaged boy in this room. What do you think?"

"You told me you never had feelings like this until you met me."

He cleared his throat and looked at me as if I was crazy, "I didn't have feelings for a specific _girl _before you, Bella, but I did have feelings - desires."

I gave him my best coquettish smile and drawled, "So, would you like to re-enact a few of those desires, Eddie?"

"You are a minx, Bella," he said incredulously but I ground my hips against his again and I could tell the idea excited him.

I put my hands in the back pockets of his jeans and groped his butt, "Kiss me, Hot Pockets."

He barked a laugh, "There's a girl in your school who calls me that."

I was scandalized, "She does out loud?!"

"Well, she doesn't _say_ it but she sure _thinks_ it loud enough."

I giggled, "Well, I have to say, I agree with her."

"You do?" He flexed his glutes for me.

"Yes. Edward. You turn me right on with that kind of business. Kiss me."

And so we kissed and did a few more things that required a wall to put my back against while he had his way with me in his boyhood bedroom. Holy crow, as I used to say when I was a lot more innocent. It was hot.

We spent the last few minutes of our self-guided tour looking around the second floor, then went out into the back yard. Edward was delighted to see a huge Maple tree out there.

"I remember this tree, Bella!" he exclaimed. He ran over to it and searched the bark, then shouted. "It's here! Look, Bella!"

Just above the reach of his hand was what looked like a puckered scar in the bark of the tree. If you looked at it closely you could make out an E.M. carefully carved into it.

"Did you do that, Edward?"

"I did and I got in trouble for it, too. Carving one's initials in a tree can stress it. My mother was an avid gardener. I am glad it is still here."

"You know, Edward, maybe we could think of something to commemorate to your parents? Plant a tree in a park, contribute to a gallery or library? We could honor them that way."

Edward smiled, "That's a great idea, Bella. That's what I'll do." He leaned down to kiss me and those familiar sparks shivered up and down my spine.

Just then, we heard a horn beep in front of the house and a, "Yoo Hoo!"

"I guess Ginny returns," Edward said, as he grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the house.

"How'd you like it?" she asked.

"We liked it but it needs a lot of work."

"The owners realize that and so they've put it on the market at a really good price."

Edward nodded.

"They are only asking $499.999 for it."

Edward blinked, "A half-a-million dollars?"

Ginny turned to me and eagerly said, "I bet you could think of all sorts of things to do in that house."

I gasped. I know my eyes looked wildly at Edward's. The only thing I had thought of doing in this house was to sex up my man. Edward started to snigger. I started to giggle, then we both erupted into laughter leaving Ginny looking at us like we were insane.

Finally, Edward stopped laughing long enough to tell the realtor that he needed to crunch some numbers and he'd get back to her. She drove us back to our hotel chatting amiably about how wonderful it was to live in Chicago, especially for young couples. She was a really nice lady. I was sorry we were such poor prospects for her.

We got back to our hotel and Edward guided me into the café to feed me. He sat across from me as I ate a BLT and drank a coke.

"What are you going to do about the house, Edward?"

"I don't know, Bella. I don't want to buy a house that we won't be living in. I don't know for sure if there's going to be a long term "we" in my future right now. And I sure as hell don't want to live there by myself. Who would help me disperse those ghosts? I'd wind up becoming as morbid as the Romanians."

His statement was like a bucket of ice water thrown in my face. I couldn't imagine how I avoided realizing what saying no to Edward would mean to him in the future. I had only been thinking of myself and my determined assertion that I didn't need anyone to live a fulfilled life. But what would happen to Edward if I chose a human life? I knew now that the pain I'd cause him would be agonizing. How could I do that to the man I loved? Even the thought of it caused me to cringe in pain.

What would and eternal life cost to me? Since Charlie found out about "the secret," there would be no need to shut him out. Surely we could find something so that Renee could still figure in my life?

I had been worried I would miss human experiences that would come with aging. Couldn't I gain wisdom without old age? They weren't necessarily prerequisites of each other.

I wouldn't have children. That was a big price to pay but was it a deal breaker? Many people lived fulfilling lives without experiencing parenthood.

What about death and what happens afterwards? It struck me that no one actually knew for sure. Would I want to take a chance that there was something beyond and lose what I actually had? Where is the logic in that? Where is the happiness in that?

Would I have to give up my independence? No. Edward had gone out of his way to demonstrate the respect he had for me and my self-determination. He treated me as his equal and loved me as his equal. Walking side by side with him in life would not be relinquishing who I was.

I now understood that I could be fulfilled in all ways possible except for the way that mattered the most to me. I was beginning to realize that not only would Edward be morbidly lost if we were apart, I would be, too.

I could live without Edward. I just didn't want to.

***EPOV

I was beginning to think it hadn't been such a good idea to reunite with Bella. If she chose to live her life without me, I know now a major part of me would die. There would be no joy again. That thought made me sick to my stomach. But when I thought of the love Bella and I shared the past few weeks, I knew I would never regret that. If my place in heaven was only going to be for a short time, I would be content with what I had.

_Oh, buck up, Edward! You don't know what the future holds so enjoy what you have now. Don't worry about the future until you know you have something to worry about._

I smiled at Bella as I reached across the table to hold her hand, "What did you think about my old home?"

"It was lovely, Edward. I could see a lot of potential there. But you were right; it would take a lot of work – especially with those cabbage roses in the bed room." She winked at me.

I squeezed her hand, "You make everything better, Bella."

She grinned back at me and finished her lunch.

"What's on the agenda for this afternoon?"

"Tomorrow we are going to Rockford, Illinois, the little town my parents were from but today, we could sight-see a bit, if you'd like?"

"I don't know much about Chicago, Edward. Where should we go?"

"It has an amazing art museum, does that sound interesting?"

"Sure!"

"Well then, that's where we'll go."

We spent the afternoon at the Art Institute of Chicago admiring its extensive collection. I had seen it before but sharing it with Bella made it an amazing experience. As we left, I bought her a set of bracelets she had admired in the gift shop. I wanted her to remember this day.

I asked her if she wanted to go out for dinner but she opted to order room service again. She said she was really tired and just wanted to cuddle with me in our room. That sounded fine to me.

After her dinner, she curled up next to me on our bed. I had the television on trying to find something enjoyable for us to watch together but there didn't seem to be anything appealing on at the moment. I gave up and turned it off and said, "Bella, I suppose we are going to have to create our own entertainment tonight."

She smiled at me and said, "That's okay, Edward. I wanted to talk to you any way."

I didn't have a lot of experience in relationships but I knew enough to know that whenever your girlfriend says that she wants to talk, it's usually very bad news. I had a sinking feeling. Her lips were smiling but there was something about the way she held her body, as if she was afraid of something she was going to say.

_Oh, God. If you can still hear to me, please, please help me to do and say the right thing, no matter what Bella is going to tell me. But if you could spare me a little mercy, please have her stay with me?_

I don't think I had prayed since becoming a vampire. I felt for most of those years that I was a pariah, one of the damned, and that I wasn't welcomed to make my pleas known to God. But this time, I couldn't help myself. I was afraid, deathly afraid that Bella was going to tell me that she didn't want to be in my life.

My heart actually hurt and it hadn't beat in ninety years.

I steeled myself and smiled trying to make it easy on her, whatever she needed to tell me.

She put her hand on my chest as if subconsciously she knew of my heart pain and said, "Edward, I hope you're sure of what you want."

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Are you sure you want me forever?"

I shut my eyes and swallowed. How could she doubt my desires? "Yes. I've never been more sure."

She was kneeling at my side facing me. She held my hands and was looking earnestly into my eyes. I returned her gaze afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to look away from her.

"Edward," she whispered, "I choose an immortal life."

Trust Bella to paraphrase a movie when declaring herself. My mouth twitched into a hesitant smile and I whispered, "The Lord of the Rings."

Her eyes twinkled and she smiled, "Yes. Arwen Evenstar and I have a lot in common with each other: drop dead gorgeous boyfriends, cranky fathers, a choice between mortality and immortality… you know, just a typical, hum drum life."

I gathered her up into my arms, the reality of what she said sinking in. It was exactly what I wanted to hear but I had been so afraid of hearing the worst. It was all I had let myself think about. I could hardly understand what she was actually telling me.

"You want to be with me?"

"Yes. I want you forever. I finally realized that I want you every day of forever. I can't imagine a life without you at my side."

My body shook with pent up emotion as I framed her face with my hands and kissed her. I murmured over and over, "Thank you. Thank you, Bella. Thank you."

She returned my fervor and kissed me as often as I kissed her.

I said, "I can't believe how happy I am."

She was smiling at me, "I am happy, too, Edward. When do you want to start this eternal bonding?"

"You truly wish to change into a vampire?"

"Yes, but not right now. I have some obligations to meet – my contract at Wood is a year long. And you will need to finish at the Conservatory. I need to figure out how we'll handle Renee, too. I really don't want to devastate her."

"We don't have to do it for a while, for sure."

"Tell me about the change and exactly what my life will be. I've only heard a few allusions to it but I think I should know more, now."

"Bella, it's painful. There's no way of getting around that. You will burn for three days. Believe me, I will be there with you throughout the whole thing. Then when you are changed, your desire for human blood will be just about uncontrollable. But that passes in a year or so and you'll become like the rest of us. During that time would need to move to a remote, game-filled habitat where few humans venture."

"Your whole family will move with us?"

"It's not necessary for them to be with us but you may enjoy having them around."

"Will I still be myself? Will I forget my human life?"

"Like I said, it will become a faded memory to you. I would suggest that you start making scrap books of things you don't want to forget. Label everything. Then after your change, they'll be there to remind you and you won't lose them. But in the end, you'll still be Bella – just a little more durable."

"That's a good idea. It will give me something to do as I wait."

I grinned at her, "I can think of some other things we could do…"

She laughed, "We can't make love all the time."

"We could try."

"I am sure there would be objections to that from others."

"They're just killjoys." I kissed her on her nose.

"Yeah, killjoys, but they'd object just the same."

I leaned in to kiss her again and enjoyed it as if it were our first time all over again – without the desire to kill her, that is.

She said, "I will still feel the same way about you, won't I, Edward?"

"I'll make sure you do, Bella."

"There's a chance I'll forget?"

"You won't forget but what you feel for me may be overshadowed by blood lust at first."

Bella shuddered in my arms, "I hope I don't forget you. That would be tragic."

"Don't worry. If what you feel for me does seem to fade, just remember it is only temporary and you'll soon feel the same, or more, than you feel now."

"More? I don't see how that's possible."

We were quiet for a while, busying ourselves in kisses and soft murmurs of love. I couldn't get over how lucky I was and how elated I felt.

Bella soon pulled away, saying she wanted to get ready for bed and disappeared into our bathroom. I pulled the covers down and slipped out of my own clothes – all but my boxers. I pulled the drapes open on the windows and turned the lights down. When Bella emerged she was dressed in a filmy blue night gown and I held my arms out to her. She snuggled into my side and I covered us up with the duvet.

I kissed her forehead, "Are you tired, Bella?"

"Exhausted," she answered.

"I guess deciding on eternity is hard work, eh?"

"Must be." She shut her eyes and her breathing started to even out. I started humming her lullaby and marveled at how sweet my life was… no make that how sweet my eternity was.

I took a few moments to thank God. Apparently, He does listen to the damned – or the formerly damned.

The next day, Bella and I drove to Rockford to look for evidence of my past. It was Sunday so none of the county offices were open but I had the addresses of my parent's former homes. The general store my mother's family ran was now the location of a gas station. My father's family home was now an empty lot.

I went to a pay phone at a grocery store and looked up "Masen" and "Wickham", my mother's maiden name, to see if there were any people in the area who had the same name. I found one Masen and one Wickham. I called each one only to find the Wickham who lived in Rockford now, had just moved there from out of state and had never had any family in the area.

John Masen, however had lived in Rockford his whole life and his family had been in the area for more than a hundred years. He seemed like an elderly man over the phone and I asked if Bella and I could visit him. He was eager to see us. He sounded lonely.

We drove up to a small but orderly bungalow and pulled into the drive. We had stopped at a grocery store and picked up a small cake. He grinned as he saw us and thanked us for coming. He offered us some of the cake we had given him and we both refused, saying it was for him to enjoy.

"Thank you for seeing us today, Mr. Masen. I've been doing research on my family and found that they originated from Rockford and I am trying to figure out if I have any family left here."

"Well, well, young sir. You say your last name is Masen?"

"It was but I was adopted at a young age and my name was changed."

"Oh. Where are you from?"

"I was born in Chicago."

"I could have guessed that. Most people who leave Rockford end up there."

"I am a descendent of Elizabeth and Edward Masen. They died in the Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918."

"Edward Masen. Edward Masen. Hmmm. I was born in 1920 – the roaring twenties, flappers, don't you know- my father's name was Charles. He had three brothers and one of them was named Edward but he died before I was born. Yes. I do believe he died in the epidemic. Just a minute."

The old man got up and shuffled out of the room only to return a few minutes later with a large old fashioned picture album. "Let's see…" He flipped through some pages, peering at the inscriptions at the bottom of some old sepia toned pictures.

"Ah, here we are. The Masen boys: Charles, Anthony, Milton and Edward. Evidently, Edward was the oldest."

He pointed him out in the photo and I could recognize the man, a younger man than in the picture I had, with his three brothers.

"I think that's the Edward Masen that I am descended from."

"I don't see how that's possible. Edward and his wife and son were all stricken from the disease and they died. There was nothing left of them."

"Actually, Edward Anthony Masen, Jr., the son, did survive. He was taken in by the doctor who was caring for him and eventually adopted the doctor's name. Perhaps he didn't know he had relatives to go to."

"Do you have any proof of it?" The old man was doubtful.

"I have his birth certificate and a couple of old photos. One of the photos is of his mother and father."

I was looking at the album as I spoke and stopped at a picture, "In fact this is the picture I have of Edward and Elizabeth Masen." He pointed at the same portrait we saw of them weeks ago in the Cullen kitchen.

"Well, I'll be. That was their wedding portrait. I guess that would make us cousins to some degree!"

He was correct. We were cousins of the first degree. I smiled at him. "I guess we are. Could you tell me about the Masens here in Rockford?"

It was a familiar story; they were farmers but when the land was worth more in the hands of realtors than sown with crops, many Masens sold out and left for other parts of the world. He was the only one of the family to live locally.

I thanked him for his time and promised to keep in touch with him and I would. It seems that I was all the blood relation he had anymore.

Bella and I drove back to Chicago in silence. I was thinking about family and connections and it dawned on me that I wanted Bella in every way I could have her. I wanted her officially in my life, not just as a courtesy. I wanted her as my wife as well as my companion. Just like my parents declared their love to God and everyone else, I wanted to declare mine as well. I hoped Bella would feel the same.

We could even get married now and live together in her little cottage as she taught and I finished my course of study. The idea thrilled me. I was unsure what Bella would want, though.

We spent our last evening in Chicago much the same as we did the night before, except we prefaced Bella's sleep with a sweet episode of physical intimacy and I sang her to sleep in utter contentment.

I couldn't wait to get home. I was going to give her my mother's engagement ring, if she'd take it. I wanted to make it special for Bella. I spent the night dreaming about our future together and planning how I'd ask her and I counted my blessings. I was a very lucky vampire.

No, I was a very lucky man.

AN: Finally?

Please be kinds and leave a review.

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**Chapter 20: Chapter 20: The Best Laid Plans**

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**AN: This is a long chapter but I enjoyed writing it very much. If you'd like, go to Youtube and play Aaron Copland's Appalachian Spring while you read the concert part. You will understand the delight that Edward and Bella had while they listened.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I am just daydreaming here and sharing it with you.**

Chapter 20: The Best Laid Plans

***BPOV

Ugh. I was nauseous again. I wished this bug I had would go away and stay away. I sipped some water, still not able to stomach the smell of coffee. After I ate a little dry toast, I did feel better. Not perfect. Just better. Bleck. I'd better get going to school.

Aside from my physical funk, though, my life couldn't be better. When we arrived back from Chicago, Edward took me to his parent's house so that we could announce that I had decided to join him in an immortal life. Everyone seemed to be happy, except for Rosalie. She was even more cold and unfriendly than she usually was. I needed to find out what was bugging her. Eternity was too long to live with someone who hated your guts.

Edward was never without a smile these days. Even when we were in Forks, he'd be broody once in a while. Esme said it was because he was the eternal fatalist and could never see the silver lining to any cloud. But since I made the decision to change, he had seemingly put all of that behind him.

His concerto now had a triumphant, exultant third movement. His professors were speaking of performing it at the orchestral winter concert. Edward was frantically writing out the score but even when he was doing that a smile was on his face. The man was the freaking bluebird of vampire happiness. I thought he was very cute. And to be honest, I was as happy as he was.

Tonight, we were going out on a date. Alice had come over to my house the night before and gave me a "gift." By now, I knew what that meant. Alice was disgusted with my wardrobe and was taking matters into her own hands.

She told me that I needed to look special tonight. She even had a special bra to go with the dress. I tried it on while she was there which meant I needed to undress, first. I was surprised when I took off my old bra at how sore my breasts were. Hmm. Well, I had been putting them through a lot lately – or rather Edward had. And it was getting close to my time of the month, wasn't it?

I was just wandering over to my calendar to check the dates, when Alice burst in my room. "Oh Bella, you've to go hurry. Edward's on his way over."

So, I forgot about why I wanted to look at the calendar and hurriedly tried on Alice's outfit. I must say, she had great taste. I looked stunning in it. I hugged my friend and said thanks then shooed her out so I could get ready for my time with Edward that night.

I had no idea why this Friday night was going to be any different than any other but it made Edward happy, so I was fine getting dressed up for it. I loved knowing that I was the reason he smiled. I loved knowing that he desired me. I loved knowing that he loved me. I loved knowing that I was his girlfriend? … lover? …mate?

I supposed that since he was a vampire, I was his mate. He told me that long ago, like he was stating a fact. "You are my mate" he said as if he was saying "you have brown hair." It was a simple fact. But he left the door wide open for me. He recognized, since I wasn't a vampire, he didn't have to be _my_ mate. But oh, I realized, now he was.

I went through the motions of my day, probably not my best as a teacher. I was distracted and day dreamy. The final bell rang and I did the cursory things I needed to get done to leave for the day. I stuffed some grading into a satchel and promised myself I'd get it done this weekend – but not tonight.

I got ready for the evening by giving myself what I call Bella's spa treatment. I am sure that Alice wouldn't consider it spa-ish enough. I took a nice long bath, shaved my legs (and other parts), then I moisturized my whole body, toes to scalp. I let that set a bit, then shampooed my hair, applied a deep conditioner, then wrapped my hair up in a towel. Now it was time for the cucumber mask. After that, I gave myself a pedicure and a manicure, which in my case was simply softening the cuticles, filing, then buffing my nails to an even shine. (No polish for me – I was hopeless at getting that stuff to cooperate.) Then, I washed off the cucumber mask, rinsed out the conditioner and blew my hair dry. There you have it. A Bella Spa Night, done in an hour flat.

I took a little more time with my make up than usual, slid the indecent underwear Alice got me on, followed by the sinful dress. This dress really made my breasts look bigger. I definitely had more cleavage now. I wondered how a dress could create cleavage. I pulled my hair back from my forehead so that it cascaded down my back in glossy, soft curls, slipped on my 'they won't kill you' shoes, (that is - flats) then I grabbed my evening bag and wool shawl, and went down the stairs to find Edward waiting for me in the living room.

I smiled, "I didn't even know you were here."

"I let myself in. I could hear you were getting ready upstairs, and I didn't want to disturb you. I hope you don't mind."

"That's what I gave you a key for, silly." I walked over to him and stretched up to kiss him hello.

He put his hands on my shoulders and held me away from him, "You look beautiful, Bella." Then he kissed me proper. A strange electricity seemed to pass between us that left me gasping. I murmured something not very comprehendible but I knew that Edward got the gist because he smiled back.

I finally got myself together enough to ask, "What do you have planned tonight?"

He smiled, "I am taking you to a moonlit dinner and concert."

"Am I dressed warmly enough?"

"We'll be in a heated area Bella, so I think you'll be fine." He looked at me again and his eyes sparkled, "Besides, it would be a shame to cover that dress."

He drove over to the local college campus and parked near an outdoor concert shell but instead of leading me to the stalls, he took me around to a row of three sided tents that was set up on a hillock behind the stalls and facing the stage. The orchestra was warming up as we were ushered to our small tent which was warmed by two electric braziers. There was a dinner table set with linens and china for two and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the middle. The only lighting in the tent that I could see was the candles on the table. Edward held my chair as I sat down.

"This is very elegant, Edward. Are we going to be served dinner during the concert?"

"I think that's the plan. I believe they are serving prime rib tonight. I took the liberty of ordering it for you. I hope that's okay?"

"Sounds delicious," I responded as our waiter appeared carrying the first course.

I was entranced by the music. The maestro had selected Copland's _Appalachian Spring_ to perform and it was magnificent. I lost myself in the music and floated as the sounds caressed my soul and delighted my heart. The music simply opened me to emotion and feeling and intensity. Occasionally, I'd look over to see Edward similarly transported. I gave up any pretense of eating and reached over to hold his hand as we soared together absorbing the joy that is music.

After the concert, Edward asked if I would like to take a walk through an arboretum that was on campus and I happily agreed. It was mild for an October evening and there was no wind. The moon was full and cast a silvery glow over everything it shone upon, including us. We spoke of the thrill of the music and talked about other performances we'd like to see together in the future. I realized we had all the time in the world to see and hear these things and I was profoundly glad. Edward mentioned that once I was changed, the effect of a well performed symphony is even more intense. He revealed that Esme can't go to concerts without crying over the beauty of it.

We stopped at little bench that over looked a moon-silvered pond. The rolling countryside stretched beyond it to the mountains in the distance. In the moon glow, it was lovely.

We sat together for a moment and just savored the view and the feelings of love and contentment that flowed between us. Edward pulled me close to him and kissed me, just brushing my lips with his. His touch was electric. On his sweet breath was a whisper of love.

He took my hand and said, "Bella, I am sure it is obvious to you since we got back from Chicago that I must be the happiest person on the face of the planet. I still have to pause and remember that you've actually agreed to be My Eternal Love and it just wasn't waking dream."

"My Eternal Love," I repeated. "That's what M.E.L. meant in your letters."

He chuckled, "You were always going to be my eternal love no matter what your choice was. The question was always, was I going to be yours?"

I hugged him, "You are, mine Edward. Eternally."

He held me closely, delicately, reverently and humbly said, "I have no understanding of what I've done to deserve you."

"Edward, I could very well say the same. I wish you could see yourself as I see you. You are a better person than you give yourself credit for. I am very blessed to love you and be loved by you."

He grasped my hands a little tighter, "No Bella, I am the one who is blessed here. I find myself wanting not only to have you as my companion, my lover, and my mate but also, I want to have you as my wife. Will you marry me, Bella?"

_WOW_. Now why wasn't I expecting that? As I thought about it, all of the Cullens were formally wed. Some of them liked getting married so much, they had done it several times over.

Marriage to Edward wouldn't change anything between us, really, but it would make certain things easier as we moved among human populations. Besides, I was surprised to find I was becoming pretty enamored with the thought of becoming Mrs. Bella Cullen. Mrs. Isabella Cullen. Mrs. Edward Cullen.

"Yes," was all I said.

Even in the soft moonlight, Edward's smile was blinding, and he pulled me completely into his arms and laid another one of his Kiss of All Kisses on me.

"Boy, Edward, you could have anything you want from me if you keep kissing me like that," I laughed.

He was laughing too, as he reached into his suit coat pocket and pulled out a jewelry box. "This makes it official. It was my mother's." He opened the box and took a ring out and slid it on my left ring finger. It fit perfectly. The ring was beautiful, of course; late Victorian in design and delicately feminine.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Are you happy?" Edward asked.

"Wow. Yes. I am more than happy. I am amazed."

"You'll wear the ring?"

"Eternally," I laughed.

"Thank you, Bella." He kissed me again, and then rose to lead me back to his car. It took us a little longer to get to the car because for some reason, we had to stop periodically and practice our kissing.

We kissed a little more in the car. He drove me to my home. We sat in my driveway and made out like teenagers. Soon, we moved our celebration into my house, remembering that there would no one there who would try to tone down our festivities.

We celebrated our engagement (wow!) in the typical way lovers would celebrate such an event and afterwards, we lay facing each other caught in a new emotional high. He was holding my left hand, fingering my engagement ring. I could tell his possessive side was coming to the fore now.

"Edward, had you any sort of a time line in mind for getting married, me getting changed, that sort of thing?"

"I've thought about it. I don't see why we can't get married right away. It wouldn't get in the way of your job or my schooling. We could even live in your house, if you wanted to. We should put off your change until I finish my program at SCA, don't you think? Around that time, we'll decide where to move for your newborn stage. I assume we wouldn't change you until we moved. But marriage – I don't want to wait for that."

"Are you going to call Charlie and ask his blessing?"

"Of course."

"You know guys don't do that sort of thing these days."

"This guy does."

"What if he says he won't?"

"I don't think he'll put up too much of an argument. I am sure he'd rather see you married than changed. This would be the better of two evils as far as he's concerned."

"We could get married during Christmas break."

"Two months from now, Bella? That's fantastic! For some reason I was afraid you would want to put it off."

"What would be the point? I know what I want. Why wait? I'd get married sooner but if we waited until Christmastime, Mom and Dad would find it easier to attend."

"You don't want to go back to Forks to get married?"

"Not especially. Here's just as well."

"Is two months enough time to plan a wedding?" Edward asked.

I made a rueful face, "Edward, Alice probably had all the details sorted, selected, ordered and delivered months ago."

He was laughing again, "You are probably right. Does that bother you?"

"No! Shoot, she can do it all with my blessing. I just want to be married to you at the end of it. That's all that matters to me except I want to be the one to pick out your ring. You'll wear my ring, won't you?"

"With great joy, Bella," he smiled but then looked perplexed. He put his hand on his chest above his still heart.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

He looked surprised, "My heart feels like it's trying to beat."

I smiled and leaned over him and put my lips on his chest where his hand had been. "Maybe it's from happiness."

"It must be," he whispered. He pulled me up to his own lips and kissed me gently, deeply, wrapping his arms around me, engulfing me with his love. Turning us so that I was on my back, his lips journeyed down my body, kissing every part; my shoulders, my breasts, my hipbones. His hands softly traced the curve of my back, sliding down to grasp my bottom as his lips worked.

I twined my fingers through his amazing hair and gave myself over to the sensations he was causing throughout my body. Soon, he was lying between my legs, still kissing the skin below my navel. He reached down, grasped my knees and pulled them up so that my feet were flat on the mattress on either side of his arms. He wrapped his arms around my thighs so that I was completely opened to him. He kissed my soft lips there and then spread them apart with his cold tongue. I couldn't tell whether the chills I was having was from his body temperature or my hypersensitive response to his ministrations. Both were completely and delightfully overwhelming me.

Edward kissed and licked and stroked with his tongue and fingers, slowly bringing me to the edge of mindless feeling. Before I reached the heights of sensation, he slid up my body so that our hips met and plunged deeply within me, so that I was filled to bursting in need, in spirit, in desire, and in love. He lifted my hips so that we met at that perfect angle and I gasped as, after a few strong thrusts, we flung ourselves from the peak of ecstasy together.

And I get an eternity of this with this man? I was one lucky bitch.

I couldn't entice Edward to stay the night. He claimed he was protecting my reputation and after another patented K.O.A.K. (kiss of all kisses) he quickly got dressed and left, locking my front door behind him.

I cuddled up in bed with the blankets over my head, savoring his scent and drifted off to sleep. I am sure I was dreaming of being Mrs. Cullen. In it, I remember coming home from work and walking up the steps of our home, which was in actuality Edward's old home in Chicago. I opened the door to be greeted by my Cabana Boy who was for some reason holding a cooing baby. I kissed them both hello and I was blissfully happy until the baby in Edward's arms turned to me and said, "Pay attention, Mama!"

And my eyes shot open. I bet they even bugged out. I wasn't dreaming anymore.

I jumped out of bed, turned on my bedside light and ran across my room to my desk to find my calendar. My last period was September 12th. I was way over due for my next one, by almost three weeks.

It freaking couldn't be!

Maybe I was just late for some other reason. I'd been sick, maybe that's why? Or rather, maybe being pregnant is what was making me sick! I ran downstairs to my computer and googled pregnancy.

Okay. . Pregnancy Symptoms.

Late menses. Check.

Sore breasts. (I touched my breasts.) Ow. Shit. Check.

Bigger breasts. I had thought it was the new bra. Check.

Peculiar aversion to certain food smells. I remembered almost puking over the coffee in Chicago. Check.

Morning sickness. I wasn't throwing up but I just felt nauseated all the time. Half-a-check?

Positive pregnancy test.

It was one in the morning but I couldn't wait. There was a Walgreens Drug Store open all night in town. I threw on a pair of sweats, a sweatshirt, some clogs and my old parka and rushed down there. Once I got in the store, I tried to be nonchalant. _Please, dear God, don't let me see anyone I know. _

I saw the aisle were the pg tests were and walked past them to pick up a box of tampons. Okay… I turned around and walked past the tests again, scooped up one that looked at a quick glance that it would be reliable, then passed to the next aisle and picked up a package of soap. Then, I snagged a back of Peanut M&Ms as I walked through the candy aisle to the check out.

HALLELUIA. They had one of those do-it-yourself check-out registers. I went to it and swiped my items, sneaking the test in somewhere in the middle, shoved everything in a bag, paid for it with my credit card, and got the heck out of Dodge. I didn't have to talk to a soul and I don't think I saw anyone who knew me. Thank God.

When I got back home, I went into my bathroom and got out the test, read the directions, and assumed the position. I was shaking with nerves but was able to successfully complete the task. It said to wait five minutes afterwards. I went downstairs with the M&Ms and set my stove top timer for five minutes. I sat there in my kitchen and watched the clock as I popped M&Ms in my mouth. I refused to let myself think. I was in too much shock to think.

The timer went off. Now, all I had to do was look at the results. I think that was the hardest part. I ran-or rather, skulked- upstairs and went into the bathroom where I'd left the test wand.

I shut my eyes tightly and held the little wand up in front of them so that when I opened my eyes, I'd see the results right there in front of me. Now, all I had to do was open my eyes. Just open my eyes. _Come on, Bella, open your eyes! _

I scrunched my left eye open and focused on the stick. I saw two blue lines.

According to the packet, two blue lines meant I was pregnant. I reread the instructions again. Yes. Two blue lines equals baby. ARGH!

There was no way I could be pregnant. I'd only been having sex for a little over a month. And my lover was _supposed_ to be sterile.

_Someone has a lot of 'splaining to do, Lucy. _

Maybe the test results were wrong? I got the second test out of the box and went through the whole process again.

Still, two blue stripes.

HOW CAN THAT BE? Edward's baby maker was shooting blanks! Besides, Edward was a vampire, for gosh sakes! Two separate species couldn't procreate, could they? It's _impossible_, isn't it?

My know-it-all brain decided to chime in at that point. It wasn't impossible if my theory was true all along, that vampires were a different kind of human, not a different species. _Why didn't I listen to myself?_

But Edward believed humans and vampires were different. OH MY GOD! Edward's going to think I was - no how could he think I had been cheating on him? I am with him practically all the time. But I remembered that Edward was inclined to over react to EVERYFUCKINGTHING. Oh shit.

MY EMPLOYER WAS GOING TO FIRE ME FOR BEING A BAD ROLE MODEL FOR MY STUDENTS. I really was getting sick to my stomach.

And then my frenzied brain thought, OH NO. I was going to have a shot gun wedding! AND CHARLIE IS GOING TO BE THE ONE WITH THE GUN!

ACK! RENEE! She was going to kill me.

CHARLIE WAS GOING TO (try) TO KILL EDWARD. FUCK!

My brain spiraled out of control. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

I was really panicking now. I mean, really.

I was pacing my bathroom floor. I needed to call someone. I needed to talk. I went through the list of possible confidantes but none of them seem to be whom I really needed or wanted. I knew in my heart, no matter what his reaction, I needed Edward. I wanted Edward. He was the only one who could soothe me. We'd get through this together.

I hoped.

I ran to my bedroom and with shaking fingers, dialed Edward's number.

"Bella?" He was surprised to hear from me at 3am.

"Edward." I must have sounded upset.

"What's wrong?"

"I need you," I began to sob.

"I'll be right there." He clicked off and I sat there on my bed moaning, tears pouring out of my eyes, clutching a tissue and scared out of my gourd. Just ten minutes later Edward was sitting next to me, pulling me into his arms. He had run all the way. It was quicker than driving.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

I picked up the wand and showed him. "Do you know what this is, Edward?"

"No."

"It's a positive pregnancy test."

He froze.

"Do you remember when the smell of coffee made me sick? And my breasts are sore – but I thought that was because of you and me and our... And they've gotten bigger. I've been feeling nauseous. Even you noticed my scent was different – fuller, richer; just like you'd expect if I was pregnant. Plus, my period is three weeks late. That means I am most likely five weeks pregnant."

He was still frozen.

"Edward, unless something really screwy is going on, I am pregnant with your baby. But then again, that's screwy in itself," I wailed.

He still sat there like a big, frozen lump. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him, or tried to. I cried out in desperation, "Edward. I need you!"

He roused himself, then looked at me - really looked at me. His golden eyes began to blaze with emotion. In his velvet, lovely voice he whispered, "We're going to have a baby, Bella? It's a miracle!"

He gently gathered me closer and kissed me, passionately and lovingly. "You have brought such incredible joy into my life. My heart is so full."

He kissed me again, "I adore you, Bella."

I relaxed in his arms and sighed. It was automatically better being with Edward. I took long, deep, shuddering breaths and I settled down until I could calmly think about the whole situation. My brain was still going a mile a minute.

"But this really interferes with all our plans," I said.

"We can make new plans."

"How can you become unsterile when you were sterile?"

"I don't know. I am sure Carlisle can figure it out."

"How come you don't think I cheated on you and got knocked up by someone else?"

He just gave me a 'yeah right' look. "I know you better than that, Bella."

"Wow. You are acting really differently than I expected."

"How so?"

"I was expecting you to fly off the handle."

"At first, I was shocked because I never considered the possibility of a pregnancy but then, when I realized what a miracle it was, how could I be anything but enraptured? Besides, Bella, we're already engaged."

"But I won't be able to be changed."

"Yes, you will."

"Not for a while."

"Not sooner than we had originally discussed but maybe not too long afterwards."

"How do you think your family will take this?"

"Ecstatically. How about yours?"

"I am not even sure how they'll take me being married, never-the-less already making them grandparents."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Come on, let's go to bed." He started turning off the lights.

"You aren't going home?" I asked.

He smiled his heart-breakingly, dazzling, and beautiful smile and said, "I already am."

Carlisle examined me and confirmed my pregnancy. After a somewhat lengthy discussion with Edward, he surmised that Edward unknowingly turned on his baby making powers by sitting in hot water for a while before having relations with me. The hot water raised his body temperature which triggered sperm production. I remembered the night we tried out his sumptuous tub. I also remembered something being different – warmth instead of cold. And, hey, I also remember Miss Alice Cullen being all excited and worked up about something that night. I was going to have to talk to her.

Carlisle added, "I assume the timing and the temperature of the conception process is quite complicated. You and Bella inadvertently achieved it perfectly. This baby was meant to be."

I had to ask the burning question, "What kind of baby am I going to have, Carlisle; a human baby, a vampire baby, something of both?"

"We won't be able to tell for a while, Bella. A sonogram won't show us much right now. But if we can reproduce the circumstances where you became pregnant, I could retest Edward's ejaculate and see what sort of gametes he is producing. I have a feeling your baby is 100% human but I'd have to check a few things out, first."

Edward and I decided the best way to break the news to my parents was in person. Edward found that the easiest and most comfortable way to do this would be to hire a small jet to fly to Charlie's, spill the beans, stay one night, then fly to Renee's and do the same. I was glad we would have access to a quick get away. We might need it.

I was still worried about the school district and their reactions there. Edward suggested that we not tell my administrators about the baby until after we were married, although he honestly felt I was being too scrupulous. (Imagine, me being more scrupulous than Mr. 1918?) My due date was in late June, after school let out, so there shouldn't be a problem with having to take maternity leave.

So far, Carlisle said my pregnancy was proceeding normally. He did a sonogram and while it was too early to tell whether we had a girl or a boy, he said the baby seemed completely normal and healthy for a human baby. However, Carlisle was hesitant to turn my care over to a obstetrical practice until he was 100% sure that I was carrying a normal human baby. I was fine with that. My pre-natal vitamins made me constipated but other than that and a constant queasy feeling, I was fine.

My heart-to-heart discussion with Miss Alice was enlightening. She had seen this baby coming for six months. SIX MONTHS. That was before I had even graduated from college. I figured out she started getting premonitions about Edward and me about the time I had accepted the job in Virginia.

She told me it was hard as hell to keep all this information to herself without ruining it for everyone, especially after Edward moved back home. With his mind reading abilities and stubbornness when it came to accepting the inevitable, she had a really tough row to hoe. She was so thankful to finally having to stop mentally singing Cyndi Lauper's songs. She believed she'd never want to hear another one again. Ever.

And of course, she had our wedding planned out down the to the tea lights floating in the glass bowl centerpieces on the dinner tables. In fact, my wedding gown was already hanging in a garment bag in her enormous closet. It was made out of white velvet and cut so that my pregnancy wouldn't be noticeable. Actually, it didn't fit me right now but she promised it would fit perfectly on my wedding day, December 20th.

She told me all I needed to do was to select the wedding ring I wanted to give Edward. She started to describe what I needed to look for when I stopped her. That was something I didn't want any hints about. I wanted to do that all on my own because it had to be something that completely originated in my absolute love for him. That ring was going to be the one that bound me to Edward for eternity.

***EPOV

I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that all these wonderful things would be happening to me. I was going to marry and spend forever with the girl of my dreams and that girl was making me a father. I was going to hold my own child in my arms – something I never believed was in the realms of possibility. It was one of those things that I never thought about wanting because I knew it was impossible but now that it was happening, I was completely jubilant. I was making everyone sick with my over the top happiness, even Jasper. I couldn't help it.

There had been some curious repercussions in our family since Bella and I reunited.

The first was that Esme had to kick Emmett out of her kitchen as he experimented with the blood beer brew. It was as disgusting as it sounded but Emmett was determined to concoct something drinkable using the recipe I brought back from the Romanians. The process smelled so foul and looked so revolting that no one could bear to be in the house while Emmett was trying his hand at it. Finally, Esme hurriedly renovated a storage shed on our property into a brew house for Emmett's exclusive use. She made sure it was well down wind of us and Emmett was instructed to shower and change clothes before he returned home after his experiments.

Emmett was in cahoots with Rüdiger in his quest. They'd been maintaining a friendly correspondence concerning their attempts at brewing. He was even considering a short trip to Berlin to taste the German's efforts. Rosalie refused to go. I didn't blame her.

The second result was evident when Rosalie finally came clean with Bella. She admitted that while she had been thankful Bella pulled me out of my self-imposed exile, she was irate that Bella would consider giving up her humanity in the process. She also confessed to yearning for motherhood and how embittered she was that she could never achieve it due to her vampiric nature. As a result, she was thrilled beyond measure that Bella was bringing a baby into our family and she secretly hoped that one day she could do the same. She felt that if a male vampire's baby making ability was resurrected, surely a female's could, too.

One night when I returned home from hunting, I saw Emmett sitting in the hot tub out on the patio by himself. The steamy water was percolating away as he sat there with a rare frown on his features. His thoughts were sour. He looked up at me and thought _Thanks a hell of a lot, bro._

"What did I do?" I asked.

"Ever since Rosie found out that if you parboiled your sac your baby maker gets back in business, she's had me out here cooking my damn jewels. Every damn night. I am getting tired of it."

I snorted, "She realizes that it takes two to get that show on the road, doesn't she?"

"Yeah but she's having me whack off into a cup so she can have her own personal Emmett sperm bank. She's determined to find away to get the other half of that equation working. I'd say she's found her 'greater purpose' thank you very much, Bella." He spoke to the figurative Bella who was at home nestled in our bed sleeping.

"Life's tough, man," I laughed as he flipped me off.

I don't think that Esme had set a foot on the ground since we announced Bella's pregnancy, she was so elated she seemed to be flying. In fact, she couldn't look at Bella without crying in sheer joy – and cooking her some more food. So far, Esme was batting .500, which was good for a baseball player but not so good for a cook. Bella decided that the best defense in this situation was a good offense. She thanked Esme lovingly for everything she cooked but when she actually made something that was edible, Bella wouldn't stop raving about it and would ask for the recipe. She also snuck into Esme's pantry and made sure all her ingredients were accurately labeled. No more confusing the salt for the sugar. I was marrying a smart girl, let me tell you.

Carlisle was in alt, as well. He and Rosalie were forming an unlikely partnership in the study of vampire reproductive biology and they were almost to the point of building a biological laboratory near the house to more easily work on their project. I steered clear of them as much as I could but occasionally, they'd corner me into providing samples for their experimentation. It was rather embarrassing when your father gave you a Playboy and a cup and showed you to the nearest bathroom. It was worse when your sister did it. Those two had no shame. And besides, the Playboys never did the job. Two seconds thinking of Bella always did the trick. Carlisle also guilted me into sitting down for a long interview concerning the mechanics of my love life with Bella. Talk about embarrassing! But at least Rosalie wasn't there, although she wanted to be. I just couldn't handle talking to them both about something I held so sacred but they just viewed clinically.

The amazing thing though, was that Carlisle discovered that when I, as Emmett so uncouthly phrased it, "par boiled my sac" the resultant material was pure _human_ reproductive matter. It seemed that that part of vampire anatomy wasn't transformed into the same matter as the rest of our bodies were during the change but since our temperature was much colder than a human's, it went into stasis until it was warmed up again. Bella had been correct after all. Vampires and humans were the same species and our baby was going to be a human as well.

This was news that could rock the vampire world but we weren't sure what we were going to do with the information. Frankly, most vampires would make lousy parents, especially to a human – hell, if they didn't eat the human mothers in the beginning, they'd definitely eat their offspring at the end. We were very carefully considering keeping this whole thing under wraps as we had done with so many other things. Fortunately, our family was isolated due to our different life-style so it would be easy to keep this discovery to ourselves.

When I wasn't with Bella or at the Conservatory, I usually was with Jasper. Now that my emotional status was as Bella said, the freaking bluebird of vampire happiness, he took great delight in my company. We'd hunt together and talk.

For being a mind reader and all, you'd think I'd know just about everything Jasper had ever experienced or thought but that wasn't the case. Jasper had learned through a long war torn life to live in the moment. That's why I never learned about his fascinating opinions and experiences, he just never thought about them unless directly asked. It was pretty cool to hear tales of the Civil War first hand and what the actual "atmosphere" was in the southern cities at that time. I could understand why Jasper would get so incensed at American History teachers in the high schools we attended. He claimed they had it all wrong. He was thinking about writing his own book of America History. Hell, he'd seen half of it first hand; he should be good at it.

Bella was coming to terms with all that had gone down with us in such a short time but there was something she needed to face soon. Or rather, there were _some ones_ she needed face, and quickly.

The first Friday in November found us leaving for Port Angeles, Washington by private jet right after Bella's classes got out. We would be getting to Charlies' house later that night. And then Bella was expecting all hell to break loose.

I made back up reservations at a hotel just in case.

**AN: Funny, true story. Back in 1981, I had just suffered a terrible tragedy. One of my brothers had been killed in a plane crash and I was grieving terribly. After his services, my husband and I returned home and picked up the reins of our lives. I was teaching at a high school in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia (about an hour or so from Winchester, by the way) and it was a cold, dreary March day. I had been feeling really punk but attributed it to my brother's death. It was the end of the school day during my planning period and I was sitting alone at my desk gazing into space wondering when in the heck I'd feel normal again. Suddenly, I had a thought. When was the last time I had a period? I did some calculations and it dawned upon me that I was very late. My classroom was right next to the library, so I slid in there, nodded nonchalantly to my friend, the librarian, sauntered over to the encyclopedias and discretely got out the "P" volume, snuck it back into my classroom and looked up Pregnancy. (In my day, the encyclopedia was our form of the internet for information gathering.) I went through the check list just like Bella did in this chapter and was shocked when I discovered I had all the symptoms. Just about seven months later, our daughter was born. **

Okay. This story is wrapping up. The remainder is going to be in epilog form from Charlie's point of view. Thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this and please be sweet and leave me a review. I enjoy hearing your thoughts.

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**Chapter 21: Chapter 21: EpilogueTwenty Years On**

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AN: Disclaimer: Stephenie Myers owns Twilight. I am just day dreaming and playing with her wonderful creation.


	5. Chapter 5 After the Fall 21- End

Chapter 21: Epilogue

Twenty Years On

***Charlie's POV

I pulled the door shut behind me and locked it. That should do it. Forty-five years of my life spent in this house and now I was saying goodbye to it. I climbed down the steps then turned and looked back at the place. It was sold to a young couple, just starting out. They'd be moving in tomorrow. I hope their marriage does better than mine did here. All in all, though, living here was fine. I had a good life.

I stood there remembering the first day we moved in. Renee was hugely pregnant with Bella and I insisted on carrying her up the steep stairs and through the front door. It was probably my last romantic gesture in our marriage. I about broke my back getting her up those stairs.

I looked up at the bedroom window that had been Bella's and remembered when she came back to me her junior year in high school, how quiet and observant she was. I think the two years she spent with me in Forks were probably the happiest of my life as well as the scariest. Living with a teen-aged daughter had its mystifications. But we got through it unscathed for the most part, I guess.

I twisted the gold band of my retirement watch around my wrist so I could check the time. I needed to take some links out of the thing so that it wouldn't slip. I had a while to wait, so I squatted down on the bottom step and pondered my strange life.

My stint as the Chief of Police of Forks had ended last night when they had a good luck/good riddance dinner for me. It was a good time. They held it at the United Methodist Church Social Hall in town and just about everyone in Forks came to see me off. The ladies of the Community League pulled together a nice pot luck dinner and in addition to the watch, I got a pretty nice set of fishing lures and a decent fly-fishing rod. My Forks folk new me fairly well, I think. There were the same funny and heart-felt speeches you always hear but I was surprised at who said the funny stuff and who said the heart-felt stuff. All in all, it was a good ending to a good career.

The best part was that Bella was there with Edward and the two kids.

Yep. I had two grandkids; the prides of my life. It seemed that Edward had been a little misinformed about the damn birds and the bees when he told me that he and Bella could never had kids. Go figure. Just about two minutes after he told me that, the bastard got her knocked up. That shows you what he knew.

But he turned out to be a pretty good son-in-law. I had to admit, he was damn good to Bella. And she glowed. There was no other way to describe it. When little Charlie was born, (I mean, they knew how to win the old man over, right?) she took to motherhood like she was born to it. He was a great kid and I loved teaching him how to hunt and fish.

And he was 100% human just like his little sister. He had Bella's brown hair but the kid had the greenest eyes I'd ever seen. Bella said that Edward's eyes had been green at one point but I wasn't interested in hearing why they weren't any longer. The less I knew about that vampire crap, the happier I was.

Charlie was now in college, in UDub, not too far of a drive from Forks. We spent a lot of time together over the past two years. He was studying to be an engineer. He liked to build things and he helps his Grandma Esme and Aunt Alice, who went into the architecture/interior design business together, with their building projects occasionally.

Two years after Charlie was born, Little Renee made her appearance. Although I didn't like the name too much, I'd have to admit, she was a little beauty. Her hair was as red as a penny but her big brown eyes could melt my heart in two seconds flat. She graduated from high school last spring and was now following her mother's footsteps at Flagler College in Florida, not too far from the retirement place that Renee and Phil had bought into. Bella let slip one day that she and Edward were going to give the kids the choice of what they wanted to do with their "lives." Literally. I didn't want to know about that crap either. Like I said, the less I knew, the happier I was. So far, the kids seemed to be enjoying who they were and didn't show any signs of wanting to become monsters. (I realize that was a little harsh, especially since my daughter now was 'one of those'.)

Bella had even mentioned to me that perhaps I'd be willing to make that change myself but I stopped her from even finishing her sentence. Nope. 'Ol Charlie Swan was content to live out his life the way he came into it, a frail, mortal man. I wasn't interested in eternity.

Bella and Edward hadn't come back to Forks much over the years. I preferred to take my vacations at their house wherever that was. They'd moved a few times since they married. Last night, I heard comments about their unnaturally preserved good looks when Jessica Newton whispered to Lauren Cox some catty statement about the amount of "work" Bella had done and how it must be nice to be the daughter-in-law of a surgeon. I had to laugh about that. Bella was never going to look older than the twenty-seven years old she was when she became one of "them."

After Charlie was born, they moved to a pretty nice old house in Chicago. I think Esme and Alice had helped Bella and Edward fix up the place so that it had all the modern conveniences but lost none of its charm. Both Little Charlie and Little Renee were babies in that house. I used to love visiting there, which was surprising as I am not an admirer of big cities, but there was something about Chicago that got under your skin. Edward composed music for a living and the long hairs liked his stuff, I think. You didn't hear it on the radio unless you listened to the classical station. I went to a concert once where they were performing one of his pieces and it put me right to sleep. Edward wasn't Willie Nelson when all was said and done.

When Little Renie (well, it was better than Renee, wasn't it?) was about two, I was invited to visit when they dedicated a memorial garden in honor of Edward's parents. Now, that was sort of funny since Carlisle and Esme were sitting right there on the front row but I wasn't going to say anything. There was a little square near Edward and Bella's house that had been pruned, preened and planted with maple trees and flowers. There were several paths that meandered throughout and benches were people could sit and enjoy the passing scene. Edward was there with this shriveled up old guy that was some cousin of his, John Masen. It was a pretty summer day and the bar-b-que was good, so, really I had nothing to think about it. Being the father-in-law of a vampire just taught you to roll with the flow and not to ask questions unless you needed to. I found I didn't need to very often.

Shortly after the dedication, Edward and Bella moved to Northern Canada, leaving the grandkids in the capable hands of Carlisle and Esme who moved into their house in Chicago. Bella and Edward were expected to be away for at least a year.

It was in Canada that my Bella became one of 'them.' I visited the grandkids a few times while Edward and Bella were gone and I was able to see Bella on Skip or Skype or some sort of computer gizmo. She talked to the grandkids every night that way. She would read them a story and listen to them talk about their days. I could tell she missed them. She didn't look too much different than she used to. But then, I always thought Bella was beautiful. She surprised everyone, though. She was able to come back home six months after she left. Seems that Edward had brought up with them several articles of clothing and stuff so that she could be desensitized to – well, I think that qualified as more than I wanted to know. I did notice she had one of my flannel shirts with her. She was wearing it when I spoke to her on the computer myself.

Renee, Bella's mother just proved to everyone what a goofball she was in asking Bella every time she saw her what beauty products she used to keep her skin so clear and pretty. She didn't even seem to notice that Bella's skin was always room temperature and her eyes were now light golden brown rather than that deep chocolately color she was born with. I sort of missed them myself. Renee didn't notice anything other than that Bella seemed to have the beauty product market cornered. I told you she was a goofball.

They moved with the kids to Portland, Maine for a while, then to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Finally, two years ago, the whole Cullen clan moved into to a big house in Vancouver, British Columbia. I was invited up for their first Christmas there and got reacquainted with the whole family.

Jasper was a historian. He wrote a lot of books about the US Civil War and it seemed he was gaining some clout in those egg-headed circles that read that sort of thing. We had some very interesting discussions about war strategy and small arms fighting. You'd think he had been in a war himself the way he talked.

The snooty blond, Rosalie, was always working in the laboratory Esme built on the back end of their property. For some reason, I noticed there was a hot tub on the deck attached to it. The big guy, Emmett seemed to like it. He was in it almost every night.

I guess that went with his occupation. Emmett was a personal trainer and in great demand. Evidently, he was really good at helping overweight people get back into shape. Since he was such a pretty upbeat and friendly guy, around him you always felt like anything was possible. I guess that's the kind of encouragement the out of shape needed.

Bella was always able to get a teaching job where ever they moved. She had gotten her master's degree and was now teaching part time in a community college. I think plans were on for her to get her doctorate degree eventually. She was always happy learning something. Her mind was never still.

And the two of them, Edward and Bella, seemed to be as crazy about each other as they ever were if not more so. You could feel the electricity in the air when those two were in the same room. And really, they'd been married for 20 years, you'd think they'd be done with all the handsy crap that went on between them, but no, not them. If they were standing still, Edward's arms were always around Bella, his nose buried in her hair. I don't know what kind of shit she washed her hair with but, man, you'd think she'd get tired of the way he was always sniffing her, like he was some sort of cat with a hunk of catnip. But then, my daughter was always a little strange in what she liked.

And here I was, leaving Forks for the second time in my life. (The first time was when I went to school in California where I met Renee). Esme and Carlisle had invited me to come live with their family and after thinking about it, I figured that was an offer I couldn't refuse. I'd be close to my daughter and see my grandkids when they were about. Vancouver had plenty of places to fish and hunting wasn't that far off. I think I'd be content there.

Just then, Bella drove up in her SUV, smiled brilliantly at me, rolled down her window and called out, "Come on Dad! It's time to go." For a vampire, my daughter was still pretty great.

Yes, my life was strange, but you know what? Strange can be pretty damn good.

FINI

AN: Well, my friends that's it. I hope I entertained you along the way. Please be sure to leave a note telling me what you liked or didn't. Constructive Criticism is always welcomed. I may be writing some out takes, if there's interest.

I thank you for being so awesome.

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**Chapter 22: Chapter 22 Outtake Mother Elizabeth**

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I heard childish squeals mixed with a baritone chuckle and looked up out of the kitchen window smiling at the scene in front of me. Edward was pushing one year old Charlie in the rope swing that was newly hung from a large branch of the maple tree in the back yard. Both of my men were gleeful and I smiled fondly.

We'd lived in our new/old house in Chicago for almost a year and I couldn't imagine a more wonderful place to raise a child. I supposed my original in-laws, Edward and Elizabeth Masen had felt the same way as they raised their child in the same home, that child who is now the father of my baby and husband of my heart. I stood there in utter contentment, marveling how my life had worked out. It was supernaturally incredible.

I sighed as I watched the two, my hands automatically peeling the potatoes I had rinsed. Suddenly, a little thrill, a frisson, caused me to shiver and the hair on my arms and at the nape of my neck stood on end. I saw movement from the corner of my eye and I slowly turned my head.

Standing just feet away from me was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. She was looking at the same scene as I was, Edward and Charlie playing on the swing. She was a little shorter than me with glorious dark bronze hair that was loosely arranged in a chignon at her neck. Soft curls escaped their confinement and I could imagine that she had the same trouble Edward did keeping that mane subdued. Her green eyes sparkled as she stared out of the window, evidently loving the view she watching. Her dress was simple and flowed from her shoulders to her ankles in elegant lines.

I was startled but not afraid. The woman radiated genuine love and peace putting me at ease. And curiously, I knew exactly who she was: Elizabeth Masen, Edward's biological mother who had died during the Spanish influenza epidemic of 1918. From the stories Carlisle and Edward both told, it didn't surprise me that Elizabeth showed up. Of course she would want to know how Edward's life had gone.

Over the next few months, Elizabeth visited us regularly. She never said anything, just looked in on our doings with a beatific smile that exuded happiness.

After the first visit, I would see her often. I'd be rocking Charlie to sleep in his nursery to find her smiling down on us as she stood in the doorway. I'd be hanging laundry on the line in the back yard, Charlie playing at my feet, and I'd look up and see Elizabeth watching from my bedroom window. I'd see her standing on the landing, listening to Edward work on a composition in the music room. And there were times when Edward, in a fit of passion, would take me into his arms and kiss me silly. When I would look over his shoulder, Elizabeth was there smiling at us. When she'd notice I was watching her, she'd smile her thanks and then fade away a shade at a time until she was gone.

I didn't mention seeing Elizabeth to anyone. She never communicated in words but somehow she made her preferences known. She was happy. She was content. She was thankful. But she made it plain to me that her visits were our secret and our little family, our shared joy.

I was also wondering if perhaps I was going crazy. I mean, most people don't see dead people, do they? And I was only seeing one dead person; the mother of my husband, someone who had died more than 90 years ago.

I was in a dreamy fog in those days; blissfully happy in my home with my husband and baby son, a son I didn't think I would ever have. Now, I couldn't imagine an existence without him. I know I was blessed. I had been willing to give up the possibility of motherhood in order to be with the love of my life, Edward. We didn't think a child was possible for us. We didn't believe a vampire could father a baby with a human in the regular way. It was a surprise to everyone when we proved with our little Charlie that it could be done.

I agreed to marry Edward; heck, I agreed to spend forever with Edward under the condition that I _could _spend forever with him. That meant that I needed to become like he was, a vampire. My human life would be too short. But when we found I was pregnant with Little Charlie, we put those plans on hold.

In fact, the reality of Charlie caused us to refigure a lot of our plans. I mean, how do vampires rear a human baby after all? We decided that perhaps I should stay in my soft, immortal form for a while, so that I could be the human momma that Charlie needed.

But Edward proved that vampires could be excellent parents. His supernatural skills unexpectedly lent themselves to it. Edward took the night shifts with a fussy baby, as he didn't need to sleep. That insured I got the much coveted rest that was often elusive for the parents of infants. Edward could also read little Charlie's mind – or at least see the image of what Charlie was crying about. We didn't have to guess, like a lot of parents did. Plus, Edward could tell a poopy diaper from a wet one three rooms away.

Edward loved every part of being a daddy. He sang Charlie nursery songs. He played for Charlie on the piano. He changed him, he bathed him, and he even braved his disgust of human food and would feed him, venturing a taste or two to try to encourage Charlie to eat.

It was one of my greatest pleasures to watch Edward and Charlie together. It gave me a warm feeling and my heart wanted to burst with the love I had for them.

So, I knew exactly how Elizabeth felt when she watched us.

One night, after we put Charlie to bed, Edward slipped between the covers of our bed to hold me as it was our habit. Sometimes Edward would hold me all night if Charlie would cooperate. This particular night, Edward pushed me away a little so he could look into my face.

"Bella, I've noticed something."

"Yes?"

"The other night when I was reading Charlie a story I thought you'd come up behind us but it was strange. I felt you right there but I could hear your heart beat in the kitchen, completely on the other floor. I turned my head but the feeling evaporated.

"Then the next day I was sitting with Charlie in the middle of the living room floor and I felt the same feeling but this time I looked up at you and saw you were looking beyond me, like you were smiling at something there. When I turned, there was nothing there."

"Oh."

"Oh? Do you know what I am talking about?"

"Yes, I do but I thought maybe it was a figment of my imagination, or I was going crazy."

"What?"

"I've been seeing your mother, Elizabeth, watching us for the past few months – her ghost or her spirit – I suppose."

"WHAT?"

"See, you think I am crazy."

"No, I don't but, please, tell me what you know."

"She's been visiting us for the past few months, watching us. It makes her incredibly happy. I am glad you are beginning feel her. Maybe soon you'll see her, too."

"Wow," was all Edward would say, then he looked around our darkened bedroom as if he could see her at this moment. He pulled me closer to his side and he whispered, "So, she watches us doing normal everyday things?"

"Pretty much."

He whispered in my ear, "Do you think she watches us make love?"

"Edward!"

"I hope she gives us privacy for that sort of thing." His eyes were darting around the room.

"I've never felt or seen her presence during those times, Edward. I don't think your mother would want to see you have your way with me, to be honest."

"How about the times you have your way with me?" His hand slid down my back to cup my buttocks.

"Do you think she'd be shocked to know how often I molest you?" I pushed my hips against his and felt his stiffening arousal.

"I think she'd be mortified but probably no more mortified than knowing that I can make you crow like a rooster when my tongue does its magic down below."

"Oh Shut! I do _not_ crow like a rooster!" I sniffed but Edward just laughed.

"Cock-a-doodle-doo," he teased.

I rested my head on his chest as I nestled in his arms, "You don't think your parents had that sort of love-life, Edward?"

"I don't know, honestly. My father never had a man-to-man talk to me because, in his mind, I was too young at the time. Wasn't it Queen Victoria who told her daughter to 'close her eyes and think of England?' She was a good old example of the times and my folks were a part of it."

"I hope they did enjoy their private times, Edward. Ours means so much to me."

"You like how I make you feel?" Edward asked, even though I knew he knew the answer.

"Absolutely. Always." I smiled into his eyes, his hands slid further down my thighs and he lifted me up so that was lying flat on top of him. He then adjusted our positions so that he could kiss me full on the mouth.

I purred into his kiss. "How do I make you feel, Edward."

"Alive. Awed. Amazing. Aching. Anxious…"

"Anxious? As if you were anticipating something wonderful?"

"Affirmative." His hands stroked down my thighs and he pulled them apart so that I was straddling him, my body deliciously aligned over his, pressing against him. I rocked my hips once or twice.

Edward moaned.

"Are you feeling a little anxious right now, Edward?"

"Aye. Anxious, aching, … aggressive."

Suddenly, Edward flipped us both over. I was lying on my back and Edward was propped over me, sliding my night gown up (I now wore night gowns instead of pajamas specifically for ease of access. Yes, I was a minx.) Edward groaned as he felt my bare body under him and he let me feel the full force of his 'anxiety' as he kissed me deeply – so deeply that I could faintly taste the sweetness of his venom, something that rarely happened.

Without much more foreplay, his boxers were off and he was inside me, slowly bringing me to my peak. He never stopped kissing me, his hands lightly brushing my nipples as my delight climbed higher and higher. I slid my hands down and gripped his butt, encouraging his movements.

I hit my peak just as he lifted off of me and arched his back, gasping my name in rapture. I could feel his shuddering cold release deep within me, bringing me completely to fulfillment. He collapsed into my arms and we lay there together blissfully spiraling back down to reality.

"How was that?" I asked, wanting to revisit our delight in words.

"Amazing. Awesome," he said in a breathy voice, then added in a completely different tone, "Awkward."

Surprised, I looked at him and saw him staring at the doorway our room. Following his gaze, I looked knowing what I'd find and there she stood, Elizabeth.

Her lips were twisted in a knowing smile, her eyes were sparkling under her arched eyebrows as she watched us. Fortunately, the duvet was still covering our lower halves but my husband was still inside me. Awkward, indeed. I now know how I would have felt had Charlie ever walked in on Edward and me in my bedroom during our courtship back in Forks. I was mortified. I kept on telling myself "we're adults," "we're married," but I was still utterly embarrassed. And of course, I blushed.

Even with his quick vampire mind, Edward was paralyzed with shock. After all, he hadn't seen his mother in ninety years and the first glimpse that he gets of her is right after he had made love with me – as we were still mostly naked - as he was still lying between my legs - as the ghost of his mother smirked at us from across the room.

The first thing Edward did was to roll off of me and make sure I was decent. Then he sat up (the duvet was covering his lap) and said in a shaky voice, "Mother?"

Elizabeth's expression changed as she looked at her son to one of loving adoration. I could feel the warmth of it permeating the room. And then she slowly faded from sight.

We both watched her fade, then turned to each other with questioning looks on our faces. "How long do you think she was standing there?" I asked.

"I don't know, Bella. My focus was elsewhere." He smiled down at me.

I sat up, "Do you think she's going to watch us every time from now on?"

"I have no idea, Bella. I hope not. I really don't want my mother to even know I do these things, you know?"

"She didn't appear to be very shocked, Edward. Maybe she's not as prudish as you thought."

"I wonder why she's visiting us. Shouldn't there be somewhere else she should be?"

I shook my head, stifling a yawn, "Maybe this is her heaven, Edward, seeing her son happily married with a sweet grandson. Maybe this is where she wants to be." I yawned again, "I am tired, I think I will sleep now. Hold me?"

Edward leaned back as I wrapped my mini-electric blanket around me and turned it on. We found as long as I was wrapped up in my little 'hot pocket' – named after an old nickname Edward had – I wouldn't get chilled lying in Edward's arms, where I could sleep all night long. Edward seemed content to hold me and now that Charlie was sleeping through the night, it became our nightly habit. That was _my_ heaven.

Life went on for us as it had been since we moved to Chicago. I was taking some on-line courses towards a master's degree to keep my foot in the door of my career but most of my time was spent in taking care of my two men. Edward was a composer and had some modest success with several pieces. Recently, he was approached to do a sound track for a movie and he was kicking some ideas around with his agent about that. Little Charlie was happy and active and he was the darling of our hearts. With occasional visits from our family members, I couldn't imagine being happier.

My birthday was coming around and I was soon going to be twenty-five years old. One night, Edward found me peering critically into the mirror above our bathroom sink. "What are you doing, Bella?"

"Looking for crow's feet and/or grey hair."

Edward laughed, "There's none there, my love. You are still in the blossom of youth."

"I am aging, Edward. I hope I won't be too much older before I am changed."

Edward sighed. This wasn't his favorite subject but he still was resigned to doing it. It was my choice, after all. "I was thinking that perhaps I should look for a likely home for us to live in during the process. Carlisle and Esme have offered to come here and take care of Charlie for us while you get through your newborn stage." Esme had become a proficient cook since I had married Edward. I finally took the bull by the horns and explained the necessity of double checking the ingredients before she killed me. Accidentally, of course.

"I can't be around my child?"

Edward sadly shook his head, "Generally speaking, newborns are overwhelmed by the blood lust. As much as you love Charlie, he wouldn't be safe until that passed for you."

"I am not ready to leave him, yet." Bella looked sad.

"We still have time, Bella. You don't have to do it until you are ready."

"I am torn. I want it but I don't want to leave Charlie right now. It doesn't feel right."

"Then we won't."

I smiled at him, realizing that life was just a bunch of compromises sometimes, and got ready for bed. I wrapped myself up in my hot pocket and burrowed into Edward's arms. Heaven. Soon, I had drifted off to sleep.

I was dreaming of our meadow, that beautiful place near Forks where Edward first confessed his love and his nature to me but this dream was combining elements of our past with our present. Specifically, this dream was all about the sex. In our original meadow meeting, Edward had to be very cautious in the physical expression of his love for fear of hurting me or killing me. He now was completely in control of his baser natures and our love life was fantastic.

In my dream, we were lying on a blanket in the middle of the glade. I was wrapped in Edward's arms and I was enjoying the warmth of the sun shining down on us. My leg drifted off to straddle his and I could feel his desire responding to my nearness. My hips started to rock against his thigh and I could feel all my thoughts turn to loving him. Emotionally, physically, spiritually I loved him with my whole heart.

Edward shifted me so that I was lying atop him. I traced his jaw with my lips, just skimming lightly. He groaned and I could feel him clench his fingers in my night gown. Night gown? Why was I wearing a night gown in the meadow?

I was distracted from that thought by the play of his fingers along my thighs, drifting higher and higher. My knees spread apart and suddenly I was straddling him while still lying flat upon his chest. Edward grabbed my hips pushed me down onto him. He filled me.

"Bella," I heard him whisper as we moved together in perfect bliss. Suddenly I was awake to find myself overwhelmed with sensation as we made love. I think my blissful moans were what woke me. I sat up arching my back as Edward held my hips and continued to push and pull me into a delightful frenzy.

"Ahhh, Edwarrd," I moaned, teetering on the edge. I was so close, that when his fingers lightly brushed me there, I fell into that honeyed sweetness of sexual satiation. I slumped over Edward's chest, kissing his lips in love and gratitude. "You are such a good lover. I could do this all night."

Edward laughed and turned us to push me down against the mattress, still embedded in me. He kissed my neck and moved his hips in languorous circles, drawing out the orgasm that still popped through my body like silvery firecrackers. He gradually sped his movements and I squeezed my inner muscles causing him to gasp. "Bella, I won't last if you do that again," he said.

So, I did it again. It was his turn to be indulged. He gripped my hips as he shouted out his hot release and I smiled in delight and wonder. The sensation was warm this time - for the first time since little Charlie was conceived.

He collapsed on my shoulder and I giggled in delight.

Holding me close with one arm, he unwrapped my 'hot pocket' that for some reason had gotten wrapped around his legs. "What's so funny, Bella?" he said as he tucked me back up in my electric blanket.

My eyes twinkled at him, "Edward can you tell where I am in my cycle?"

He buried his face into my hair and inhaled, "You're about two weeks away, I'd say."

"So, I am ovulating?"

He inhaled again, not because he had to but because he liked doing it. I was on to him by now. "I'd say you were. Why?"

I put my arms around his neck and kissed his lips, "It was warm this time, Edward, just like it was for Charlie."

My vampire husband gasped in shock, "When you crawled on top me, the electric blanket fell down between my legs. It must have done the same thing the bath tub did the first time."

I nodded. That's the only way it could have happened.

Edward held me close. "How do you feel about having another baby, Bella?"

I thought for a moment. "I am happy. I didn't ever hope for it but if I am, I'm glad that Charlie will have a sibling."

"This will put off your change."

"That's okay. I wasn't ready for it yet anyway. But, you know we may be jumping the gun. Nothing like that could have happened tonight. From what Carlisle said, it takes a lot for our conception wagon to get on the trail."

"Your analogies are very odd, Bella," he chuckled.

"I am an odd woman. I thought you knew that."

"I did. I do. I love it. I love you. Now go to sleep. You need your rest." And he spent the rest of the night cradling me in his arms as if I was a rare jewel. I think I saw the loving shade of my ghost-in-law fade away just before I slipped off to sleep.

Charlie woke with the chickens, as he usually did, and I hopped out of bed before Edward could to go to him. Our day went on as usual. Edward was working on a composition in the music room – what was his father's old study. I tried to put the thought of a pregnancy out of my mind. It would be unlikely that we could once again unintentionally conceive and I focused upon that most likely outcome. I didn't want to let myself hope because suddenly, having another baby was what I wanted more than anything.

I worked out in the garden in the afternoon. Edward was lying down with Charlie while he took his afternoon nap. My husband loved to hold Charlie as he slept. He said that he could watch Charlie's sweet baby dreams.

I was covered with dirt when I finished weeding and digging about in the garden. My impatiens were a riot of soft color having done very well in the sheltered back yard this summer. I was sad to see they were nearing the end of their season. I put my tools in the garden shed and made my way back into the house. I decided to take a shower and get cleaned up before cooking supper.

But I was filthy. I didn't want to drag this muck through the house. I stood in the mud room and listened. I couldn't hear either of my men, so that probably meant Charlie was still down for his nap. I decided to strip off my clothes right there. Leaving them in a pile on the mudroom floor, I sneaked through the first floor and up the stairs completely naked, hoping Edward wouldn't see me. I didn't mind him seeing me that way but you have to admit, it was 'odd' that I was sneaking bare bottomed up the stairs in the middle of the afternoon.

I successfully made it to our bathroom and turned on the shower. Esme had outdone herself with it. We had a huge shower head that hung down from the ceiling and jets of water that shot out from the sides. It was so luxurious; my showers took a lot longer than they needed to. I had just shampooed my hair and soaped up my body when I felt a draft and then Edward's bare arms were wrapped around my waist.

"Oh, hello husband," I smiled.

He pulled me closer so that I was slipping against his hard body, "Hello, wife."

"Are you going to help me with my shower?"

"More likely get in the way of it. Charlie's sound asleep having dreams of puppies. I guess we know what to give him for Christmas this year." Edward stroked his hands up and down my body as I nestled closer.

"A puppy? That sounds like fun."

"Boatloads," he replied vaguely – he seemed to be distracted.

He inhaled deeply, "The steam just increases your delightful fragrance. It's like a drug..."

He stopped mid sniff, in surprise. "Your scent is different, Bella. It's fuller. You smell just like you did when you were pregnant with Charlie."

"Really?" I squeaked. This was too good to be true.

"I think so. I'd bet you're pregnant."

"Edward, you're better than a home pregnancy test," I laughed.

Edward held me, his eyes looking down into mine with joy, "Bella, words aren't enough to tell you how happy I am. I don't deserve this."

I chuckled, "Neither do I but I'll take it anyway."

I hugged him tightly, the warm water washing over us. He lifted my chin so he could kiss me – another patented K.O.A.K, never fear – and we continued on from there.

When we got out of the shower later, I looked across the room at the large mirror that had been installed over the sinks and gasped. There, written in the steamy fog on the glass was a huge heart. Inside was written in old fashioned script, "Many blessings, my beloved children. E. M."

We both were in awe. However, I was really beginning to hope she'd stop checking in on us whilst I was crowing like a rooster.

But in actuality, we never saw her again after that. It seemed that her time with us was limited and once she saw how happily we were settled, she could fade into her own eternity, wherever that was.

And as the rest panned out, indeed I was pregnant and due around the time Charlie would turn two. There was much rejoicing throughout the Cullen, Swan and Dwyer households. Our baby girl, Renee Elizabeth, was born on the tenth of June. Five days later we celebrated Charlie's second birthday and five days after that, Edward's one hundred and eleventieth. I was married to a freaking old man.

Of course, Rosalie wanted an in depth interview on the hows and whens of our conception story. Out of pity for Emmett, we decided not to tell her or Carlisle about the efficacy of a 'hot pocket' in assisting in the vampire conception process. Rose would have poor old Em in electrified boxers in a heartbeat. Emmett never knew how much he owed us.

* * *

**Chapter 23: Chapter 23 Out take Renie at Sixteen**

* * *

Out take: Renie at sixteen

The problem with having vampires for parents is they never sleep, they can hear a pin drop from a mile away, and they are obsessed with keeping their fragile human daughter safe. (I wasn't really that breakable, just much more breakable than they were.) To top it all off, my father can read the minds of the boys who are brave enough to show up at our front door to ask for me. He is NEVER happy with what they are thinking for some reason, so he will glower and growl scaring the boy to death and I am lucky if the kid will even say hello to me in the hallways at school the next day. Or the next month.

I may as well have been living in a convent.

I heaved a great, self-pitying sigh and slammed my fist into my pillow. Here I was, Renee Elizabeth Cullen, sweet sixteen and never been kissed. I think I was the only girl in my old school with the same problem. Even Lucy Womble had been kissed by Ricky Stevenson behind the football stadium bleachers field last spring. Ricky Stevenson would kiss anybody - except me. Dad got to him early. (But I really didn't want to kiss him anyway. He had bad breath and smelled like rotten oranges. Yuck.)

My mother was a little more sympathetic but she never really understood the agony I was in. When she was sixteen, the furthest thing from her mind was being kissed by a boy. She couldn't understand my desire. One day I will remind her if she remembered what it was like to be seventeen and not kissed. She and Dad met when she was seventeen and they _couldn't_ kiss because Dad would have killed her. Literally. He got over it, though. Evidence points: me and my brother, Charlie.

And Charlie could care less. He had just graduated from high school and was heading down south to attend the University of Washington. Grandpa Charlie was ecstatic. He'd have his fishing and hunting buddy nearer at hand to help him torture the wild life. I could never understand that particular compulsion.

But anyway, we had just moved to Vancouver and I was attending a new school. No one really knew me there (or my Dad), so I was really trying to figure out how I could meet a young man without my parents freaking out on me. The problem was, Dad could sort of read my mind, as well. Not as well as with everyone else he met except for my mother, but he could get the general gist of my thoughts if I wasn't concentrating on keeping him out. That kept me on my toes. I found that thinking about rap music did a good job of blocking dad, so I've had a steady stream of Snoop Dawg, Lil' Wayne, and Kanye West looping through my mind lately to keep him out. The first day of school was coming up and I wanted this time to be different. I wanted to be normal. I wanted a first kiss - and maybe a second or third one, too.

I loved Vancouver. It was a beautiful city, surrounded by water and mountains. And there were an abundance of Tim Horton shops around for me to get my coffee fix. And our new house was dead gorgeous. Grandma Esme had designed it.

Oh, I just had a thought. I should tell you about my family.

First, there's my mom and dad, Bella and Edward Cullen. Mom and dad met in high school but they knew the chances of a "mixed-marriage" (the mix being my mom was a 17 year old human and my dad was a 103 year old vampire) being successful were dismal, so they broke up. Eventually, when they got their emo out of the way, they reunited and lived happily ever after. Charlie and I were an unexpected blessing. Mom decided to become a vampire so she could stay with dad forever and a more perfect couple, I'd never seen. They really loved each other.

Then there's Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme. Carlisle, an emergency room doctor, was the head of our family, but Grandma Esme was the heart. My grandparents didn't look like grandparents. They looked like runway models but that's only because they were vampires. Old age and debilitation wasn't gonna happen. They were the kindest and sweetest people you had ever met, though. I think they must have been the original hippies because they honestly believed "All You Need is Love" and every day was Woodstock in their world.

Grandma Esme and Aunt Alice owned an architectural and interior design firm. As a result, any home we had was always a thing of beauty and peace. Aunt Alice was the diva of design and she insisted that we all looked our best and had the best. My mom would grumble when Aunt Alice would drag her out for some therapeutic shopping but that's because my mom had always been a creature of comfort. She was happiest in a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, to Aunt Alice's horror. But I loved going shopping, playing dress up, and having make overs with my Aunt Alice. She just knew a girl had to look her best to feel her best and being as I was the only human in the house (since Charlie was away at school) I needed that extra boost a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes would bring to a girl's confidence. (I wasn't allowed to wear them to school.)

Aunt Alice was married to Uncle Jasper, a historian specializing in the Civil War but really he cheated – he had been _in_ the civil war, so all he had to do is write down what he saw with his own eyes. I teased him about it all the time. Uncle Jasper was my favorite – and you should see him dressed in the confederate uniform Aunt Alice had made for him as a surprise. He'd only wear it at costume parties but, Lord, is it right to say this about your Uncle? He was HOT! But I loved, as a little girl, sitting on his lap listening to him tell me stories; real or made up, I didn't know. His soft southern drawl was the sweetest lullaby. I loved spending time with him. And he loved spending time with me. He said it was because I was so sweet. I sure had him fooled.

Then there were Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett. Aunt Rosalie was the sort of person who didn't mind making sure you knew where your place was in her world and I'd frequently get the sharp end of her tongue, but she made sure _no one else_ was going to ever fuss at me. She was insistent that I learn to protect myself, so we'd frequently kick-box for fun. (Not at each other, because she could kick me into the next country if she wanted to.) She was almost as protective of me as my dad. And that was saying something. Uncle Emmett, her husband, was just a big ball of fun – make that mountain of fun. He was huge and stronger than he was big. He was always up for a game or a joke. I was his conspirator for all the practical jokes we played on my dad. Since dad couldn't clearly read my mind, we could spring a surprise on him once in a while. Uncle Emmy was all for that. I was the only one who could call him Emmy – my privilege for being his co-conspirator. Uncle Emmy never called me Renie (what everyone else called me so as to not confuse me with Grandma Renee, my mom's mom). Uncle Emmy called me Princess. And I guess, if I was really honest with you, that's exactly what I was – Princess Renie of the family Cullen and no one in the family ever let me forget it.

This was the first time since my parents had gotten married almost nineteen years ago that all of the Cullens were sharing a home. Before my parent's marriage, the Cullens had always lived together but when mom and dad got married and had Charlie right away, it was a mutual decision that our small family should have our own place, although we had a constant stream of family visiting.

Evidently, it was hard for vampires to live with humans. First, there was the chance blood could be spilled in the natural course of events – kids fell down and scraped their knees all the time. My mom, dad, and Grandpa Charlie had supernatural restraint when it came to that sort of thing but the rest would be very uncomfortable in that situation. Also, being attacked by a vampire in the throes of blood lust would have an unfortunate side effect for me and Charlie (and mom before she was changed) – we'd be dead. Plus, preparing human meals would be like living next to a paper mill for my vampire family. They really hated the smell of human food in any form: raw, cooking or cooked. Then, there was the fact that humans needed their rest and vampires only used beds for entertainment purposes. It wasn't fair to have a quiet/lights out policy for people who didn't sleep. But then, on the other hand, it was hard to sleep if there was someone else making a bunch of noise. So, they compromised. The Edward Cullens lived elsewhere.

But finally, my Grandma Esme had her heart's desire having us all living together again. She designed a 'compound' that would let the humans do their human thing without impacting the vampires and vice versa but we had a huge common area where we could all hang out and chill. We spent most of our time there. Our 'wing' of the compound had a kitchen that was vented downwind of everyone else and our bedrooms were sound proofed. For some reason my mother, who never slept, was very glad to have it. I heard her mumble to dad that the sound proofing would keep Uncle Emmy's inappropriate sense of humor out of their private business. I had no idea what she was talking about. Uncle Emmy could care less about her teaching and dad's musical composing.

Yes. I loved having my family around and I loved living in Vancouver. All I really needed now were some friends – a boyfriend in particular.

My first day of school was nerve wracking. I was so nervous. It was the first time I would be going to school without someone with me. Charlie was in Seattle having gone down two weeks before to start his first year in University. I hated to admit it, but I was going to miss him. He was unflappable and took everything in stride. He would have helped me get through this day but unfortunately, I was on my own.

Aunt Alice had "looked ahead" to see what I should wear on my first day. You'd think I would already know what I should wear to school, right? Well, I can tell you the truth. What was cool to wear in Minneapolis, Minnesota may not be so cool in Vancouver, British Colombia. Plaids were definitely out in Minnesota but I could see the kids were still wearing them in Canada, or at least in this part of Canada. So, Auntie Alice set me up for my first day's look: green vans, skinny jeans, dark green button up blouse, and navy blue hoodie. The blouse was cut so that I looked a little more curvy than I was. I made sure to pull the zipper up on my hoodie before dad saw me. He wasn't interested in making me look good. I pulled my hair back with a small head band and let my mane (I had my dad's weird hair) flow down my back. There was no controlling my hair. It had a mind of its own and as long as I could keep it out of my face, I was happy. Aunt Alice did my makeup and Aunt Rosalie offered to drive me to school in her fire-engine red BMW. She even offered to put the top down. But mom pulled rank and I rode to school with her and dad in their Volvo SUV (what else?).

"Are you nervous, Renie?" mom asked.

"A little." Then I changed my mind, "Actually I am a lot nervous. Maybe I should be homeschooled."

"Renie, you'll be alright. You'll make some friends. I remember when I went to Forks High the first time. I did okay." She and my dad exchanged a glance in the rear view mirror. Their eyes sort of glazed over and I know what they were thinking about. Mom and dad met on her first day at Forks High. It was almost her last.

"Maybe I'll meet my own soul mate today, hunh?" I asked just to tease my dad.

His response was predictable. He didn't say anything, just narrowed his eyes and growled.

"DAD! You need to cut that stuff out! I am sixteen years old and, while I really don't want to meet my soul mate just yet, I wish you'd back off so that I can be a normal teen ager. Do you realize I've never been on a date in my whole life? That's because you scare the shit out of anyone who shows any interest."

"Renie. Language," mom said.

I mumbled a sorry but then my glorious mom turned to my dad and said, "You really do need to let Renie have these human experiences. If you don't she'll never know whether she wants to stay human or become immortal. You're forcing her into her choice by not giving her one."

He looked a little shocked by that. I guess he didn't realize what he was doing beyond keeping anyone with a penis away from me. I could tell he was going to have to think about that a bit before we could have an intelligent conversation about it.

We pulled up in front of the school and after refusing my parents' offer to accompany me inside, I got out of the car and walked through the double doors into what I presumed was the office. The secretary greeted me and then directed me to the guidance department where I was introduced to an apple-checked counselor who printed out my schedule, gave me a school map, and then turned me loose on the campus. It was still several minutes before the first class was supposed to start, so I found a quiet nook so that I could see where mine was located. I was relieved that it was Math. I always found math easy. It didn't matter where you were in the world, 1 + 1 always equaled 2. That was something I could rely upon. It was comforting.

So, I gathered up my bag, my map, and my schedule and went looking for the room. I found it without too much difficulty and wasn't surprised that no one was there yet, including the teacher. I was ten minutes early. I didn't know whether they had assigned seating or not so I just sort of hovered near the teacher's desk waiting, which just increased my anxiety.

Finally, people started to trickle into the room. I tried to look friendly and make some eye contact but my fellow students pretty much ignored me. Maybe they were as shy as I was (actually, I wasn't shy at all. I am the Princess). One boy sat down in a student desk near me and I asked him, "Excuse me, are there assigned seats in this class?" He just stared at me and didn't answer. When I said "stare" I meant "gawped". His eyes were as big as saucers and his mouth gaped open. Somebody threw a paper wad at his head and said sneeringly, "She asked you a question, retard." I looked over at the boy who did the throwing with disdain. I hated name-calling.

I then turned to the gaping one and said as sweetly as I could, "Well, I am going to assume there aren't assigned seats and sit next to you." I sat down and said, "My name is Renie Cullen. I'm new."

His voice squeaked and he blushed vermillion, "My name is Rand Walker."

"Rand?"

"Yeah. My parents are big _Wheel of Time_ fans. I am just glad I wasn't born a girl. My name would have been Nynaeve."

I laughed. My parents were sort of goofy, too. At least they hadn't saddled me with a weirdo name. I took a good look at Rand and liked what I saw. He was lean and tall with thick blond hair, sort of like my Uncle Jasper's. He had grey eyes and when he smiled – oh, his dimples were to die for. Stop drooling, Renie.

I gathered my wits together and told him, "I was named for my grandmothers. My name is actually Renée but they came up with Renie so they could differentiate between the two of us."

"I think Renie is a fine name," he said gallantly. Just then, the teacher arrived in a flurry of papers and demanded our attention for the rest of class. I sat there and was able to relax for the first time so far that day. Math was math was math – I had no worries there and after learning the teacher's expectations we were set to work on some review problems so the teacher could assess our levels. Rand and I finished about the same time and after we turned in our papers, the teacher let us talk quietly.

"Did you think the review was hard?" I asked.

"Uhm. Not really. It was what we did last year. Did you have any problems with it?"

"No. Math comes easily to me for some reason." His eyes lit up when I said that.

"What other courses are you taking this term?" he asked.

I looked at my schedule, "Let's see, English, Social Studies, Info Tech, Biology, Photography, a study period and eww, I have to take French. I've never taken French before. I was taking German in Minnesota."

"We all have to take French as it is the second language of Canada - and the first in some places back east."

I nodded. "I wonder whose idea it was for me to take Photography?" Mom and dad had registered me for school here while I was finishing up my sophomore year in Minnesota. I wasn't into taking pictures that much.

"Sometimes when you are late in scheduling, you have to take what's left."

I nodded, "Are you taking any of these classes with me?"

He reached for my schedule and looked it over, "I think we will be in Biology together, can I save you a seat?"

I grinned, "Please do!" Just then, the bell rang and we were dismissed. Rand was kind enough to show me the way to my next class. Wow. I think I made my first friend.

As I was sitting waiting for my second class to start, I was trying to remember what my dad told me about mom's first day at Forks High. He said he was drawn to her at first because he couldn't read her mind, then he smelled her and it was a whole new ball game. I had to laugh, my dad the vampire mind reader. It frustrated him that he couldn't read mom's mind unless she let him. I inherited that from her to a degree but dad could read me a little, especially if I wasn't aware of him trying to listen to me.

Hmmm. Suddenly, I remembered how protective my dad was and it dawned on me that dear old dad was probably in the top of a tree somewhere near my school campus following me around with his mind. AND reading the minds of my classmates. Poor Rand.

Well, I had a message for my dad.

_Dad?!_ I thought as clearly as I could, _Give it a rest! Go home and love on mom or something._

Then I started internally rapping as loud as I could:

_I went asleep last night_

_Tired from the fight_

_I've been fighting for tomorrow_

_All my life._

_Yea I woke up this morning_

_Feeling brand new_

'_Cause the dreams that I've been dreaming_

_Have finally come true._

_It's a new day_

_It's a new day _

_It's a new day _

_It's a new day _

(-Will.)

I think I made my point. It was a new day, a new year, and a new start and I think it was going to be pretty damn good.

* * *

**Chapter 24: Chapter 24 Out take Bella's Gift**

* * *

AN: I think this will be th last out take that I will write on this story. I thank you so much for reading and leaving reviews. It's very nice to hear from you.

Out take: Bella's Gift

It's a boy, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen!"

I stood there, still as a statue, and forgetting to fidget. Every cell in my body was in shock as I stared at the little being that was my son. I was a father. A FATHER! I could hardly believe it. It all seemed hypothetical on an emotional level until I saw with my own eyes my son being born. My eyes felt as though they were welling up with tears as grateful and loving emotions overwhelmed me.

I watched as the doctor took our little son over to the warming table to make sure all was in working order. I heard as he called out to one of the attending nurses, "One minute APGAR score: nine."

So, he was healthy. I heaved a sigh of relief and looked down at my wife, my miracle girl. It was a miracle that she loved me. It was a miracle that she wanted to be with me. It was a miracle that she gave me a son. She was staring in the direction the doctor took our baby, a bemused expression on her face. I leaned down and kissed her on her forehead, "Thank you, Bella."

She looked up at me with a happy smile, "For what?"

"For everything." I shook my head in wonder and awe, "Everything." I reached down and grabbed her hand as we heard a strong cry, our baby telling the world he was here.

The doctor, having swaddled our son, brought him over to me, "Would you like to hold him, Mr. Cullen?"

I nodded and held my arms out and took him, making sure my cold hands didn't touch him anywhere on his skin. I looked down into his little red face and was instantly enamored. I could hear his heart beating away like a train engine and his brand new lungs filling and emptying of air. The sound of his blood rushing through his arteries and filling his capillaries was entrancing. I could simply stand here all day and watch the beauty of his bodily functions. "He's beautiful, Bella," I said to my wife. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Oh, yes," she said as she held out her arms for the little one. Her eyes were smiling.

We gazed together at the small wonder she held in her arms. "He's beautiful, Edward."

"You both are," I answered. Bella was glowing, she simply became more beautiful during her pregnancy and it seemed motherhood would do the same for her. My heart was full.

I remembered watching as she walked down the staircase of the Cullen home on the arm of her father on that day last December when she married me. I knew then I was living a dream.

The doctors and nurses had finished their work and set Bella's room to rights – from delivery room to hospital room. Both Bella and the baby were doing well.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, I believe there are a few people who would like to come in and meet the new member of your family," a nurse said, "would you like me to get them now?"

I looked at Bella, it would be her decision, "Give us five minutes alone, first, please," she asked.

The nurse nodded and left the room. I scooted up on the bed and enfolded my wife and my son in my arms. Bella held the baby, who had drifted off to sleep exhausted from being born, then turned her beautiful face to me. I leaned down and kissed her – gratitude, joy, happiness and of course, desire, expressed in my caress.

Bella felt it and laughed, "Edward, you can still want me after witnessing what you just saw?" She seemed amused.

"Oh, Bella, I feel completely unworthy to even touch you. Yes, of course I love you, I desire you, I need you, I want you. This right here," I squeezed them both in my arms, "is my universe."

She leaned towards me and kissed me again and we lost ourselves for a moment. Suddenly the door burst open and Alice rushed in a little too fast for human eyes to see.

"Let me see!" she cried. A few steps behind her were the rest of my family, keeping the ruse up a little better than my excitable sister.

"Alice!" Rosalie chastised, "Remember where you are!"

"No one saw me," Alice shrugged, but held her arms out for the baby, "Can I hold him?"

Bella slipped the little one into his Aunt's arms.

"He's beautiful, Bella," Alice said in awed tones.

Emmett showed up with an armful of sports equipment. I saw a football, a baseball glove, a hockey stick, and a basket ball. I looked at him in disbelief. "Emmett, aren't you jumping the gun a bit?"

"You can never start too early, bro. He's got natural talent." I was wondering how Emmett could tell that from the glimpse he had of the baby.

Esme looked as if she could cry from happiness. She leaned over Bella and myself and kiss us both on the cheek. "I am so happy for you both."

"We're delighted to make you a grandma, Mom," I said.

Esme grinned brightly.

Carlisle was looking at some charts then looked at us, "He's very healthy. He weighed almost ten pounds! And he's twenty one inches long. He's going to be a good sized man."

I looked up to see that Rosalie was now holding the baby. She had a dazed and happy look on her face, "Bella, if you ever need a sitter, I'll be there. I love babies."

Alice was standing next to Jasper, her arms about his waist. He said, "Congratulations, Edward and Bella. He's a fine boy."

I nodded my thanks, looking for the last member of our family. I knew he was here because I could hear his amazed thoughts. I saw him standing in the corner, a shell shocked look on his face.

"Charlie, I am glad you're here. When did your flight get in?" I asked.

Charlie bashfully shuffled over to Bella and said, "As soon as I got the call, I was able to get a flight out of Seattle pretty quick. I got here about an hour ago."

He put his hand on Bella's arm and looked down at her, "How are you doing, honey?"

"I'm great, Dad. It wasn't too bad. The doctor says everything is fine." Charlie leaned down and kissed Bella on the head and squeezed her arm. His thoughts were full of relief and happiness. He then turned to look at the baby. He was awestruck.

Bella and I had decided to name any child we had after her parents. Carlisle and Esme were going to share eternity with us but Renee and Charlie's time with us was brief and I know we'd want a reminder of them after they had gone.

Bella asked her dad, "Would you like to hold the baby?"

Charlie took a deep breath and nodded his head, "Sure."

Rosalie gently laid our baby son in Charlie's arms.

Bella said, "Dad, I'd like you to meet your grandson, Charles Edward Cullen. We're going to call him Charlie, after you."

Charlie was stunned and his eyes filled with tears. He looked at Bella and me, still sitting together on her bed and smiled shakily, then looked down at Little Charlie still sleeping in his arms.

He had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could answer, "Thanks, kids." He looked down at Little Charlie and said, "Hi there pardner."

I pulled Bella a little closer to me and smiled. Carlisle stood next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I could hear his wordless expression of joy. In fact, joy was the common theme in the thoughts of all my family and this joy centered around the beautiful girl in my arms. Even more that bringing us little Charlie, Bella's presence in our lives had brought the Cullens joy and fulfillment and helped us to become more human than we had ever dreamed of being. It was Bella's gift to us all.

* * *

**Chapter 25: Chapter 25 OUt take Charlie's a Playa**

* * *

Outtake: Charlie's a Playa

"Dad?" I opened the front door to my father's home – what had been also my home for a few years as I was growing up – and all the poignant 'coming home' feelings blossomed in my heart. I was happy here. I was devastated here. I was loved here. This home represented stability and my father's unfailing care.

Dad's cruiser was outside but there was no answer to my call, so I walked down the hall to the kitchen and looked around for a note or any evidence of my father.

It was the same as it always had been in there except now I could pick up on a lot more than I ever could before. For instance, I could tell that someone besides my dad had been in here this morning. In fact, I could smell her. Yes, her. Dad had had a woman in here.

Hmmm. I looked around a little more. I noticed that the pictures on the mantel had been rearranged. No more pictures of Renee but a heck of a lot of pictures of Little Charlie and Renie. Yes. Dad had bought into Gramps-hood lock, stock and barrel.

I hadn't been to Forks since I had been turned four years ago. I don't know why that was the case except that it seemed that Charlie preferred to come visit us in our home rather than us coming here. I always thought it was because Charlie liked getting away from the small mindedness of Forks but now I was beginning to think there was another reason. That reason was all around me in scent. I sat down on the sofa and an entirely new scent surrounded me – another woman, different from the first.

I stood and ran up the stairs. The scents of different women were everywhere up here, even in my old bedroom.

What in the heck had Charlie been up to?

I walked to my dad's room dreading what I'd find there and stopped at the closed door. Uhm. On second thought, I decided not to go in there. I backed away as if the door was a live snake and returned downstairs. Perhaps I could have dinner ready for Dad when he got back from where ever he was, like old times. I went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator expecting to find nothing but Vitamin R and maybe some left over takeout meals. Instead, I found a cornucopia of Tupperware dishes with neatly written tags on them saying things like "Meatloaf" and "Veal scaloppini" and "Chicken pot pie." The tags had a variety of writing on them as though they were written by different hands. Feminine hands.

I stood there in bemusement when suddenly, the phone rang. I picked it up hoping it was my waylaid father, "Hello?"

Quiet first and then a feminine voice, "Who are you?"

I was rather flustered that someone would call and then ask me who I was rather than identifying herself, so I said, "Whom are you calling?"

"_Whom_ do ya think?" She was poking fun at my grammar. (I was correct by the way. Direct objects are always 'whom.' English Teacher, here.)

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe her chutzpah. "Perhaps you have the wrong number?" I was really floored by this woman's behavior.

"Is Charlie there?"

"Uhm. He's not available right now." I wasn't telling this bitch anything.

"Is that so!? Well, when he gets available, tell him that Trish called wanting to thank him for the _good time_ last night." She sniffed when she said that as if the _good time_ was along the order of something I just didn't want to think about my dad doing.

"Okay. I'll tell him."

"So, who are you?" she asked rather pointedly.

"I am Bella."

"Bella? I haven't heard that name before!"

"Then you must not know Charlie very well." I knew that I was the apple of his eye.

"Honey, I know him well _enough_." She laughed suggestively.

"I'll be sure to tell him you called. Goodbye." I hung up on her. I know I couldn't blush anymore since my change but boy did I feel like I was. What in the world was going on with Charlie?

I pulled a few of the Tupperware out and decided I could warm up some of the meat loaf and make him some potatoes, a salad, and I saw another container of some sort of green vegetable. Green Bean casserole, I think. It looked like cat food to me. I washed a baked potato, turned on the oven to 350°, then oiled it with olive oil (since when did Charlie keep olive oil in his pantry?), wrapped it in aluminum foil, then threw it in the oven and set the time for an hour. I set the table and waited some more.

Where was Charlie?

The phone rang again.

I almost decided not to answer it (why the Chief of Police didn't have caller ID, I didn't know) but then if it was Dad, I didn't want to miss him.

"Hello?" I know I sounded tentative.

Another pause, then "Bella?!"

I recognized that voice, "Jacob?" I said hesitantly.

There was silence. I knew what he was thinking. I was the enemy now.

"You've come to visit Charlie?"

"Yes. I wanted to surprise him."

More silence on the line, then, "He's fishing with my dad."

"Oh. Do you know when he'll come home?"

Jake said in a sneering voice, "You think it's safe for him? You sure you won't get hungry?"

"I'll ignore your rudeness, Jake. If you see my dad, could you suggest he come home?"

More silence, then, "Bella, I am sorry. That was rude. I just can't understand why…"

"Jake, have you ever been in love?"

"Well, I've liked a girl or two."

"No. I mean in love so much you'd do anything for your heart's desire, even change your mind?"

I startled a laugh out of him, "No, I don't think so, Bella."

"Well, I have. I don't regret a thing I've done. It's not me who is unwilling to be friends, Jacob."

I heard a deep sigh, "I guess not. If I see Charlie, I'll tell him to go home."

"Thank you. Uh, wait a minute, Jake…"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you call here? You knew that Charlie wasn't here when you called."

"A friend of Charlie's called me saying that a strange woman answered Charlie's phone and said her name was Bella. I was just checking."

"Oh. Okay. I was just wondering." I hung up the phone. So far this trip had been disappointing and confusing.

I decided to take a run up to the meadow. I turned off the oven to make sure I wouldn't burn Charlie's house down. I was so conflicted. This trip wasn't turning into what I'd hoped.

I needed Edward. I was sorry that I didn't ask him to come with me. He was hip deep in writing a score for a musical and I knew he was just barely keeping his head above water meeting deadlines with it. Personally, I knew that Edward worked faster than any other composer writing today and I believed his current employers were simply taking advantage of his stellar work ethic. But he told me he was fine and not to worry. I don't think his butt had left his piano bench in three days.

Little Charlie and Renie were visiting Renee and Phil in Florida for a few weeks and you'd think that would give me the opportunity to have a second (or third or fourth) honeymoon with my sweetheart but he was tied up.

Lord, how I missed him.

I slipped into the forest and ran in a northeastern direction, zeroing in on the meadow's location by smell. Edward told me once that running was his favorite vampire activity and for him, when he really let loose, it was like flying. I now knew exactly what he meant. I could just keep up with Edward when I was a newborn but now he left me in his dust. He rarely did for long. He wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him.

Truly, I missed him. I was aching with longing for him. Maybe coming to Forks by myself was a mistake.

I was beginning to sound like a mopey teenager.

Finally, I got to the meadow. It was lovely in the summer, wild flowers everywhere. And there was no one else there to disturb my vigil. As the sun set in the west, I sat in the center of the glade, inhaling the beautiful scent of fir forests and flowers and I remembered.

I remembered coming here for the first time on a day of firsts. Edward admitted to me his nature but he also revealed his feelings for me. He explained how hard it was for him to hold himself back because my blood called to him. We later discovered, after I was changed, that it wasn't my blood that called to him, it was something about me. He still was as enamored of my scent as much as he ever had been but this time without the burn of bloodlust.

I laid back and stretched my arms above my head, gazing at the purpling clouds above me and sighed. I was remembering the last night we had together before my flight. Each time we made love touched my soul in ways I'd never dreamed before.

I remembered sliding my hand along the planes of his body, marveling at how soft and warm he felt to me now. I remembered demanding that he not move as I slowly, tantalizingly let my fingers drift along his arms, his chest, gently, gently teasing and tasting with my tongue the fulsome beauty that was Edward – but I avoided places more attuned to what I was doing. Taunting him with my touch-coming so close to where I knew he wanted attention, only to drift away. His muscles were shuddering and shaking with need and desire and he moaned my name in a guttural growl. I remembered how I smiled wickedly, then put my lips to the shell of his ear and described what I wanted to do to him and how I wanted to do it, my hand stroking down his chest. I soughed my whispered words downwards, following my hand until I came to him aching, needy, throbbing and made him whole. I remembered how he curled around me in rapture, crying my name.

"Edward," I longingly whispered out loud. I shut my eyes remembering the feel of his lips and his arms around me when suddenly I felt those lips and those arms. I gasped and opened my eyes and there he was leaning over me.

"Edward!" I flung my arms around his neck and tackled him, causing us to fly backwards twenty feet.

He laughed, "I couldn't let you go without me. I had to come. I am sorry."

"I am not sorry. Not a bit. So far this trip has been a disaster. You saw what state I was in when you arrived."

He chuckled again, "I could tell you seemed a little lonely and perhaps…needy?"

"I missed you so much. I am so glad you knew I would and came to me."

"The minute you left the house I shut down. I couldn't work. I couldn't think. All I could do was long for you. I said the hell with this and got on the next flight out of O'Hare to Seattle. I was right behind you all the way."

"How did you know I was here in the meadow?"

"That was the easiest of all, I was lured by your alluring fragrance. As soon as I saw in what direction you went, I knew exactly where you were going; here, our meadow."

I hugged him tightly, kissed him and for the first time ever we made love in this place, the genesis of our love, our meadow.

An hour later, we walked hand and hand up the steps to Charlie's front door to find my Dad sitting in front of the television, eating the dinner I'd put together for him.

"Dad!" I ran to him and hugged him.

He grunted a little and managed, "Bells. Edward. This is a surprise." He was smiling so I could tell he was happy. "The kids here?"

"Ah no, Dad. They are in Florida visiting Renee so I thought I'd take this opportunity to see my dear old dad." I responded.

I looked hard at my father. Something was different, "Dad! You shaved your moustache!"

He self-consciously stroked his upper lip with the hand that wasn't holding his plate, "Well, I thought I needed a change."

I looked at him and narrowed my eyes, "Dad, what's with all the food in your refrigerator. Did someone die?" I was remembering how when Grandma Swan died everyone in town dropped off a casserole. I guess they believed we needed to eat through our grief. But no one died lately that I knew of.

"Welp. Just some friends of mine fixing me some food," was all dad said.

"Do they think you're starving up here?" I asked.

"Well, no. Just being neighborly."

"Hmmm. Oh, that reminds me. Trish called."

My dad's ears started to turn red, "She did?" He was staring at the ubiquitous sports event on his TV, obviously trying not to look at me.

"Yeah, she did. She wanted me to tell you that she had a good time last night." I tried not to say it with the same emphasis Trish gave it but it was hard not to.

Dad sort of slid down in his chair and hunched into himself. The red had spread from his ears, down his neck, to his cheeks.

He didn't say anything, I didn't say anything and Edward just stood to the side, an amused smirk on his face. Dad was lasering in on what was showing on the TV screen and I was lasering in on dad's face. "Dad," I asked, "Are you dating?"

"I can't see why it's any business of yours but I go out now and then with some friends."

"Friends? As in more than one? How many, Dad?"

"Now, that really isn't your business." Dad was getting huffy.

"Dad? I can smell at least four different womanly scents all over this house, even in my old BEDROOM. I purposely didn't go into your bedroom because, well. I just don't want to know more. But I can tell you one thing. I am never going to sit on that sofa again!" I was pointing to the offending piece of furniture. I was getting mad now. "You didn't raise me like that!"

"Now, Bella, calm down. I am an adult and I get to make my own choices, especially concerning my love life. Seems to me that was your argument a few years ago, if I remember rightly."

Edward came over to me and put his arm around me, "Now Bella, Charlie's right. You need to stay out of it."

"But Edward, what if he gets some sort of rotten disease?"

"Trust your Dad, Bella, just as he had to learn to trust us."

"But I wasn't playing around with every p… man that crossed my path." I shot Dad an angry look.

"I am sure your Dad's not doing that sort of thing either, Bella. But the point is, even if he was, it isn't our business. You are embarrassing your dad. As much support and love as he's given you, you should at least respect him enough to give him his privacy."

I sighed. Edward was right, as usual.

Men always stuck together.

"Well, Dad, at least you aren't starving."

"But, hey." Both Edward and Charlie looked at me, "Keep those women out of my old room, okay?"


End file.
